So guys, when you look @ a girl's profile....


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sparowe is offline sparowe Post #1  September 27,2010, 7:07pm
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...aren't you really meeting the person? Especially if you end up actually meeting them. So what has struck you differently,comparing profile to person? what are the most and least interesting/exciting/repugnant things to see? What gets you in the throat? (thanks, R.E.M.) Or is it stupid of me to think a profile can be that crucial... after all, it's your first impression. And if this is a flight of fancy, how come some first glance-and-perusals stand out so, and others fizzle?

eta: this is intended as a question of chemistry and personality, not a site mechanics one... my profile scans fine, thanks)


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Last edited by sparowe; September 27,2010 at 7:17pm. Reason: to clarify
 
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WA_hiker is offline WA_hiker Post #2  September 27,2010, 7:25pm
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What I look for in a profile:
- attractive face
- not excessively overweight
- shares common interests with me
- doesn't smoke and not an alcoholic
- displays at least a basic level of competence in spelling and grammar

On eharmony, I send first questions to pretty much any match that meets those 5 criteria. I'm sure other guys have their own things they look for. Spark and chemistry is determined later through more open communication and really can only be assessed accurately once you meet in person.
 
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windsurfing is offline windsurfing Post #3  September 27,2010, 7:43pm
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WA_hiker wrote :
What I look for in a profile:
- attractive face
- not excessively overweight
- shares common interests with me
- doesn't smoke and not an alcoholic
- displays at least a basic level of competence in spelling and grammar

On eharmony, I send first questions to pretty much any match that meets those 5 criteria. I'm sure other guys have their own things they look for. Spark and chemistry is determined later through more open communication and really can only be assessed accurately once you meet in person.
wow. just that? you are open-minded. that is great!
 
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Raw_Truth is offline Raw_Truth Post #4  September 27,2010, 7:54pm
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What I look for:

1.) I find her physically attractive (requires a full length body shot)

2.) I have a significant "in" that would compel her to respond; we share a favorite book, author, movie, vacation spot, career, etc.

My goal is to find out if I want to meet them (and they me). IMO, no, I am not meeting the person.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #5  September 27,2010, 8:07pm
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After reading a few thousand profiles I tend to notice creativity and will respond with enthusiasm. It happens once every few hundred, if that.
 
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dwightst is offline dwightst Post #6  September 27,2010, 8:26pm
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Great thread! Keep it coming, guys!
 
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RedPoet is offline RedPoet Post #7  September 27,2010, 9:06pm
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WA_hiker wrote :
What I look for in a profile:
- attractive face
- not excessively overweight
- shares common interests with me
- doesn't smoke and not an alcoholic
- displays at least a basic level of competence in spelling and grammar

On eharmony, I send first questions to pretty much any match that meets those 5 criteria. I'm sure other guys have their own things they look for. Spark and chemistry is determined later through more open communication and really can only be assessed accurately once you meet in person.
+1

Nailed it right on the button for me.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  September 28,2010, 1:56am
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In my experience, profiles are a poor guide to what a person is like, especially outside of more quantitative criteria. One thing I have especially learned, is that sparse profiles have been some of the best people (easy to hypothesis why, as better people get taken off the market quickly.)

I like to see a sense of personal acheivement / individual accomplishment reflected in her interests and experience. Evidence of goal oriented behavior, satisfaction due to success. Someone who sets the bar high for themself, and describes themself (rather than a list of demands) in a manner which is appealling.

Things that are a close for me include overweight / unkempt / uneducated / unprofessional / illiterate / lower class. I close for animal or celebrity infatuation, and usually close for an excess of popular media products classified as important. I close for any reference to being supported ("seeking a gentleman to treat me to the finer things in life" is one of the most common phrases in female profiles, and always an instant close.)

I close for clear incompatibility on goals, and usually close for references to specific desires in a partner which do not reasonably describe me - including, often, those which probably do but I don't like people who are wanting more than they bring to the table (this attitude is a common one.)

I close about 70% of matches at the profile (not including for photos, since as a non-paying eH user, I am unable to see photos.) I send the questions to all the rest. Once I open, I am usually prepared to meet at that point, unless some deal-breaker crops up during the communication process (that's less than half the time.)
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  September 28,2010, 5:12am
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I would agree with things below.
Well put together in photos and words.
Open , multidimensional.Any repetition of a theme: cats, cats cats, or my kids, my kids, my kids, etc.
The reason I look for this is if they only have such a narrow range things they can relate to. What could I connect with?
Also some who lists mostly solitary or self absorbed activities: reading, watching, TV, surfing internet, or self improvement, "growth" etc.
WA_hiker wrote :
What I look for in a profile:
- attractive face
- not excessively overweight
- shares common interests with me
- doesn't smoke and not an alcoholic
- displays at least a basic level of competence in spelling and grammar
That's it. below focuses more on good reasons to close
D_Lion wrote :
One thing I have especially learned, is that sparse profiles have been some of the best people
Someone who describes themselves (rather than a list of demands)
Things that are a close for me include overweight / unkempt / uneducated / unprofessional / illiterate / lower class. I close for animal or celebrity infatuation, and usually close for an excess of popular media products classified as important.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #10  September 28,2010, 6:04am
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D_Lion wrote :
In my experience, profiles are a poor guide to what a person is like, especially outside of more quantitative criteria.
I agree with this. I really don't even pay much attention to the profile at first because it either is very poorly done or they did what I did and put a lot of work into it but will obviously only list all the good things about them that they think will get them a match.

Once you start talking to someone is when you really get to know them. I really don't think the profile is going to give you a good description of what a person is like.

The first time I really look at a profile is when I'm ready to send my stage three questions because then I use what's in the profile, or not in the profile, to determine what I'm going to ask. This is when I try to get information they didn't list or clarify something they did.
 
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