"in a relationship" on facebook but wants to kiss me - is he for real?


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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #1  August 29,2010, 12:44pm
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Get this - a guy recently contacted me three months after our first date. he was cute, 7 years younger than me (he's 35), on the coast guard, a lot of fun, but I was still mooning over another guy I'd just started dating at the time (we weren't exclusive) and I was too busy comparing new guy to other guy and I liked the other guy better. that said, this guy was cute and fun and in great shape, being a coast guard rescue swimmer and all!

Anyway, we became facebook friends, but our second date was cancelled, by him, last minute. I didn't follow up and neither did he. I did see on facebook that he was dating someone at least casually at that time.

Well, I didn't hear from him since our date three months ago, until a recent text he sent me, saying he was sorry he'd been AWOL all summer but he'd been busy with work and he'd love to go out with me again and give me a kiss this time, and that he should have after our first date and he'd always regretted it. I wasn't dating anyone at that moment, so I replied that it sounded fun and let's go out. Well, a few days later, saw him change his facebook status to "In a Relationship" - he'd texted me a few more times this week but they were just friendly, not inappropriate. Well, last night he texted me again that he'd like to kiss me, etc. I flat out said, "you changed your Facebook status - don't you have a girlfriend?" He said, "Oh, that's long distance and I don't know if that's going to work out."

he begged me to go out with him. he said he wants to stand out from all the other guys, and that that should mean something to me, the fact that he wants to stand out and be someone different than the other guys. but I'm not interested, cause I'm dating someone else. but I had thought about introducing him to a friend up until that point. now, I think he might be flat-out bad boyfriend material. First, he went out with me while casually dating another woman (but she had to know he still had a match profile cause that was active, so maybe that wasn't so bad). And now, he's in a relationship that went facebook public and yet he's still trying hard to lure me on a kissing date. and I'm not naive, so I'm assuming he's trying to score a home run on a first date by talking about kissing so much via text.

Do you think this guy might be decent, and worth introducing to one of my single friends, or do you think he's simply a player? My meter of gauging players is pretty bad, so I'm terrible at it.
Last edited by scully98; August 29,2010 at 12:47pm.
 
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astro42 is offline astro42 Post #2  August 29,2010, 12:49pm
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This guy sounds like a tool.

And passing him off to your friend seems a little weird, especially when he's so hot for you, even if he wasn't a tool, but that's a different thread, I guess.
 
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petunialane is offline petunialane Post #3  August 29,2010, 12:57pm
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Do you just want a hookup or a boyfriend? If you're ok with nothing more than a casual man, have fun! If you want a real bf, be careful and stay away from this slimeball!!
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #4  August 29,2010, 3:20pm
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oh, I'm not going out with him. and my friend thought he was cute, so that was why I was going to try to introduce them. I don't think he's "hot" for me, just that he's hot for any female! my friend is cute. he'd have liked her. but now, I don't think it's worth her bother to introduce them!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  August 29,2010, 3:27pm

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A possible player who's trying to kiss you with 'in relationship' (which means he is still in a relationship with the other person) and you want to introduce him to your friend....

or I guess maybe you care about your friends welfare, that if she were to almost drown, mr. coast guard can save her and give her mouth to mouth.

I don't know what to think anymore.

(time for another drink!)
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  August 29,2010, 3:35pm
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You should find out his girlfriend's name and send her this message: "Hi, your boyfriend tried to hit on me. I'm not interested, but I was going to try to set him up with my friend anyway, to see if I can break you two up. Do you mind?" And if she writes back that it's cool & that they weren't really exclusive anyway, then go for it.
 
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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #7  August 29,2010, 5:07pm
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scully98 wrote :
but I had thought about introducing him to a friend up until that point. now, I think he might be flat-out bad boyfriend material.
okay, I have to quote myself with what I said above! I don't have any intention of introducing this guy to my friends while he's "in a relationship" with someone else.

BUT I am assuming that the current relationship will soon end, given his desire to smooch on other women, and I wasn't 100% sure he was a total washout to introduce to my friends at that point. That is why I asked the question.

Sheesh. Give me SOME credit!

LOL! The funny thing is, the chick he's "in a relationship with" is linked to him on his facebook profile. I could totally email her through facebook. But I won't. It's not my business to intrude upon.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #8  August 29,2010, 5:15pm
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scully98 wrote :

BUT I am assuming that the current relationship will soon end, given his desire to smooch on other women,
That's never stopped some men from having something on the side.
 
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winn is offline winn Post #9  August 29,2010, 8:36pm

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Mokkesofie wrote :
That's never stopped some men from having something on the side.
I'm finding that out pretty fast. Could have had that situation this summer but I think that's pretty scuzzy, especially since his wife was on her way down to join him, on my property!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  August 30,2010, 11:32am

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scully98 wrote :
okay, I have to quote myself with what I said above! I don't have any intention of introducing this guy to my friends while he's "in a relationship" with someone else.
Ok let's just talk about your single friend instead.....got any photos?
 
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