mary1941 is offline mary1941 Post #1  September 29,2010, 10:29am
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First of all, I have a spare bedroom in my house. I am sometimes matched with men who, sometimes, live a distance from me. How can I best bring this to the person's attention, without implying that they stay in my room?
 
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Lovemy40s is offline Lovemy40s Post #2  September 29,2010, 10:33am

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I would never have a match that I didn't know stay in my home..
Last edited by Lovemy40s; September 29,2010 at 1:21pm. Reason: mis-read the OP...dorky me...LOL..
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  September 29,2010, 10:37am
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I agree -- don't invite someone you haven't met in person to stay at your house. If they're coming to meet you in your town, they can stay at a hotel or with friends of theirs.

And don't stay at their house, if you go to their town to meet them.

You don't know these people until you've met them!

Welcome to EHA!
 
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annother is offline annother Post #4  September 29,2010, 10:48am
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If you have been dating someone for enough time to trust them, then you can invite them to stay over. You could explain that it would be purely platonic unless and until the relationship has become more intimate. There is no guarantee, though, that once they are in your home the relationship will remain platonic. That is the risk (or chance?) you would be taking.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #5  September 29,2010, 10:59am
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I was once invited to stay at a man's house in a platonic sense, just for practical reasons, while we were long-distance dating. I'd already met him a few times and trusted him at that point, however.

If you do this, make sure your boundaries are crystal clear. And be prepared to kick him out (and point him towards a motel) if he crosses them. Keep in mind that inviting someone into your house like this may make you feel obligated (as a host) to put up with more than you should.

Even if you trust the men you invite over, be very careful.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  September 29,2010, 11:00am
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annother wrote :
There is no guarantee, though, that once they are in your home the relationship will remain platonic. That is the risk (or chance?) you would be taking.
Yes, this is true, too. Just being in the same house will make it harder to refrain from intimacy. If that's fine with you, great. If not, you may wish to reconsider. (For your sake and his.)
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  September 29,2010, 11:03am
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mary1941 wrote :
First of all, I have a spare bedroom in my house. I am sometimes matched with men who, sometimes, live a distance from me. How can I best bring this to the person's attention, without implying that they stay in my room?
Tell them it's available at normal rates....and it gets consistent AAA ratings of four diamonds....
Throw a nice continental breakfast in there and you're good to go.
think business opportunity!
Last edited by TheThinker; September 29,2010 at 11:08am.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #8  September 29,2010, 11:08am
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mary1941 wrote :
First of all, I have a spare bedroom in my house. I am sometimes matched with men who, sometimes, live a distance from me. How can I best bring this to the person's attention, without implying that they stay in my room?
Best thing to do is suggest the nearest hotel where they can book a reservation. Might even want to suggest some websites or coupons in which they can get a nice discount. lol

Seriously, I don't think it is a good idea to invite anyone over to your house that you haven't met yet. Also, what man wants to travel far to meet a woman at her house only to sleep in the spare room? He is going to wonder what is wrong with YOUR room?

Keep your residence private until you get to know the gentleman.

B.Y.
 
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Getting_There is offline Getting_There Post #9  September 29,2010, 11:13am
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Like everyone else says for safety reasons have him stay in a nearby hotel or motel nearby first if you don't know him well enough yet. Also helps in case you don't hit it off and need to get away from each other.

It's easy to bring up. Just say they're welcome to stay in your guest bedroom when they visit.

In my case I've found it's good to have similar conversations about sleeping arrangements or boundaries if we decide on traveling or meeting at a distance spot which requires an overnight.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 29,2010, 11:44am
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I agree with the others that until you have been dating someone for a while that it would not be a good idea to have them staying at your house.
 
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