Has this guy flaked out on me?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
EmergencyNurse is offline EmergencyNurse Post #1  July 30,2010, 5:26am
EmergencyNurs…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 111

See profile

This is a followup thread to my previous thread, "First date went well. Who follows up?"

So I went out on a first date with this guy a week ago Monday. A week passes without hearing from him, so I call and leave him a voice message this past Monday morning. In the message, I suggested meeting up this weekend. He called me back an hour later (while he was in between seeing patients). He suggests getting together Saturday night, and says he'll call me later in the week.

Well I haven't heard from him. Now granted, I could still hear from him later today. But wouldn't it only be courteous to have made plans by now? Why would he bother returning my call if he wasn't interested? Could he have changed his mind or made other plans since that call? Arrgh. In mind's eye, the ball's in his court. Something tells me that by day's end, I'll have learned that "another one bites the dust." LOL Guys, any thoughts? Thanks.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  July 30,2010, 5:33am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

I am starting to wonder how many potential amazing relationships fail because no one seems to get both parties can use the phone.

Really I get it, he said he would call you later. He hasn't. What if he remember the conversation wrong and thought you were going to call? So now you are both posting why hasn't he/she called. All the time is passing because......neither have picked up the phone. Really you have time to post this you have time to just call him and say was I supposed to call back cause I remembered it the other way around. He is either going to say oh carp I forgot to call you or I was wondering why you didn't call yet. I thought maybe you flaked on me.
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  July 30,2010, 5:46am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,604

See profile

I say he flaked. He said he'd call but didn't. If you were going to try to reach him to make plans for the weekend you should've done it by Thursday. But since you didn't, I'd make other plans.
 
  Reply With Quote
dakotatogo is offline dakotatogo Post #4  July 30,2010, 6:14am
dakotatogo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 37

See profile

I had something similar happen to me two weeks ago. The guy was supposed to call to firm up plans, never did and he flaked. He called a few days later and admitted he flaked, apologized etc.

Since the flake incident I have had a few other first dates that went well and all of those men have followed up to make solid plans immediately. The "flake" still calls and still wants to get together, but after interacting with the others Im no longer interested in dealing with the flake. I want someone who is interested enough to never blow me off, unless its life or death.

If he calls, hear him out but I would definately be actively searching for men that wouldnt fathom flaking on you.
 
  Reply With Quote
coffeetogoplease is offline coffeetogoplease Post #5  July 30,2010, 6:17am
coffeetogople…'s Avatar

are we there yet?

Power Poster

Joined: Apr 2010

somewhere over the rainbow

Posts: 9,337

See profile

EmergencyNurse wrote :
This is a followup thread to my previous thread, "First date went well. Who follows up?"

So I went out on a first date with this guy a week ago Monday. A week passes without hearing from him, so I call and leave him a voice message this past Monday morning. In the message, I suggested meeting up this weekend. He called me back an hour later (while he was in between seeing patients). He suggests getting together Saturday night, and says he'll call me later in the week.

Well I haven't heard from him. Now granted, I could still hear from him later today. But wouldn't it only be courteous to have made plans by now? Why would he bother returning my call if he wasn't interested? Could he have changed his mind or made other plans since that call? Arrgh. In mind's eye, the ball's in his court. Something tells me that by day's end, I'll have learned that "another one bites the dust." LOL Guys, any thoughts? Thanks.
I thought I had the market on flaky guys all wrapped up LOL! Pretty much everyone I have been to phone conversations with has done this. I agree that you should phone or text about the plans (phone is better). None of the guys was disinterested - and I still don't know how to explain why they don't call when they say they will - even if they give a day and time. They just don't. One had even taken down his profile to concentrate soley on me and still wasn't calling. Nudges worked. So call the guy....and good luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  July 30,2010, 6:19am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

Sigh....no man, no matter how busy, is going to forget/fail to call if he is really truly interested in you.
 
  Reply With Quote
EmergencyNurse is offline EmergencyNurse Post #7  July 30,2010, 6:27am
EmergencyNurs…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2010

Posts: 111

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
Sigh....no man, no matter how busy, is going to forget/fail to call if he is really truly interested in you.

Totally agree. I say this to myself as well as my single friends. But at the same time, I will give someone the benefit of the doubt...but ONLY ONCE
 
  Reply With Quote
dmi is offline dmi Post #8  July 30,2010, 7:03am
dmi's Avatar

dreams of Pyramids and Empires

Power Poster

Joined: May 2010

East Coast

Posts: 5,791

See profile

I think you need to accept that with this guy you will be doing all the heavy lifting to make this work. If that's acceptable, then call him and firm up your plans. If that's unacceptable, move on now, it'll just be harder on both of you later.
 
  Reply With Quote
2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #9  July 30,2010, 7:06am
2clueless's Avatar

says Festivus for the rest of us!

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 437

See profile

You've reached out once already by calling after date 1 after not hearing from him. And you extended yourself by initiating conversation about date 2. If he hasn't followed up on date 2, I'd leave it alone. At worst, he is not interested. At best, he is too busy to prioritize getting to know you. Neither one seems to be a good case scenario.
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #10  July 30,2010, 9:32am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

I have forgotten/lost phone numbers...

that can happen.

Maybe the doctor found out you were a nurse and decided he didnt want to date a nurse....

How was that first date? Did it seem like he was interested?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« SNRC...woo hoo...bring sweets, treats and.....beer, wine, champagne, etc. | Dating | chemistry »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
First date was great, but then she flaked on the second!!! Need some advice... changster Dating 15 July 20,2010 6:20pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:17am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0