Dear Leafs_Girl,


When I first read your post, I had the initial thought that his talk about "hot bodies" might not mean that much but would depend on the circumstances. Then further down in your second post you mentioned you were talking about movies and favorite actors and actresses which puts it in a framework. Given that, I'd say that's typical of both guys and gals, though I'm careful not to do that but most do. It doesn't mean anything unless the person really seems to be obsessing about it which he was not doing from what you wrote.


Let's see, today's only Wednesday and you just met him for a first date this past weekend so not that much time has elapsed.


I like that you and he got to know each other over six weeks before even meeting - that's good. Also, you let him know early on you were a curvy girl, he handled it well, was open to dating someone out of his pattern, i.e., petite, which says good things about him.


Your date was three hours - a nice length of time for a first date plus you also talked outside too. He walked you to your car and you hugged. All good.


You then emailed a thank you - good - and he said it was a good time -yet againgood! There shore is a lot of good going on here!!!


Now here's your hard assignment: REFRAIN from asking him if you're "just friends." Definitely not a good idea. Yes, it is fun and exciting and you want to know your status. Don't fall into that trap. It backs a man into a corner and doesn't give him much maneuver room.


You've emailed, he's responded and the next move is up to him. Now here's the difficult part . . . . Maybe he will contact you again; maybe he won't. You really don't know and maybe he doesn't either - believe it or not!


People need different amounts of time to figure things out sometimes. Let him have space- that's the only wise and prudent thing to do. As hard as it is, exercise restraint. Yes, I know it 's really hard, but girls that can do this have more success with men than those who don't.


You see, you have good self-esteem, you're not needy, you have interests outside of him, you have many things you could add to his life as a person of high value and worth, and it's his loss if he chooses not to contact you again.


This will be hard, but truly be busy about your own life and really work to not think about him too much. Things will get unbalanced if you do and you'll come across as too needy if he calls.


Again, the ball is in his court and it's his turn to volley it back if he chooses. It's always best to have low expectations. Remember, it doesn't reflect on you if he doesn't call back. You're a lovely lady who most any man wouldwant on his arm.


Did you see the interview a while back with Kate Middleton, the girlfriend of Prince William? When she was asked if she didn'tfeel lucky to be the Prince's girlfriend, she gave a replythat showed me why she held the attraction of the Prince. It was something to the effect, "No, he's fortunate to have me!"


Well, this gentleman is fortunate to have you. You drove halfway - not demanding he come all the way to your town and then drive all the way back - 120 miles roundtrip for him. He didn't exhibit any signs he was eager to get away from you such as only having one drink. He didn't leave you to walk to the car by yourself. He lingered outside talking with you and he responded to your email.


At the very least, he's most certainly a gentleman, and hopefully, though it's not known yet, he's a gentleman who wants to see you again.


So relax, think about other things, drop your expectations, be warm if he calls and fun, but not overly eager, and enjoy each day. Life is simply too short to put yourself on hold waiting for a call that may or may not come.


Here's a very important principle to remember for ladies . . . . "Don't pursue a man more than he's pursuing you." And as Dr. MPDoc68 would say, "Pace, don't chase." Wise women know this. To contact him again would be getting ahead of him. He knows your number, has your email, and you've instant messaged through yahoo. He has three different ways to get in contact with you.


Now you may have a tendency to think of some reason you just have to contact him in some way. Again, "Don't." If you can pull back now, you have a greater opportunity of hearing from him again than if you simply cannot help yourself and surge ahead. Believe it or not, as this early juncture and way down the road even, you do not need to know if you're "just friends."


Keep in mind if he continues to contact you, by virtue of that, it shows more than just friends so you don't need to ask. Also, as you're getting to know each other, you will - slowly, over time - want to deepen your friendship. Marriage is about 97% really deep friendship and about 3% romance. Your one-day husband will be your very best friend and lover and that's the way you want it!


Let us know if he contacts you. If not, as disappointed as you may be, you really will be fine. People have had broken hearts since almost the beginning of time and have fully recovered and gone onto love someone else. Now, you're nowhere near this place. Keep it all in perspective.


You've chatted six weeks and had one date. You're in the very beginning here. Don't get ahead of where you are. Wait and see what the next couple of weeks brings. Again, it hasn't been very long since your date this past weekend - just a few days and both you and he are busy living your everyday lives. Give it time; give him time.


JavaJava5

JavaJava5...I swear everytime I log on to these boards, you give the best advice to people....you should be getting paid for it!