kreg85 is offline kreg85 Post #1  September 23,2010, 1:07pm
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Need quick advice... Met 2 gals on line who I am attracted to. One I have gone out with on A date and the other one planning to soon. The problem is gal I went on date with is somewhat distant. I have to initiate all text msgs and phone calls. When we do talk on phone it's pleasant. Other gal who I've been talking with texts me on her own without me texting first - we talk and text back and forth regularly. I work weird hours out of town on many weekends and so dating time is limited to me. Hence they both want to go out Friday night on a date - should I cancel on gal who I have already gone out with on one date and to me seems mildly intersted or persue the other gal who seems genuinely interested in me. I feel like the first gal is making me do all the work... I am not a "player" and don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Going out with second girl is not adoption on Saturday before someone suggests it and it may be a week or two before I can take her out unless I xcl with first gal.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #2  September 23,2010, 1:11pm
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Can you push Girl #1's date to Saturday?
Last edited by chimerical; September 23,2010 at 1:12pm. Reason: Not "cancelling," but "rescheduling"?
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #3  September 23,2010, 1:13pm
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kreg85 wrote :
Need quick advice... Met 2 gals on line who I am attracted to. One I have gone out with on A date and the other one planning to soon. The problem is gal I went on date with is somewhat distant. I have to initiate all text msgs and phone calls. When we do talk on phone it's pleasant. Other gal who I've been talking with texts me on her own without me texting first - we talk and text back and forth regularly. I work weird hours out of town on many weekends and so dating time is limited to me. Hence they both want to go out Friday night on a date - should I cancel on gal who I have already gone out with on one date and to me seems mildly intersted or persue the other gal who seems genuinely interested in me. I feel like the first gal is making me do all the work... I am not a "player" and don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Going out with second girl is not adoption on Saturday before someone suggests it and it may be a week or two before I can take her out unless I xcl with first gal.
From a woman's point of view I wouldn't cancel on gal #1, what's the rush with #2? Just see her in 2 weeks.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #4  September 23,2010, 1:15pm
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The problem is, the girl who seems genuinely interested doesn't know you yet. She may well dump you after the first date (or halfway through the first date!) She doesn't really know if she likes you yet, because she hasn't met you. (Girl #2)

The other girl probably doesn't know yet either. The "distance" could be because she doesn't like you, or it could just be her communication style--you don't know. (Girl #1)

Try to handle this without burning any bridges. I'd arrange to see Girl #2 this Friday, if you can reschedule with Girl #1 for Saturday, or earlier in the day Friday, or Sunday, or whatever. If your schedule isn't that flexible, you'll just have to put off Girl #2 till next week (or whenever).

Edit: To clarify, my money's on Girl #1 not really liking you, that's why I say reschedule with her if you can do it without burning bridges... A few weeks can be pretty long to wait to meet someone, imo.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #5  September 23,2010, 1:22pm
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Just my personal opinion, I would go with gal #2, but ONLY because you've already met gal #1, and you clearly like both... so putting a second meet off because your busy shouldn't be too much of a problem for gal #1. I think giving gal #2 a first meet asap could help, especially since she's shown interest in you herself

With that said, I wouldn't put the "distant" thing against gal #1 just yet. It might be her style (or it might be that she's not interested, WHO KNOWS!). You'd have to give it more time to find out, and I see no reason why canceling a second meet should ruin things.

On the plus side, you'd have met both of them then, which would put them both on equal footing, and you can decide which one you'd want to pursue, since apparently you don't have enough free time to pursue both. I'd try and pursue both myself until I know for sure which one I like better... Then again I have a lot of free time myself
Last edited by Harryoss; September 23,2010 at 1:25pm.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #6  September 23,2010, 1:35pm
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I will quote Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in this one.

You must choose, but choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.

Yeah, i'm a geek.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  September 23,2010, 1:39pm
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kreg85 wrote :
Need quick advice... Met 2 gals on line who I am attracted to. One I have gone out with on A date and the other one planning to soon. The problem is gal I went on date with is somewhat distant. I have to initiate all text msgs and phone calls. When we do talk on phone it's pleasant. Other gal who I've been talking with texts me on her own without me texting first - we talk and text back and forth regularly. I work weird hours out of town on many weekends and so dating time is limited to me. Hence they both want to go out Friday night on a date - should I cancel on gal who I have already gone out with on one date and to me seems mildly intersted or persue the other gal who seems genuinely interested in me. I feel like the first gal is making me do all the work... I am not a "player" and don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Going out with second girl is not adoption on Saturday before someone suggests it and it may be a week or two before I can take her out unless I xcl with first gal.
So the question is, which one to go out with?
The one who really seems interested or the one who's just so-so?

what to do...what to do...
go out with #2 and then tell the #1 all about it...
 
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GentleDoc is offline GentleDoc Post #8  September 23,2010, 1:46pm
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I scanned this on the quick side, but all I've seen you say about contestant #1 is the word "pleasant." And, that was on the phone. And, you feel like you do all the work. In and of itself, is that enough reason to continue to have any interest in her?

At this rate, you like #2 better (the way I see it).

Is there a reason to continue w/ #1? Really?

I'd base my decisions on the above questions. If you want to leave the door open for both, then yes, see if you can delay meeting #2.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #9  September 23,2010, 1:55pm
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Dafearon wrote :
I will quote Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in this one.

You must choose, but choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.

Yeah, i'm a geek.
Well said.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #10  September 24,2010, 4:11am
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Personally I'd be more likely to work on the one that seems more interested. This may hurt your chanced with the other one but I've had too many matched that just didn't seem interested and therefor never ended up going anywhere I'd be more afraid of hurting the chances I had with the one that seems like it "might" go somewhere.
 
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