annother is offline annother Post #1  September 23,2010, 5:45am
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I just got an email from my sister in California who had contacted her daughter in Nashville to hook me up with a friend of the daughter! She sent his email with a note "Larry would love to meet you." Now I don't know what to do about it.

I have the email address of a man I've never met and know nothing about, and who lives in the wrong part of the continent (although we are sometimes both in the Bay area). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I generally do quite a bit of reading about a person and communicating with them before I suggest meeting.

What is the best way to handle this?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  September 23,2010, 6:03am
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Talk to your friend or more correctly the daughter and find out more about him and this in general and what exactly should you be doing with this info. For instance, did she already talk to him and he is now expecting to hear from you?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  September 23,2010, 6:05am
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Tell your sister to tell Larry she misspoke...
It's not up to you to be the cleaner for someone else's screw ups.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  September 23,2010, 7:14am
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Family match-makers? Just don't respond to Larry since you have no way of knowing if "he'd love to meet you", unless it intrigues you to just drop a line to say "Hi, my niece sent me your email address"
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  September 23,2010, 10:02am
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I'd ask why they thought of matching you up with him. Is it possible they have a really good reason?

If it's just that, well, you're both single, then I'd pass. And let them tell Larry.

But if it's something like "Larry and you have a ton in common; he's moving to where you are; he's the nicest man I've ever known etc." ... perhaps view him just like an EH long distance match?

(Caveat: I've only had 3 blind dates, they were complete mismatches. Friends can do some amazingly dumb things!)
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 23,2010, 10:26am
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Did you suggest to your sister that you wanted her to hook you up with anyone?
 
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annother is offline annother Post #7  September 23,2010, 12:08pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Did you suggest to your sister that you wanted her to hook you up with anyone?
No, not at all. This came out of the blue.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #8  September 23,2010, 4:20pm

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What do you want to do Annother? Do you think you are interested in at least seeing if you are interested in him?

If yes, then I would just send an email introducing your connection to him and that you heard he may be relocating near you and that you would be happy to answer any questions he has about the area.

And if he responds then you guys can start communicating way before you have the possibility to meet so you could take your time like you are comfortable with.

It may be a perfect opportunity for you and how you prefer to get to know someone but I guess you need to figure out if you are interested in sending a communication.

And I agree with Sass, set-ups by friends are not always the best things in the world. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if my friend's really know me. lol!
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #9  September 23,2010, 6:06pm
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annother wrote :
I just got an email from my sister in California who had contacted her daughter in Nashville to hook me up with a friend of the daughter! She sent his email with a note "Larry would love to meet you." Now I don't know what to do about it.

I have the email address of a man I've never met and know nothing about, and who lives in the wrong part of the continent (although we are sometimes both in the Bay area). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I generally do quite a bit of reading about a person and communicating with them before I suggest meeting.

What is the best way to handle this?
Dear Annother,

There's many ways of handling this and probably most of them would be fine.

One way might be to email your sister and your niece - who surely love you and are trying, in their way, to look out for your best interests - something like the following:

Dear _________________,

I was so surprised to get your emails - especially hooking me on with the email address of your friend, Larry, who you wrote would love to meet me.

Gosh, I'm at somewhat of a loss here as this is so unexpected and I know nothing about Larry and would feel uncomfortable emailing him out of the blue.

You see, I generally do quite a bit of reading about the person and then email back and forth with them for a good bit before meeting with the person.

You all mean well, I know that, but from my perspective I find it awkward and not the way I like to proceed.

And then go on and let them know if you'd like them to tell you more about Larry and tell Larry more about you or not.

Finish the email to them depending on the way you'd like it to go.

If you'd rather not email Larry, then just mention that to them nicely. If you'd like Larry to email you and tell you about himself, then mention that.

After that, simply thank them for their love and concern and then sign off. You don't owe them anything more.

As a side note, let me mention a story of a friend of mine who was a young widow. Her husband had passed away four days after Christmas at the age of 31 (she was 29) in the night of a heart problem that no one knew he had.

He had served in the first Gulf War and even the military missed it.

He left behind his wife, a 3-yr. old and 1-yr. old. She formed a widow's support group that grew to be over 100 and involved herself in many activities.

Years went by and then six months after her 36th birthday, four of her friends introduced her to a widower who was ten years older and the father of 3 kids.

A year to the date they met, they married and are now a happy family of seven!

I, and two co-hostesses threw a bridal shower for her (she invited 50 guests) and it was such a glorious event to celebrate this widow and widower meeting, falling in love, and getting married . . . all because of four friends who knew them both and brought them together!

On top of that, I had another friend who was mutual friends with me with yet another widow. This friend introduced our mutual friend to a man she knew and about a year later, they too married on the very same day the couple above married - though it was not coordinated and neither knew what the other's date was. The widow in the story above also knew the widow in this story! Small world!

Two examples of couples that worked out that were matched by friends. One never knows . . . .

Yet another story I read years ago. Cindy Crawford met her future husband, Randy Gerbe, also through friends that arranged a dinner party where they met and melded - so to speak - over making chocolate-chip cookies together (or so the story went).

I've known lots and lots of people who met and married through friends.

Wishing you well. Write and let us know how you're doing.

JavaJava5
Last edited by javajava5; September 23,2010 at 6:17pm.
 
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KISS_keepitsimplesam is offline KISS_keepitsimplesam Post #10  September 24,2010, 1:28pm
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This one is an easy one. You send him a short and sweet email that goes something like this........."Hi, Joe. I don't usually write to strangers, but then again, I don't usually get family members trying to play match maker either (LOL)..............blah blah blah. If he's interested, he'll write back. If he doesn't write back, then you're off the hook all the way around. Sounds like a plan to me. Good luck!
 
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