RedPoet is offline RedPoet Post #1  September 27,2010, 8:11am
RedPoet's Avatar

wonders what would happen if full contact origami was televised

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Calgary, AB, Canada

Posts: 74

See profile

So, the date that I ended up having on Friday night that looked promising turned out not so good since I have yet to hear back from her and it's been 3 days now.

Where did I go wrong?

- We agreed to meet up at 6:45 at a coffee shop, but she showed up a little over 30 minutes late (she did text me and let me know that she got held up at work, but that was shortly after 7)
- Had coffee together (she ended up getting a latte) and I offered to pay for the two of us. She didn't offer to pay for hers, but she thanked me for it
- Sat down in said shop and talked for a little over 2 hours. However, I did notice that throughout the night that, in order to keep the conversation going, I had to mainly ask the questions and she talked. There was few points where I could talk, and she didn't ask me very many questions.
- We both were up early that day so at about 9:30 I offer to walk her back to her place, since it was dark out and she was a fair distance away.
- After taking a bus to get to the second bus that she has to get, she said that she'd be fine for getting back from here. I offered to wait until her bus came and she seemed to like that.
- We talked some more as we waited for the bus, and we even started to work out a day when we were going to see each other again.
- Once her bus took off, I left and went home. I sent her a text that night saying that I had a great time and I hope that she got home safely. She replied and said that she did and that she enjoyed herself as well.

Now, here's the kicker:

- I phone on Saturday afternoon on the same cell number that she had given me. I get a voicemail recording and leave a message. No response for the whole day.
- I texted her on Sunday, asking her if she got my message from Saturday. No response for the whole day.

At this point, I'm done with her. I've tried contacting her twice and it was the day after the date occured. Not this "wait three days" crap. I was calm and living in the moment on our date, I wasn't stressing out or worrying about anything. I just let it happen naturally.

Now I can see why people hate poofers so much, this is frustrating.

Where did I go wrong?
 
  Reply With Quote
WA_hiker is offline WA_hiker Post #2  September 27,2010, 9:33am
WA_hiker's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2010

Seattle, WA

Posts: 184

See profile

Probably you did nothing wrong. Just the usual "she's not that into you" situation. Most girls will never reply, just ignore you.
 
  Reply With Quote
StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #3  September 27,2010, 9:42am
StPaulGirl's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Aug 2010

Posts: 578

See profile

WA_hiker wrote :
Probably you did nothing wrong. Just the usual "she's not that into you" situation.
Agree

WA_hiker wrote :
Most girls will never reply, just ignore you.
This is not a female only disease. Guys do it just as often.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  September 27,2010, 9:47am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,303

See profile

If she really poofed, then yeah, that stinks and most likely has nothing to do with you.
Maybe she was away the weekend or going out on other coffee dates. Give it time, can't hurt.
Email one more time, see what happens. I was out of my cell phone service area once and what a pain. Don't assume the worst , until you have proof, such as she also ignores an email.
RedPoet wrote :
So, the date that I ended up having on Friday night that looked promising turned out not so good since I have yet to hear back from her and it's been 3 days now.
Now, here's the kicker:
- I phone on Saturday afternoon on the same cell number that she had given me. I get a voicemail recording and leave a message. No response for the whole day.
- I texted her on Sunday, asking her if she got my message from Saturday. No response for the whole day.
At this point, I'm done with her. I've tried contacting her twice and it was the day after the date occured. Not this "wait three days" crap. I was calm and living in the moment on our date, I wasn't stressing out or worrying about anything. I just let it happen naturally.
Now I can see why people hate poofers so much, this is frustrating.
 
  Reply With Quote
BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #5  September 27,2010, 9:51am
BabyYoda's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2010

Inland Empire, CA

Posts: 2,989

See profile

What you did wrong(something I also did/do wrong) was ignore the signs of disinterest(on her part).

You should not have asked to hang out again to be quite honest. First, she was late and she contacted you right before the date. She could have informed you a lil earlier so the both of you can meet up at a later time. Next, she didn't seem to be enthusiastic in getting to know you by being inquisitive. She just seemed to be going with the flow answering your questions while silently judging you based on your questions. That is a sign of disinterest.

The end result is that she is ignoring you. Out of courtesy, she could have sent you a text or email or called you to inform you of her disinterest, but like someone else said, you will be hard pressed to find too many people who will do it, so a lot of times, you will have to figure it out(read minds) and form your own conclusion.

Although she was wrong for ignoring you/poofing, you have to take some responsibility and learn when someone is showing you interest or not. Yeah, sometimes, people are shy and may not have much to say, but at the same token, a person who is truely interested will show you through words AND actions. If the words doesn't match up with actions(body language), then there is an imbalance. Might be a cue to end it there and move on to another prospect.

I would simply delete the number and close out the profile(if you met her online).

B.Y.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  September 27,2010, 9:51am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

You don't have to do anything wrong in order for someone not to be interested in you enough to want to see you again. It's called no attraction, no chemistry.This is going to happen a lot so a thick skin and not taking things like that personally helps.

By the way, it was nice of you to attempt to escort her to her home, but seriously don't do that in the future. Whoever you are meeting is a grown woman who spends the rest of her life without you playing body guard. The whole idea of meeting you somewhere away from home is because she does not want you to know where she lives exactly at that point in time.
 
  Reply With Quote
pltkcelestial18 is offline pltkcelestial18 Post #7  September 27,2010, 9:59am
pltkcelestial…'s Avatar

is looking forward to the end.....of school.

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2010

Texas

Posts: 141

See profile

StPaulGirl wrote :
This is not a female only disease. Guys do it just as often.
I concur. I've had guys do it to me on a few occasions so it's not just a female thing.
 
  Reply With Quote
JeffB is offline JeffB Post #8  September 27,2010, 10:18am
JeffB's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 65

See profile

I'll add that the text on Sunday was the final nail in the coffin. It made you sound desperate and needy, no matter what was in the actual message. It's the weekend, she has a life and may not have been able to contact you right away. You may have actually had a chance since she responded to your text later that night too. Calling on Saturday, texting on Sunday, bad moves, I really think the 2-3 day rule after a first date is good, it gives the person time to really think about the date, you didn't give her that time. Now you're the desperate/needy guy, that she's hoping will just take the hint her not calling again is sending.
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #9  September 27,2010, 10:20am
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

RedPoet wrote :
, - I phone on Saturday afternoon on the same cell number that she had given me. I get a voicemail recording and leave a message. No response for the whole day.
- I texted her on Sunday, asking her if she got my message from Saturday. No response for the whole day.
I agree with what everyone else said, but with add this. Just be careful, too much communicating can be a turn-off for someone as well. I am with ya on the 3 day rule (all rules are dumb) but following up with a text did you get my message can be seen as being overeager or needy. I understand she didn't respond to your vm for a whole day, sometimes you just got to give someone time to respond.

just my 0.02.
 
  Reply With Quote
ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #10  September 27,2010, 10:27am
ISearch4Love's Avatar

I'd rather love someone I can't have than have someone I can't love.

Sage

Joined: Aug 2010

Ohio

Posts: 12,591

See profile

WA_hiker wrote :
Probably you did nothing wrong. Just the usual "she's not that into you" situation. Most girls will never reply, just ignore you.
This just recently happened to me. Not sure why someone can't be mature enough to at least tell you they changed their mind.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« once a cheater, always a cheater??? | Dating | Dating Advice - Long »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Advice needed - match just poofed (I think!) CH2010 Using eHarmony 20 August 6,2010 3:04pm
Poofed! Gone! Fell off the face of the earth! Sawyer76 Dating 31 May 20,2010 7:23pm
Poofed... Careless_Memories Ask a Dating Expert 22 January 30,2010 1:17am
He poofed and now he's back... wth?! redevil999 Using eHarmony 11 January 24,2010 4:38pm
did my mom get poofed??? kat5560 Dating 12 June 1,2009 5:40am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:00am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0