Rules for dealing with THE RULES. Advice needed.


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jgy60a is offline jgy60a Post #1  September 19,2010, 7:24pm
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As a guy, how do I know if a woman is just doing THE RULES, or just isn't that into me?

If both people aren't calling each other because they're waiting for the other one to call first, we're not going to get very far. Duh!
 
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astro42 is offline astro42 Post #2  September 19,2010, 7:26pm
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THE RULES are made to be broken.

Break them.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  September 19,2010, 7:55pm
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jgy, you won't really "know" if a woman is using "The Rules" as her handbook or if she is really just a person that handles her love life that way.

You say "If both people aren't calling"... why can't you call? Yes, she needs to show some interest, too. But, depending on her upbringing, she may have been taught that the guys are required to do most of the pursuing.

FYI, there are a few good things in that book. But most of it is worthless bunk.
 
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jgy60a is offline jgy60a Post #4  September 19,2010, 8:03pm
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I'm the OP.

Oh, I could call, and do, but if I call too much, then I'd come across as needy/clingy.

I asked a woman who uses THE RULES about this situation where the relationship never gets off the ground because each person is waiting for the other to make all the moves, and she just said, "Gee, I never thought about that". Then she giggled. (Oh, that's helpful...)
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  September 19,2010, 8:33pm
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jgy60a wrote :
I'm the OP.

I'm confused as to why you posted this. Did you think I was addressing astro?
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  September 19,2010, 10:21pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I'm confused as to why you posted this. Did you think I was addressing astro?
No, I think he may be used to anonymous posting or something. He was just announcing himself.

OP, just call when you want, for the most part. The only "rule" I think is reasonable is not to call more than once or twice if your calls start being avoided. That seems stalkerish. (So if she never picks up the phone and never calls you back, then yes--it's time to stop calling.)
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  September 19,2010, 10:47pm
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Ah yes, I've read that book "The Rules".
It's very manipulative.

I sort of look at it like this...
If she displays tactics e.g. returns phone calls late; displays a nonchalant, indifferent, contrived aloofness; doesn't initiate text or calls etc. What sort of frame does that present?

Either she's manipulative or she's a lazy lover.

I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who is manipulative, that's just not healthy; nor do I want to get involved with a lazy lover either. I find enthusiasm, passion and initiative attractive. I don't want to chase/date/ or have sex with someone who acts like their doing me a favor.

Would you?
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  September 20,2010, 6:04am

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jgy60a wrote :
As a guy, how do I know if a woman is just doing THE RULES, or just isn't that into me?

If both people aren't calling each other because they're waiting for the other one to call first, we're not going to get very far. Duh!

I am not sure why you would care either way. If she is not into you then you wouldn't want to date her. If she would read that book and take it as gospel would you really want to date her.

Maybe it is just how I look at things but I would much rather be dating someone who treats me the same way I treat them and that would be no games.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #9  September 20,2010, 5:03pm
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rules or no rules... my experience is this,,,, if theyre into ou and want to see you... theyl contat you. if they can play these games and sit back and not call... then the arent into you.

cuz humans are still humans no matter what rules there tryig to follow.
 
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