rdnck is offline rdnck Post #1  September 26,2010, 7:40am
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A questions for the ladies. Do you perfer communication through texting or an old fashioned phone call? I am finding alot of women seem to perfer to text before talking on the phone. Is this just a way to get thier feet wet with out the fear of giving out their number? I realize texting is alot cheaper for many but you can not add much emotion into a text. I know I can connect with someone much better if I can hear her voice.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #2  September 26,2010, 7:46am
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Either way you need their phone number to communicate. Personally, I like texting first and then moving to a phone call, but everyone is different so you should ask what her preferred method is and go from there.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  September 26,2010, 8:06am
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rdnck wrote :
A questions for the ladies. Do you perfer communication through texting or an old fashioned phone call? I am finding alot of women seem to perfer to text before talking on the phone. Is this just a way to get thier feet wet with out the fear of giving out their number? I realize texting is alot cheaper for many but you can not add much emotion into a text. I know I can connect with someone much better if I can hear her voice.
Are you giving out your number first asking them to call you?

I don't understand your comment on fear of giving out their number. Don't you have their number if you're texting?
Last edited by TrekRyder10; September 26,2010 at 8:13am.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  September 26,2010, 8:36am
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rdnck wrote :
A questions for the ladies. Do you perfer communication through texting or an old fashioned phone call? I am finding alot of women seem to perfer to text before talking on the phone. Is this just a way to get thier feet wet with out the fear of giving out their number? I realize texting is alot cheaper for many but you can not add much emotion into a text. I know I can connect with someone much better if I can hear her voice.
What is your goal?

Some people think you need to email extensively to "get to know" the person. But what he/she writes may be totally different from how he/she really "is".

Some people think that a phone call is required. That hearing the voice will ease many concerns and allow you to truly "get to know" the person. Only to discover within 30 seconds of meeting, that there is no attraction at all, and all the phone time was wasted time.

So again - what is your goal?

I genuinely believe that the only true way to "get to know" someone is to meet them. I always open OC with a very short message that includes the statement that I look forward to meeting. Not "what are you doing tomorrow", mind you - just a statement of my general intention. The match is free to agree or disagree. And you know what? Every match replies to say yes, I'd like to meet. And within another message or two, the meeting is arranged. We haven't wasted all our good "get to know you" questions through texting or phone calls, so the meetings are always interesting... even if there's no "spark" or whatever. I would ignore any requests for lengthy email exchanges, texts, or phone calls. But you know what? It has never happened.

So show some initiative. Take charge in a subtle way. Don't waste time and brain cycles on phone calls and texts.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  September 26,2010, 8:36am
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Texting is a poor excuse for real communication.

Personally I don't like to talk on the phone so I prefer e-mail and meeting in person.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  September 26,2010, 8:48am
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If you read a few threads on here, you will see that texting has been the downfall of many a potential match - it leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings, worries about levels of communication frequency, etc.
Texting is great for the "Hey, traffic is backed up all the way to the Beltway and I am running late", or "I'm at the restaurant - see you inside" type of communique. But that's it, until you know each other well enough to rely on 7 word sound bites to accurately convey your thoughts.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  September 26,2010, 9:02am
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I recommend you pick up the phone. I will not meet with a Match until I speak with him. It saves a lot of time and disappointment, if I don't like the sound of his voice or he has poor grammer, or it's clear we have different lifestyles, there's no point in meeting and we move on. You can tell a lot from a phone call. Texting can create misunderstandings. People read and interpret things differently.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  September 26,2010, 9:06am
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Alli824 wrote :
.... or he has poor grammer, ...
Yeah....I'm with you on the grammar thing.
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #9  September 26,2010, 9:07am
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Yeah, texting is fine for little things- I even like an occasional "good morning" or "just saying hi" kind of text - but if it turns into text after text, just pick up the phone!

I had to add a text plan to my phone after I met a match that texted ALL of time - and added $30.00 to my phone bill one month!
 
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liquid_steel is offline liquid_steel Post #10  September 26,2010, 9:39am

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rdnck wrote :
A questions for the ladies. Do you perfer communication through texting or an old fashioned phone call? I am finding alot of women seem to perfer to text before talking on the phone. Is this just a way to get thier feet wet with out the fear of giving out their number? I realize texting is alot cheaper for many but you can not add much emotion into a text. I know I can connect with someone much better if I can hear her voice.
Likely, you connect with a woman much better when you hear her voice because, well, a voice is something you can connect with...a text is NOT.

Why? Becaue everyone's text appears precisely the same, but voices vary greatly. As unique as a fingerprint (which is why the voice can be used as a "log in" ID through even the toughest security systems), a voice offers more dimension to communication of which text lacks entirely. For example, while listening to a voice, you register pace, inflection, pauses, tone, pitch, texture, volume, even mood.

The amount of information you gather from 20 seconds of voice is exponential to that of text, so phone calls actually save more time!

Another bonus to the scheduled phone call? You truly connect because you both are attending to each other at precisely the same moment (unlike text which may be recieved at terribly inopportune times, such as duirng a client meeting, taking a left-hand turn at an intersection, or in middle of a much needed nap).

I find text such a miserably poor communication tool (for something as important as dating) that I no longer have the service (and I own an iPod). Because text strips away some of the most valuable aspects of communication, it often causes more misunderstandings than any other medium. (Take a close look at these eHarmony posts and you'll lose count of the number of problems involving text and IM).

Next, ask youself, "Do I wish to attract someone or annoy them to get their attention?"

If your goal is to annoy someone, seek their attention at an inopportune time, i.e., text them. Think I'm exaggerating? I challenge you to start watch people's faces as they recieve a text: how often do you see them light up with pleasure and how often do you see them blink or grimace with irritation, an expression typically associated with one swatting gnats or mosquitos?

Because anyone can send a text (including spammers and marketing guerillas), text loses its appeal. Did you know that you cannot block someone...ANYONE from texting you? (Call your service and ask them to block spammers; their answers are enlightenting). Currently, there is no way to protect yourself from recieving a gazillion text messages; but you CAN filter phone calls -- which is why more and more people are dropping their text messaging services.

You get the idea.

Besides, do you REALLY want to pursue a relationship with someone who prefers the quicky-text over the pleasure of connecting with you and hearing your voice? Isn't it wonderful to hear a woman say, "I'm really looking forward to hearing your voice!"
 
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