CharlieKate is offline CharlieKate Post #1  September 26,2010, 8:43pm
CharlieKate's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 5

See profile

I have been on EH for 3 months. This is my first experience with online dating. I have been matched with a guy and we proceeded to the final stage of communication within a few days. We are now 5 weeks in and talk on the phone once a week and text about once or twice a week. When we talk, it just flows really well. However, there has been no move to meet. We live about 3 hours apart but I have been pretty open to letting him know I travel often. This last week, there was no communication from him and I sent him a text just to check in with him and the texts have started up again. What should I be expecting at this point? I have no experience with on-line dating. There is just such a difference than meeting outright. Should I just be more patient? I have continued to talk with others that I have been matched with. I would appreciate any advice.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #2  September 26,2010, 8:50pm
Dropdeadredtx's Avatar

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,635

See profile

As a general rule, 5 weeks is a fairly long time not to meet; taking the distance into consideration, it's still a long time to not be planning a meeting. Unfortunately it is easy for these LD matches to slip complacently into the friend/penpal zone.
Bring it up! Say, very casually but very clearly, that you have some time in your schedule on such-and-such days, and would love to finally meet. Either he is interested and will move forward with plans, or he will be wishy-washy and will not express clear interest, and you can let this one go.
Welcome, and best wishes!
 
  Reply With Quote
Avalon1k is offline Avalon1k Post #3  September 26,2010, 11:04pm
Avalon1k's Avatar

I live for little moments when she steals my heart again...

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2009

Hawaii

Posts: 1,900

See profile

You might try skype if you both have webcams. I think your level of communication is pretty low as it is. There is nothing wrong with being friends until you actually meet.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  September 27,2010, 2:01am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,303

See profile

He is probably also communicating with others and hoping for something more local.
CharlieKate wrote :
However, there has been no move to meet. We live about 3 hours apart but I have been pretty open to letting him know I travel often. This last week, there was no communication from him and I sent him a text just to check in with him and the texts have started up again.
I have continued to talk with others that I have been matched with. I would appreciate any advice.
 
  Reply With Quote
angloaustralian is offline angloaustralian Post #5  September 27,2010, 2:40am
angloaustrali…'s Avatar

is waiting for the rain

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2010

Posts: 475

See profile

Post # 460

Since you are talking on the telephone regularly, you could bring it up. You know, "I'm wondering when we are going to meet ?".
 
  Reply With Quote
ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #6  September 27,2010, 3:42am
ISearch4Love's Avatar

I'd rather love someone I can't have than have someone I can't love.

Sage

Joined: Aug 2010

Ohio

Posts: 12,591

See profile

I think you should initiate meeting in person if they are not doing it. Meeting in person could really change the way things go for you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  September 27,2010, 5:55am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I wish people would get over this idea that online dating sites make dating somehow different. An online dating site is nothing more than a method of introduction. In actuality you know more about the person before saying the first "hi" than if you met someone on the street (bar, club, wherever).

Being 3 hours away is a bit of a distance but certainly not the type of distance where it takes a great deal of planning to meet. And if there is somewhere half way between to meet then it becomes even easier. E-mailing and talking on the phone for 5 weeks is too long IMO. I like to meet about a week after getting to Open Communication.

Since you say you travel quite a bit, the next time that you are going to be in or near his city say "I am going to be in your area on (day) let's meet for dinner." If he accepts good, if not just move on as he is not at all interested in anything more than a pen pal.
 
  Reply With Quote
CharlieKate is offline CharlieKate Post #8  October 1,2010, 12:04am
CharlieKate's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 5

See profile

Thanks everyone for the advice. I listened and went ahead and brought up meeting. He said he was also thinking about setting up a meeting. We are getting together this weekend for dinner. We will see how it goes. I agree with the member who said 5 weeks is too long to communicate. I will say that the time diminishes the excitement. However, I am glad to finally meet him. Thanks again
 
  Reply With Quote
Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #9  October 1,2010, 7:59am
Dropdeadredtx's Avatar

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,635

See profile

Hope it goes great and you have a blast! Keep us posted!
 
  Reply With Quote
CharlieKate is offline CharlieKate Post #10  October 5,2010, 9:15pm
CharlieKate's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 5

See profile

We had our first meeting on Saturday. I was running a little late and texted him for updates until I got there. There was no response from him until the last text saying he had just got there, as well. Hmm. I parked and met him in the front and he gave me a big smile and it was all uphill from there. We talked and laughed about everything from sports, to Seinfeld, to family and stupid decisions we made in college. LOL After two hours, the resturant was practically kicking us out. We walked out and it was raining so it felt rushed. We both agreed we had a good time and should meet again. He said this was a really bad month for him due to family engagements but that we would set aside time for each other. I left and have not heard from him since. He didn't text to see if I got home. I had a 2 hour drive. He was under the impression that I had plans after our meeting but it has been 3 days since then. Overall, I think it went well and we will see if anything comes from it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Is there anything going on here? | Dating | "Scaredy Cat" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Friday Night Newbie Sock Hop! AndieIsMe Dating 46 August 13,2010 7:45pm
Dating newbie needs help! :-) TSN419 Dating 19 April 6,2010 2:33pm
Saturdat Night Roll Call - Newbie Edition !!! D_Lion Dating 163 March 22,2010 7:13am
newbie David3366 Ask a Dating Expert 5 February 24,2010 4:27pm
Assessing the Newbie Dater LavenderFields Dating 42 December 6,2009 11:09pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:00am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0