Confused on what he wants...


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  August 1,2010, 7:46am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

You already know the answer to your question. He is not that into you and is just keeping you hanging on for when he has nothing else to do.

A few general comments, stop with the texting. And a comment that is not based on anything in your OP, don't be too eager to hop into bed with your match / date. Better luck with your next guy.
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #12  August 1,2010, 8:17am
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

SemiBlondeBeauty wrote :
Ok I have been dating this guy for about two months now. I'm a pretty straight forward person when it comes to whats on my mind so I have asked about the fact of being an actual couple before and was shot down with an explanation of "I want to make sure I'm ready first". Ok I can deal with that... So time goes on and I start noticing that he always seems to be "busy" and there have been quite a few times that I have asked him to go out and do things with me and he says yes and then backs out at the last minute because something comes up. We were texting everyday several times a day, and it has slowly dwindled down to maybe one or two texts, if any at all. I feel like I am the one that is trying to keep this going and he is just along for the ride. I know he has been hurt pretty bad in the past and is cautious when it comes to relationships, but to me it feels like I need to just move on, but at the same time I dont want to do that prematurely because from what I have seen thus far, he is a really great guy. Is it just in my head or is there something going on here that I'm not seeing? What should I do?!
"I want to make sure I'm ready first"...
That's a pretty weak cop out on his behalf. It's not like you're asking for an engagement ring. I guess you could press the issue. Ask him when he'll be ready or what actions he's taking to become ready. Perhaps refer him to counseling. If he resists the idea; then question his sincerity.

"I know he has been hurt pretty bad in the past and is cautious when it comes to relationships".
People get hurt when relationships end. It's not what happens, it's how you deal with what happens. My BS detector is going off with this guy. I'm guessing he's seeing other people.

You're a cute woman, you should have no problems finding someone who doesn't take you for granted.
 
  Reply With Quote
abqjohn is offline abqjohn Post #13  August 1,2010, 8:37am
abqjohn's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2010

Greensboro, NC

Posts: 6

See profile

I had a similar situation where the commuunication slowed to a crawl. Then, she said she didn't want me to date anyone else, but she wanted to continue dating. Last month, she dumped me saying we were in different places. She just wasn't THAT into me.
Last edited by abqjohn; August 1,2010 at 8:43am.
 
  Reply With Quote
SemiBlondeBeauty is offline SemiBlondeBeauty Post #14  August 1,2010, 3:26pm
SemiBlondeBea…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 7

See profile

Thank you everyone for your advice. I decided to talk to him about it, and see exactly where he stands. After I got the same kind of answers I told him it was time to cut the cord. I know I deserve better than that! And it was true, I pretty much did know the answer to begin with, I just didnt want to beleive it, but that you for all of your help! It is greatly appreciated
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #15  August 2,2010, 5:15pm
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

SemiBlondeBeauty wrote :
Thank you everyone for your advice. I decided to talk to him about it, and see exactly where he stands. After I got the same kind of answers I told him it was time to cut the cord. I know I deserve better than that! And it was true, I pretty much did know the answer to begin with, I just didnt want to beleive it, but that you for all of your help! It is greatly appreciated
Good for you, and you do deserve better than that..

A friend recently said to me, "you deserve someone who's going to be as excited about wanting you as you are about wanting them. Sometimes that's a compatibility issue and sometimes it's timing".
 
  Reply With Quote
autumnnights is offline autumnnights Post #16  August 2,2010, 5:36pm
autumnnights's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2010

Posts: 7

See profile

I've been in the same situation as you, and trust me the sooner you dump him the better. He obviously has issues of his own and you may be too good for him. Men who are "hurt" are not worth our time and effort, we are not their psychologists. Find a man who's complete and willing to make time to see you. Don't waste your time on this guy, he isn't worth it.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #17  August 2,2010, 6:31pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

dog slimed!

Power Poster

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,341

See profile

TrekRyder10 wrote :
A friend recently said to me,

"You deserve someone who's going to be as excited about wanting you as you are about wanting them. Sometimes that's a compatibility issue and sometimes it's timing."
Wow.
Wise words.

Is your friend single?
 
  Reply With Quote
TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #18  August 3,2010, 9:23am
TrekRyder10's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2010

In a van down by the river

Posts: 4,802

See profile

lacedwithhope wrote :
Wow.
Wise words.

Is your friend single?
I think so! but you need to keep an eye on your stuff, when this friend is around, things jut seem to walk away!
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is offline richey Post #19  August 4,2010, 1:04pm
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,764

See profile

Ya.. the quickest way to figure out what's going on is to pretend their behavior is yours and ask, "if i were acting that way towards him ~ what is most likely going on with me?"

I think put that way... it would be obvious to all of us if we were less in contact with somebody, texting them less, and not being as responsive ~ chances are it meant we wern't really into them and weren't that interested in continuing with them.

I'm glad you stood up and didn't wait around for him. That's the mistake most people make and its' just a stressful, exhausting way to live.

Best of luck to you. You will definitely find something much better.

Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« A little advice/perspective please...never married, no kids?? | Dating | How often do you communicate with your date after the 3rd date? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guys please help.....I'm SO confused... kmc1977 Dating 25 January 20,2012 6:55pm
Closure after a breakup????? yoga_gal Dating 62 July 22,2011 3:10pm
Women confuse me Atlguy38 Dating 56 June 13,2011 3:31pm
soooo confused... bekka74 Relationships 5 July 25,2010 5:10am
so confused ....want to hear a good advice fmss Ask a Dating Expert 5 May 20,2010 9:46am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:21am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0