IRL Dating-How Do YOU Meet People?


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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #1  September 7,2010, 6:26pm

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Here it is almost fall again and it’s time for me to be back out in the public meeting men In Real Life (IRL). Fully 60% of my usual dates, when I’m looking for a date, come from IRL meets-and people here seem amazed at that. How do I do it? I’m surely not a hot young sweet chick-rather I’m a warm old slightly cranky broad but I do a few things that makes IRL dating possible. And if I can do it, so can the rest of you. Primarily though, I'm not afraid of taking a chance and talking to a stranger.

First-get out of the house and off your computer. My number one suggestion for meeting members of the opposite sex-especially women you lonely guys-is volunteering. A very large percentage of the volunteer corps is staffed by women of all ages. I volunteer at the local civic theatres and at the symphony hall. I not only staff the classics but broadway plays and rock concerts as well as sports events. Guys if you are middle aged and looking for outgoing women, become a volunteer at your local theatre. Many of the women are frustrated theatre arts women who volunteer to stay in the realm of theatre activities. These are truly fun women and most of them are single. In the past few years I have met and dated at least 10 real live men from the ticket holders and fellow volunteers at the symphony and theatres. Besides it’s fun and I get to see plays, hear classical and rock concerts and support the community for free.

My second favorite opportunity is college night classes. Guys-take travel overview classes-most of the people there are adventurous women. Women, take a shop class or computer or photography class to meet the men. Go over to your local college where night classes are held and peer into the classroom to judge the percentage of men to women in different classes. Then, next semester, take a class where the percentage is weighed in your favor.

I also belong to a couple of Meet Up groups. Single Malt Whisky is 90% men-and I even like single malt whisky. I have also taken a wine appreciation class that was primarily men and the Meet Up is heavily weighed to the men in my area-though most of them their in their 20s and 30s so thats a bit too young for me.

Again, drop in to Meet Up group meetings and see who attends. If you are political, this is a great time to join a Meet Up to support your candidate and meet like minded political oriented people. Besides it’s great fun.

OK there are a few of the things I do when I am looking for dates...and don’t forget-I met my current boyfriend at the local farmers market..where he worked hard to pick me up.

What can you suggest for new eHA members who are frustrated when it comes to meeting people IRL?
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  September 7,2010, 6:40pm
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I started saying "yes" more often to social invitations. My fallback position was previously "no" because of insecurities of various kinds, but I'm learning to justify my yes's instead of my no's.

I also volunteer at the Habitat for Humanity Restore. Lots of men my age go there and surprisingly many of them are single.
Last edited by annother; September 7,2010 at 6:42pm. Reason: Or, that might be yeses and noes, but that looks wrong.
 
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WhiteCrane is offline WhiteCrane Post #3  September 7,2010, 6:48pm
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Thank you for posting this! Great suggestions.

I've been consciously trying just to get out & do more plain old socializing, even with girlfriends. Even it it's not specifically a meet & greet, it's a great way to practice small talk, and you never know who has a single brother or cousin or something.

I've heard that photography clubs are great ways to meet men. Does anyone have experience with that? I've been thinking about it... if it seemed like a good prospect it might be worth springing for a reasonable camera.

My sister met her hubby at mixed-league curling. I've been to a few events at their club, checking out the local wildlife !! but no lucky hits.

Attending professional development events is also a reasonable bet for meeting people with similar interests. I find it's way easier to strike up conversations with strangers in work-oriented settings, because it's assumed that you're there to network.

I have a lot more trouble at singles events... I tend to feel like I'm, y'know, trying to cut one of them out of the herd or something & I feel much too self-conscious!
 
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WhiteCrane is offline WhiteCrane Post #4  September 7,2010, 6:51pm
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annother wrote :
I also volunteer at the Habitat for Humanity Restore. Lots of men my age go there and surprisingly many of them are single.
This is a good idea! Actually at least 2 - 3 of my matches have mentioned volunteering for Habitat for Humanity.

Other suggestions of volunteer activities that attract men?

(Arts & culture seems to attract mainly women... generally useless for meeting single men, too bad!!)
 
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astro42 is offline astro42 Post #5  September 7,2010, 7:14pm
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How do I meet IRL matches?

With a rag, some chloroform, and an unmarked white van.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #6  September 7,2010, 7:14pm
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I met the teller at the bank I held up the other day, she was purrdy!

All good ideas Roxy..
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #7  September 7,2010, 7:28pm
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astro42 wrote :
How do I meet IRL matches?

With a rag, some chloroform, and an unmarked white van.
Sounds like they generally fall for you right away, too!
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #8  September 7,2010, 7:29pm
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I was going to ask the same question - but from the guys' point of view -

Guys, where do you go to meet women, what kind of things do you try? And please, keep it G-rated!

I sort of figured that craft fairs and cat shows are out...
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  September 7,2010, 7:33pm

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WhiteCrane wrote :
I have a lot more trouble at singles events... I tend to feel like I'm, y'know, trying to cut one of them out of the herd or something & I feel much too self-conscious!
This was probably one of the funniest, truest things I have ever heard here. I loved this!!!

Real life is sooooo much better than edating just due to the innocent randomness of it - edating/single things feel artificial to me in a way and it really affects my like factor...by a lot!
 
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pammersw is offline pammersw Post #10  September 7,2010, 7:38pm
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Good topic, Roxy!

I like the idea of checking out the classes ahead of time and signing up for the ones with a lot of men. The first few years I lived here, I took a lot of classes -- computer & graphics stuff mostly. There were lots of guys in the classes, but you know what? All of them were married except one gay guy and two others young enough to be my kids. So obviously that didn't work out for me for meeting guys. I learned a lot, though!

Right now, a class might be tough to swing due to needing to be home most evenings for my son, but I'm thinking of taking up square dancing again. Most of the guys there will be married, but it's a fun activity and good exercise! And square dancers have single friends, too...maybe someone will set me up with their brother or cousin or something.

Next year, I'm thinking of trying a gym again. A new one opened up not that far from me, maybe 20 minutes away. Generally, gym workouts bore me (I prefer outside or actually doing something!), but if I am able to meet some people there, that would be a good thing.

Once my son gets into college in a couple of years, I am *Totally* volunteering to usher at Popejoy Hall at UNM (Albuquerque). Traveling Broadway shows and major concerts go on there...it would be a blast!

Everyone, keep the ideas coming!
Last edited by pammersw; September 7,2010 at 7:41pm. Reason: Add a real emoticon.
 
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