swedishtexan is offline swedishtexan Post #21  March 4,2008, 8:28pm
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I must say I found these comments interesting. I do like motor cycles, so I would disagree with that one, no tatoos though. Well I know I have gone out with some guys who made a decent impression via email and short phone calls. Then you meet, do not recognize them (old photos), and you get the impression that they want a model girl. given what they look like, what they do for a living, under employed, you almost have to laugh. I know you guys run into the same type of females.
 
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joyful_50_plus is offline joyful_50_plus Post #22  March 4,2008, 8:47pm
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NYCGirl77,49919 wrote :
1- Gambling 2- Curses all the time 3- Talking about your ex, or asking about mine on the first date. 4- Morbid obesity 5- Drinking too much
Men do learn if they are just starting out, I have found & give one 2nd chance to correct, if they do not, no more.

i.e. too much drinking, vulgarity, talking about ex, seem to be the most common-one guy I dated corrected his behaviour (for the most part) by 3rd date
 
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163lisa is offline 163lisa Post #23  March 4,2008, 10:52pm
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My 2 cents on the motorcycle thing - I had two friends die in an absolutely horrific motorcycle accident when I was a teenager. One was decapitated. I know, people die in car accidents all the time, but to this day motorcycles terrify me.

Dahlia nailed it with her comment to look at my eyes, or face when you're talking to me. Nothing screams "run" more than a guy who keeps talking to my boobs. Worse yet is when you are having a conversation and ask him a question, but because he's so intent on staring at my chest he doesn't even HEAR it.

More of my own personal ones:

1) Staring at the waitress/store clerk/girl at the next table while out on a date. Especially the first few dates. I'm not above looking at eye candy myself, but at least I don't STARE at them..LOL

2) Bash women. Sounds obvious, but I can't tell you how many men I've dated who are so bitter about the women in their past that they do nothing but run women (in general) down in every conversation.

3) DO - open my car door, help me with my coat, etc. Again, I'm talking about early days (I think it's safe to say after a few months that I can get the door myself). One sure way of letting a woman know you're interested in her is by "guiding" her through a door. A hand on the small of my back while I'm walking through a door that you're holding open for me is a guaranteed sign that you're interested.
 
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arg is offline arg Post #24  March 5,2008, 2:45am
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  1. Putting down my work (I’m a romance author) Examples: Asking me when I’ll write a ‘real’ book. Telling me I write porn. Asking me if I need a ‘practice’ partner. Telling me I am ruining women’s minds for ‘real’ men. Finally, saying that writing romance must be easy. It’s all insulting, rude and ignorant.
  1. Smoking. It’s stinky and I am allergic. Not just saying that but I can’t breath in a smoky room and the ER is no fun.
  1. Not divorced yet. It doesn’t matter to me if you’ve been separated for three years. I simply don’t date people still legally committed to someone else.
  1. Bad manner. Please don’t eat a salad with your fingers.
  1. Racist. The fastest way to make me want to jump out of a moving car as my family is very multi-cultural!!
I’ve been reading these other comments and find the preferences interesting! As far as the motorcycle preference—I’m curious as to why someone would have to defend that. It’s their dealbreaker—not anyone elses. I like them but can think of a number of reasons why others might not. Should we explain as we go? Should we defend our preferences? They are, after all, personal, and not being applied to the entire gender.
 
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CP85 is offline CP85 Post #25  March 5,2008, 6:18am
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Hello Everyone- my top turnoffs is:

1. dirt under the finger nails

2. grungy look

3. swearing

4. passive- when it comes to pursing me

5. discolored teeth
 
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lada is offline lada Post #26  March 5,2008, 6:42am

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I would think the motorcycle comment just reflects the range of interests people have...

a turn on for some, a turn off for others.

For some, it is not enough interest.

For others, overwhelmed.

For everyone, focus on the ex seems to be a universal bad vibe.

I tried to come up with my top 5 and now I feel so hypocritical:

shouldn't drink MORE than me. Shouldn't weigh TOO much, but not LESS than me.

Shouldn't gamble MORE than me (like, less than once a year, and only $20 at a time...)

no wonder this all seems so hard. And, when I try to see myself through his eyes...I think...jeez, what a neurotic flake. closed.
 
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thesecretofjoy is offline thesecretofjoy Post #27  March 5,2008, 10:52am
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Bobber,52700 wrote :
Riding a motorcycle is a dealbreaker? Please explain that one, it's a lot like saying owning a truck is bad.
Bobber, I just laughed at that one. it's just a personal thing with some people. I've even met a guy who dismissed me because I ride. I asked him why and he said women riders have looser moral values and tend to be rule breakers and speeders!!!! OMG!! Hahahaha!

But to support the woman who can't imagine getting on the back of one of "those things"... the reason I learned to ride is so I wouldn't have to be on the back of someones bike. I had a narrow miss while on the back of a guys bike. He ran a stop sign and nearly got us flattened by a truck.

When I'm on a bike I want MY hand on the throttle and my foot on the brake, thanks!
 
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thesecretofjoy is offline thesecretofjoy Post #28  March 5,2008, 11:01am
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I agree with all the turn-offs listed (with the exception of motorcycles) but my top turn off is when a guy wants to talk about sex. In pre first meeting communication I get so many guys saying things like "are you really passionate? wink wink" and "So do you think you'll let me kiss you?" Dude, I don't think I'll let you MEET me, how's that? So I close them out before I meet them. Ditto if they want to start talking dirty over coffee. One guy was asking me questions about what I liked sexually with a family sitting at the next table with small kids.

H
 
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mystikchik is offline mystikchik Post #29  March 5,2008, 12:00pm

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1. Stupid, unread, poorly informedmen.

2. Sexist, racist and homophobic men.

3. Men who smoke, over eat, under exercise or otherwise slobs.

4.Religious fanatics of any stripe

5. Cave men.
 
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MarkInAustin is offline MarkInAustin Post #30  March 5,2008, 4:11pm
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Dahlia_Marie writes:“My opinion on that myth is the reason women go out with Bad Boys is because they are the ones who ask!”Wow. I think you might be onto something here.“I’m relatively new to eH myself, but I can tell you what makes me get in touch with a “match” Books, have a book listed (NOT THE DA VINCI CODE!)”Here is what I have listed (all true). Do you have any advice?I'm always reading at least two books; I like to alternate between fiction and non-fiction. Right now, I'm reading "The World is Flat” (which is about globalization), “Brimstone” (a Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child thriller), and Nicholas Nickleby (I really enjoy Dickens’ description of Victorian England).
 
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