toony2 is offline toony2 Post #1  September 28,2010, 10:23am
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Last edited by toony2; September 28,2010 at 3:15pm. Reason: Deletion
 
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Bill1104 is offline Bill1104 Post #2  September 28,2010, 10:30am
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Time to stop chasing him. You have given him ample opportunity to tell you what is "wrong." He chooses not to say.

There is little else you can do now except to withdraw and let him decide what he wants to do. If he decides to return to your life and does so without a satisfactory explanation of his recent behavior, you've got a problem.

Good luck - hope it works out.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #3  September 28,2010, 10:31am
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I think he's probably done, unfortunately. Too much pressure too soon. Appearing clingy or needy, regardless of the actuality, will drive me away quicker than anything; I think you will hear that is very common.
Back off, let him breathe. he knows how to find you!
Best of luck - hope he just needs some space.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  September 28,2010, 10:32am
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He had a psycho gf, you were the rebound. A warm body that replaced a whole lot of what he did with his ex minus the psycho part.

Don't regret asking him what you are doing - you needed to know. However, that did force him to tell you straight up that you are just a rebound girl. It's likely that now that his gig is up, he feels awkward about seeing you again or talking to you.

Also, you did way too much apologizing and pestering him. You asked a good question and then lost your courage because his behavior toward you altered. From all the contacting and apologizing that you were doing, it's quite obvious that you want more than just to be his rebound buddy and are actually looking for this to turn into a serious relationship. He walked away.

This probably won't make you feel better, but really it was only a matter of time before he would have walked away from you anyway. It's actually better now than another few months from now when you are even more invested in him.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  September 28,2010, 10:38am
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Yes, I have thoughts on your situation.

Basically, this man told you that he was busy, was having a rough day and was preparing for the LSAT(which is a hard test).

He also told you that he just got out of a relationship and he is currently going through some minor drama with his ex. Essentially, he told you that he did not want to rush into any new relationships(as he should) and he enjoys your company.

What you did, in my humble opinion, is tell him that you understood his situation, but you contradicted yourself and did not allow him space to handle his business. You blew up his phone by calling and texting. You became annoying and to be honest, I don't blame him if he decided not to talk to you anymore.

I am not trying to jump on your case, but you should put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if someone told you that they are not trying to pressure you into a relationship and understand that you are busy and going through some drama, is tired and is preparing for a test, has to practice for a sport, study, sleep and conduct other business, yet constantly calls you and essentially puts you on the spot asking you to make a choice on whether to continue to talk or not?

Wouldn't that put you off? Here you are, having a lot on your plate, you being honest and nice and that not being enough for the guy. You would probably ignore him just like your guy is ignoring you.

What you need to do is give him his space. Stop calling. Stop texting. Stop sending messages on facebook. Let him do him and handle his candle. When he is ready to talk to you he will call you back or text you back. If he doesn't, then you know the reason why.

In the future, if a man tells you that he is busy then believe him. Treat him like he is busy and go on about your business. Don't be a "bug-a-boo"!

Hope everything works out for you.

B.Y.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 28,2010, 10:50am
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Personally I think that you have dodged a bullet here. I also agree with DancingFool.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  September 28,2010, 11:33am
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DF 100% correct below. There is one thing I'll add that may make you feel you dodged a bullet : Restraining order? Whow!... think about that..... they have on-going two sided drama; he either has a taste for psychos or he plays a role in it.
DancingFool wrote :
He had a psycho gf, you were the rebound. A warm body that replaced a whole lot of what he did with his ex minus the psycho part.
Don't regret asking him what you are doing - you needed to know. However, that did force him to tell you straight up that you are just a rebound girl. It's likely that now that his gig is up, he feels awkward about seeing you again or talking to you.
Also, you did way too much apologizing and pestering him. You asked a good question and then lost your courage because his behavior toward you altered. From all the contacting and apologizing that you were doing, it's quite obvious that you want more than just to be his rebound buddy and are actually looking for this to turn into a serious relationship. He walked away.
This probably won't make you feel better, but really it was only a matter of time before he would have walked away from you anyway. It's actually better now than another few months from now when you are even more invested in him.
Last edited by Wiseman2; September 28,2010 at 11:36am.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #8  September 28,2010, 1:14pm
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DancingFool wrote :
He had a psycho gf, you were the rebound. A warm body that replaced a whole lot of what he did with his ex minus the psycho part.

Don't regret asking him what you are doing - you needed to know. However, that did force him to tell you straight up that you are just a rebound girl. It's likely that now that his gig is up, he feels awkward about seeing you again or talking to you.

Also, you did way too much apologizing and pestering him. You asked a good question and then lost your courage because his behavior toward you altered. From all the contacting and apologizing that you were doing, it's quite obvious that you want more than just to be his rebound buddy and are actually looking for this to turn into a serious relationship. He walked away.

This probably won't make you feel better, but really it was only a matter of time before he would have walked away from you anyway. It's actually better now than another few months from now when you are even more invested in him.
As usual, DancingFool gives wonderful advice. I suggest you heed it.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #9  September 28,2010, 1:22pm
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He is pulling away...and he told you why...there are unresolved things with an ex. You were a rebound g/f....move on.

He basically went poof on you.
 
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