First Date Is Over. What To Do Now?


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everythingelse79 is offline everythingelse79 Post #1  September 4,2010, 7:25am
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I met this woman on eharmony (actually she was the one who initiated the communication) and we just had our first date last night. We met up at a local restaurant for dinner. The food was good, conversation was great, and the date flew by. We met at 7:45 and the next thing we knew it was 11:30. I paid for dinner even though she offered to pick up half. Then I walked her to her car. When we got to her car she said that since I paid this time that she has to get the check next time. She gives me a hug and tells me she had a good time and I say the same and then we part ways. When I get home I received a text from her saying "just got home...thanks again, I had a good time." I responded with "glad to hear that, I had a good time too. I hope we can get together again soon." My question is, would it be safe to assume that she is interested in me, and if so, when should I call her to set up a 2nd date?

Thanks in advance!
 
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theweave is offline theweave Post #2  September 5,2010, 5:57pm
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Okay exactly WHY are you posting this question when the answer is obvious! She already slid the door open for another date but you didn't go in!! She let you into her personal space for a hug, which is good!

You should be talking to her and seeing when you are getting together again, then go for the kiss!!!!
 
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annother is offline annother Post #3  September 5,2010, 6:05pm
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Yup. What the weave said. Except that it's not too late to call and fix a second date. Do it today (if it's not too late where you live) or tomorrow.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #4  September 5,2010, 6:13pm
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yes, call her tomorrow and ask her out for a night in the coming week. she wants to go out again - she made that clear. don't wait too long to contact her, and definitely make it a phone call.

congrats!!!!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  September 5,2010, 6:19pm
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everythingelse79 wrote :
I met this woman on eharmony (actually she was the one who initiated the communication) and we just had our first date last night.
...
My question is, would it be safe to assume that she is interested in me, and if so, when should I call her to set up a 2nd date?

Thanks in advance!
No.

You need to call as soon as possible to set up a second date. You should have set up the second date at the end of the first. Though I have only been able to actually get one match to ever make a commitment for a second date at the end of the first once.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  September 5,2010, 6:26pm
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scully98 wrote :
yes, call her tomorrow and ask her out for a night in the coming week. she wants to go out again - she made that clear. don't wait too long to contact her, and definitely make it a phone call.

congrats!!!!
You're a woman saying that she has made it clear that she wants to go out. And this guy (me) is going to tell you that of all the many first dates that I have had only two have ever told me at the end of the first date that they did not want to go out with me again. Every other girl has said that she did want to go out with me again. Only one would commit to a time for the second date at the end of the first date. With very few exceptions did any of the girls that said that she wanted to go on a second date actually ever respond back to any further communication from me.

And anytime a girl suggests splitting the bill, particularly on a first date I take that as a clear sign that she is not the least bit interested in a second date.
 
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eGrlCutey is offline eGrlCutey Post #7  September 5,2010, 6:32pm
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I think that since the date went so well, that when you walked her to her car you should've asked what her schedule looked like in the coming week to schedule another date. If you missed that opportunity, then when she texted you you could have responded by asking if she was free on such and such a night.

I don't know why you need so much time to decide if you want to ask her out again. If a guy takes that long to ask me on a 2nd date I take it he's not so interested in me and when he finally asks again I figure his other choices fell through and I was a back-up choice so I end up turning him down. I don't know what exactly you're waiting for unless you're not sure you want to see her again. But the fact that she wanted to split the bill makes me wonder if she has low self-esteem issues. She's the one who initially contacted you, who asked you out, who said there's a next time, who texted you after ward and you're still wondering? I hope you won't leave her hanging much longer, let her know either way if you do or don't want to see her again, she can't make all the moves for you.
Last edited by eGrlCutey; September 5,2010 at 6:41pm.
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #8  September 5,2010, 6:33pm
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everythingelse79 wrote :
When we got to her car she said that since I paid this time that she has to get the check next time.
If she wasn't interested, she would have never said the above statement. Now, there is a chance she may have a change of heart, but for the time being, you are on the right track.

The next thing to do is continue to call, text and set up another date. I do like the part about her insisting to pick up the tab. I would not let that happen personally, but maybe she can make up by covering the tip or paying for ice cream. lol

Good luck and go with the flow!

B.Y.
 
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themeaningoflifeis___ is offline themeaningoflifeis___ Post #9  September 5,2010, 7:03pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You're a woman saying that she has made it clear that she wants to go out. And this guy (me) is going to tell you that of all the many first dates that I have had only two have ever told me at the end of the first date that they did not want to go out with me again. Every other girl has said that she did want to go out with me again....

And anytime a girl suggests splitting the bill, particularly on a first date I take that as a clear sign that she is not the least bit interested in a second date.
I have to agree with Gr8Guyn2008 as sometimes many women give mix signals at the end of a date by implying that they will keep in touch, but do not intend to do so. Just like many men, give women the "I am going to call" line but never do. Sometimes it is just a filler/common courtesy.

The hug and offering to pay--could have easily signaled friend category. A more positive sign that she may be interested in see everythingelse79 to me was the text message once she arrived home.

Everythingelse79, complete the follow-up phone call to set up next date. Relax and have fun
 
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nunzirra is offline nunzirra Post #10  September 5,2010, 9:05pm
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eGrlCutey wrote :
But the fact that she wanted to split the bill makes me wonder if she has low self-esteem issues.

I agree with pretty much everything else said here, but the part I quoted above is something I'd never heard before. Is that really the impression that's given if you offer to split a bill on the first date? I always figured it was the polite thing to do - I had no idea it reflected my self-esteem, or a lack thereof.

The last few dates I've had have been hard to read, but I generally try to go easy on the judgment, especially if the guy is as nervous or unsure of "correct" dating protocol as I can be at times. If he takes me up on the splitting of the bill, I try not to read TOO much into that, but am I on the wrong track? I can't say that I've noticed a trend in whether splitting the bill or letting myself be treated results in a second date. My dating post-mortems are never that enlightening.

Damn, dating's confusing.
 
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