If she's the shy/quiet type and I am too...what do I do!?

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N0va Post #1 August 17,2010, 12:15pm

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I am new here specifically for advice. Hi everyone

*short story* There was a girl I liked last year but she sat on the other side of the class with assigned seats so I couldn't really talk to her. This year, I was kinda thinking of seeing her again and I never did the first week of school. Then magically she ended up getting into my economics class and taking a seat right next to where I sit *She was in the class first when she sat there*. I got very nervous the first day and hardly said anything to her.

Anyways...it's day 3 and I just don't know what to say to her. There isn't anything I know about her and I only started one conversation with her that didn't last very long. I seriously can't think of any ideas. I think she likes me because she gets a piece of gum in the middle of class, quiet, and when I say something that isn't that funny, she laughs.

Now, I have gradually conquered my shyness except when I talk to a girl I really like. I'm left with the talking unless she starts first which she hasn't....I just feel uncomfortable not talking to her.

I really need some advice especially if you've ever been in a situation like this. I don't want to go too personal when I barely know her. To cope sometimes...I just ask a question about what we are doing in class and of course that doesn't last long either...but It's as a final resort if I can't think of what to say.

Need MAJOR advice!!

astro42 Post #2 August 17,2010, 12:28pm

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I'm guessing you're in high school? I haven't been there for a while, but really, just relax and be yourself. You could always just ask her out. Do it casually, and don't make a big deal about it. Rejection sucks, but it's really not the end of the world. If you're cool about it, you can just laugh it off and at least you have your answer, right?

Some things you could talk about:

What she did over the summer.
What other classes is she taking?
Where is she thinking of going to college (if you're a junior or senior).
What's the best thing that's happened to her in the last week?
Does she like the same music you do?
Where does she like to hang out?
What are her hobbies?
Does she like one of your hobbies?
Does she watch some TV show you like?

I don't even know the girl or you and it seems like all of those questions might get you started. The key thing is: just be yourself, and try to have fun.

BabyYoda Post #3 August 17,2010, 12:33pm

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N0va wrote :

I am new here specifically for advice. Hi everyone

Why don't you start by introducing yourself and extending your hand to her. Then, strike up a conversation about the class. Depending on how she responds, act accordingly.

Moral of the story is that you shouldn't focus on winning a woman's heart until you are able to befriend them. Basically, you have to crawl before you can walk.

B.Y.

astro42 Post #4 August 17,2010, 12:36pm

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Also, Dan Savage has some good advice for teenaged boys this week in Savage Love. Basically, it's pretty obvious stuff in hindsight, but maybe not in the present. Please don't be offended if it's too obvious. Just google Savage Love and have a read.

I'm not talking about the sex stuff or the getting laid part, but think about what image you present when you try to approach her. Make sure the image you project is something that you'd want to date--i.e. prepare a little bit. At the very least, brush your teeth.

He has good advice too, in general: read, pick up a hobby, or get interested in something. Interested people are interesting people.

Last edited by astro42; August 17,2010 at 12:39pm.

N0va Post #5 August 17,2010, 12:44pm

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astro42 wrote :

Yes, I'm in highschool as a senior. I don't want to rush things by asking her out because I knew she had a boyfriend last year. *Lockers in the same building* Also mainly because if she says no then I'm stuck with the akwardness until christmas break.

It never came to my mind asking most of those questions...probably because I was too nervous to come up with them at the time. Honestly, my routine is using what we are doing in class as a way to interact but in economics, we haven't really done much of that yet. Just note taking and quizzes so far.

I really want to treat the situation like I would any other but it just feels so difficult to do so.

Thanks for the responses so far everyone.

Last edited by N0va; August 17,2010 at 12:47pm.

astro42 Post #6 August 17,2010, 12:49pm

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Well, if you're not ready to ask her out, then don't. But if you do it the right way, there shouldn't be any awkwardness. In fact, I would guess it might defuse some of the awkwardness. If she says no, you can move onto a new crush.

But you can still try and talk to her. I know this sounds stupid, but girls are people too, and like the same sorts of things boys do. They eat, sleep, have homework, like some classes, hate others, fret about college, have hobbies, and friends. If she's into you like you think, she'll be happy to talk to you about anything, so try not to stress yourself out.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

insertscreenname Post #7 August 17,2010, 12:53pm

... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

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Do you already know her name?

I don't know if something similar would work these days, but way back in high-school I tried this...

I saw a cute girl in class sitting beside me, she was wearing a Doors t-shirt (a classic rock band). So I passed her a written note: "Hello I love you, won't you tell me your name?"

They are lyrics to a popular Doors song. She loved it and I ended up dating her for about 6 months.

BikerBeagle Post #8 August 17,2010, 12:59pm

thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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