bahama_mamma76 is offline bahama_mamma76 Post #1  September 22,2010, 8:16pm

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I've been corresponding with someone very briefly, just a few emails and a few texts. Not even really enough to get to know him at all. Tonight, around 11:45 p.m., he texts me and asks me to go to dinner and a concert with him tomorrow evening at 5:00. I told him I would have to take a rain check because I generally work until after 6:00 p.m. He then told me to ask off work early, to which I responded that had I known earlier today, I maybe could have arranged something, but now it was too late. He got a bit huffy with me and told me to "have fun" and to "have a good night."

Was I unreasonable? I mean, certainly, he would have to understand that I can't change my work hours at a moment's notice, right?
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  September 22,2010, 8:25pm
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I don't think you were unreasonable, but I think if you had put in a little "effort" and made this little sacrifice to meet him it may have paid off. He would see that you will try. Maybe next time tell him you will "ask your boss" even if you don't have to, or have no intention to.

Hey, at least it wasn't an invite to tour Walmart's parking lot while being surveyed by his friends who drive up to scope you out.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  September 22,2010, 8:34pm

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bahama mamma has the best dating stories.

and no, you aren't unreasonable- he was.
 
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luminosity is offline luminosity Post #4  September 22,2010, 8:54pm
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I don't think you were unreasonable at all.
These "tantrums" really seperate the boys from the men eh?!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  September 22,2010, 10:39pm
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No, not unreasonable.

Were you otherwise enthusiastic? except that you couldn't go, of course? Like: "oh that would have been so great! so much fun... thanks for asking! I'm sorry I can't go; I have to have a couple days notice to change my work schedule. Next time, eh?"

The only way I could reasonably see him being huffy is if you were huffy first! lol.
 
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pltkcelestial18 is offline pltkcelestial18 Post #6  September 22,2010, 10:45pm
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I don't think you were being unreasonable. I think maybe he was being a little unreasonable to expect you to just ask to leave early unexpectedly. To his defense, while I don't know how you two had been interacting, but if you both had otherwise shown genuine interest in each other, then maybe he was just being huffy because he wanted to get to know you better in person.
Last edited by pltkcelestial18; September 22,2010 at 10:56pm. Reason: clean up grammar/spelling
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #7  September 23,2010, 2:48am
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He was definitely the one being unreasonable. What a drama queen...
 
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Not2grownup is offline Not2grownup Post #8  September 23,2010, 2:59am
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You weren't being unreasonable. However, at the risk of defending another male, I will say the following:

With out believing he had ant alterior motives, and assuming he honestly just wanted you to join him in something nice. Perhaps from the get go you might have responded with something a bit more diplomatic. "Maybe next time tell him you will "ask your boss" even if you don't have to, or have no intention to." from AndieIsme is a great response for this. It allows you to politely bow out from a potential obligation if you aren't ready/able, and it doesn't send a potentially mixed message about your priorities (what ever they may be). Him getting huffy over it doesn't sound good though, given not only the late notice of the event, but also his insistence that you forgo a business obligation (i.e. doing your job as scheduled) would have me slightly concerned about his maturity.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  September 23,2010, 3:13am

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He was being unreasonable and rude. Who texts strangers at 11:45PM?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  September 23,2010, 3:20am
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bahama_mamma76 wrote :
I've been corresponding with someone very briefly, just a few emails and a few texts. Not even really enough to get to know him at all. Tonight, around 11:45 p.m., he texts me and asks me to go to dinner and a concert with him tomorrow evening at 5:00. I told him I would have to take a rain check because I generally work until after 6:00 p.m. He then told me to ask off work early, to which I responded that had I known earlier today, I maybe could have arranged something, but now it was too late. He got a bit huffy with me and told me to "have fun" and to "have a good night."

Was I unreasonable? I mean, certainly, he would have to understand that I can't change my work hours at a moment's notice, right?
No, not unreasonable...but..
Depending on your interest level you could have re-phrased it, "I can try but can't promise you anything..unless its an emergency, my boss requires at least a full day's notice in order to leave early."
Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it.
 
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