advice on dating policies at work


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Phantom_Rose is offline Phantom_Rose Post #1  September 20,2010, 6:43pm
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A couple of weeks ago I met a guy that I like & he likes me als so this past weekend I invited him to a social event for work that I organized for the clients of the agency that I work for & when I showed the pictures to my co-workers today my boss said that he would have to fill out our intake form since he attended the event & he was recieving services from us. There is a policy at work that states that employees & clients can't become involved in romantic relationships even if they aren't on my case-load. My concern is if he beocmes a client how do I address the situation since we really like each other & knew each other for several weeks before he came to the social event that I organized for the agency.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #2  September 20,2010, 7:05pm
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Hey Rose,

Tough situation. I don't know that you can do anything about it because it is a company rule, and in general it's been a longstanding thing that people shouldn't get involved with clients (either directly, or with clients of the business even if it's not a direct client).

Goes to a lot of potential liability/legal ramifications down the road (where somebody not involved or involved can claim "prejudicial treatment" or "special treatment").

Most likely either this person can never become a client of the business or you wil have to not be with the organization any longer.

So wierd.. I just read an article about how extensive and serious legal ramifications have become in this area. Do you know that people in an office have sued the company not because they were prejudiced against or had a romance with somebody, but because they said the "emtional suffering" they had to endure bucase of others around them having a relationship and it being brought to work ~ that they sued the company for damages? and the crazy thing is.. the courts are SIDING WITH THEM????

So this is serious business these days. You may not be able to do anything bout it (especially because it's a client)

Richey
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  September 20,2010, 7:08pm
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Phantom_Rose wrote :
A couple of weeks ago I met a guy that I like & he likes me als so this past weekend I invited him to a social event for work that I organized for the clients of the agency that I work for & when I showed the pictures to my co-workers today my boss said that he would have to fill out our intake form since he attended the event & he was recieving services from us. There is a policy at work that states that employees & clients can't become involved in romantic relationships even if they aren't on my case-load. My concern is if he beocmes a client how do I address the situation since we really like each other & knew each other for several weeks before he came to the social event that I organized for the agency.
What are the possible consequences if you ignore company policy?
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  September 20,2010, 7:21pm
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So, let me get this straight, this social work event, is really just a marketing event for your company to sign on new clients? So, this guy you like, how likely is he going to use your firm's services?
 
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Phantom_Rose is offline Phantom_Rose Post #5  September 20,2010, 7:51pm
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actually, our agency provides services to disabled people & the event was a social/recreational outing for clients that were already recieving services from us & I just invited the guy that I like because the clients that were coming to the outing are also friends of mine. The thing is I met this guy like two weeks ago & since he attended the social event according to my boss he needs to fill out the intake form so he can recieve services from the agency. Possible consequences for disobeying policies at work range from write-ups to termination. I hadn't even considered referring him to our agency b/c of this policiy but b/c of this mess I'm also not gonna be able to invite him to any more social events.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #6  September 20,2010, 9:13pm
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I think you should respect your company's dating policy. It is for your protection as much as your interest's and the company. It is simply a conflict of interest. If anything goes bad, then it could cost your company revenue as well as affect your performance/productivity.
Ultimately, it is your choice, so do what you feel is best. You could always tell your interest to keep the relationship a secret. But, doing that could backfire as well.

Tough decision for you. I wish you luck.

B.Y.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #7  September 20,2010, 9:51pm
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I don't understand why your boss says he has to "fill out the intake form so he can be a client", if he came to a social event. I wonder if the event was not social, but was really a gathering to woo clients?

If so, perhaps you did not understand the nature of that event?

You really need to be clear that if you break work policies, you are risking getting fired.
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #8  September 20,2010, 10:35pm
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Phantom_Rose wrote :
actually, our agency provides services to disabled people & the event was a social/recreational outing for clients that were already recieving services from us & I just invited the guy that I like because the clients that were coming to the outing are also friends of mine. The thing is I met this guy like two weeks ago & since he attended the social event according to my boss he needs to fill out the intake form so he can recieve services from the agency. Possible consequences for disobeying policies at work range from write-ups to termination. I hadn't even considered referring him to our agency b/c of this policiy but b/c of this mess I'm also not gonna be able to invite him to any more social events.
Dear Rose,

Some questions:

1. Is this gentleman also disabled?

2. Has he been receiving services through your agency and / or talked about getting services through your agency?

3. Did you meet him through the agency or through a client of the agency?

4. If he's not disabled, then how would he be eligible for your agencies' services?

5. What if HE doesn't want to sign up for services or be a client?

Yes, it's very wise NOT to invite him again to anything whatsoever having to do with work.

Remember, too, that even though some of the people at the event are your friends, they are also clients of the agency and must be treated professionally at all times.

Sometimes, differences can arise between friends and if this were to happen, you would not want one of these people to jeopardize your job. Be very, very careful. Do not talk about one client to another - not that you would. Be very professional at ALL times.

If your boss insists on your following through with the intake form, you can tell him that the person isn't eligible for your agencies' services (if this is indeed the case) and / or that he declined to fill out the form as he's not seeking services (if this is the case).

Of course, you must always be truthful.

In the future, don't mix work with your social life as it can backfire on you as you've seen.

It was innocent until your boss made it into something more. This is how innocent people get burned so please be forwarned from now on.

Write and let us know how you're doing.

JavaJava5
 
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Bijou13 is offline Bijou13 Post #9  September 20,2010, 10:39pm
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Don't you just love office politics and policies.

I would contact your HR department and have them clarify protocol. Explain that because this event was a "social event" you invited friends and a date. Ask if it is required he fill out the form when he was there to support you, not find services as a potential client. I'm pretty sure the HR dept will back you up; then document in chronological order who/what/when/where/why in your files, in case this ever comes back up.

Often times, it is the employees that gray the lines of interoffice dating but I think the company is doing it this time. You knew the guy first and invited him, he was not looking for assistance.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 21,2010, 7:13am
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The post seemed clear to me until I read what the others posted.

General rules of thumb:
1) Never date someone you work with.
2) Never date clients, suppliers, etc. that you meet through your work place.

When a company begins to tell me who I can have as friends and date and they do not fit either category above it is time that I begin looking for a new job.
 
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