Confused about his interest


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tennigal is offline tennigal Post #1  July 27,2010, 8:51am
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Hi everyone! I've been lurking on here for awhile and now feel compelled to post because I'm rather confused. Thought it might help to get other people's input/opinions/advice.

I went out on a lunch date with a guy from eh. We later went on a dinner date that went really well. We laughed the whole time, had a great time. At the end of the night, he asked me over to his house for the next weekend and said that he would bbq for me. I went over the next weekend, and we had another great time. I was there for 8 hours, just hanging out, cuddling, did some kissing. He was even really cuddly with me in front of his roommate. We went out on a lunch date about three days later. Afterward, he asked me when we could see each other again, and decided on his next days off we would, most likely a Sunday. He sent me some cute text messages after that, too.

We had talked about Sunday for a date. I sent him a text on Saturday asking him if we were still on for Sunday (he can only get texts during work, no calls... and he works really weird shifts). He sent me a text about 8 hours later saying sorry for the late notice, but he had switched days with someone at the last minute and had to work Sunday. He then asked how I was doing. I said I was doing great, and then asked if he wanted to hang out on another one of his days off, and asked him how work was going. That was a few days ago, and I never heard back. Meanwhile, he has had the last two days off and hasn't called, texted, etc. So I don't think it's that he was just too busy at work.

I'm just confused because he asked me out after our last date and he sent me the first couple of texts.... Of course, I'm tempted to call/email/text, one of those, just to casually ask if he wanted to hang out still or just to say hi. But I don't want to look desperate or needy. I really like him, and he seemed to really like me. Should I just wait it out and see if he contacts me, and if not, just forget about it/him?

Sorry this post is so long! Any advice would be appreciated.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  July 27,2010, 9:22am
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The ball is in his court and he knows how to reach you if he wants to.
 
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plaintjanefromla is offline plaintjanefromla Post #3  July 27,2010, 9:28am

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I am experiencing the very same problems...

It's been 2 months, we met on eharmony and it's been great until recently. I met his friends, roommates and whomever is important in his life. I feel like a fool and I have so many questions but I know it's stupid to ask.

I've been giving him space and try to be supportive about it. I want to be honest with him but that may scare him off. (trying to avoid the rules)

I hope it works out for the both of us.
 
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lucas7419 is offline lucas7419 Post #4  July 27,2010, 9:47am
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This coming from a shy type person, if you want to know (as advised by many on here to me) call....Get your answer to the date or if he wants to pursue this further
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 27,2010, 10:11am
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My guess is that he found someone else between your last date and now. I would just move on to your other matches as this guy just is not honest or reliable. You deserve better.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  July 27,2010, 3:01pm
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There are a lot of possibilities here.

Him switching work schedules could have been a legit excuse. That happens. I have a friend who worse as a nurse and she will go into work occasionally on her regular days off to build up comp time or she will switch shifts with a coworker.

I would assume you arent the only one he is seeing. He likely is seeing someone else. If you really are interested in him the thing you should do is call him and not sit there and wait.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #7  July 27,2010, 6:16pm

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It is confusing isn't it..and of course none of us are in tune with the psychic hot line so we haven't a clue whats going on..guesses are all we can offer.

Sometimes people just lose interest. As has been mentioned, he might have dated a new match on his days off and likes her better, or he had a family thing come up and doesn';t know you well enough to share it with you....any number of things.

You've done the right thing by contacting him. Now it's up to him to contact you and set something up.

If you don't hear from him in a week, best to move on. Well actually it's best to keep contacting matches all along. We date to get to know people and most of us have a lot more first and second dated than 4th or 5th dates.

If you don't hear, he goes into the poofer classification and gets all of our most scathing remarks-not that it helps any.

Just know that YOU didn;t do anything wrong, say the wrong thing or any other self blame reason your mind can come up with. this stuff happens all the time...even MOST of the time. Gotta roll with it.

Better luck next time!
 
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tennigal is offline tennigal Post #8  July 27,2010, 8:46pm
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Thanks for the responses. I'm just a little bummed about this. I've been out with 6 guys from eharmony and he was the only guy I really felt good about. And then he up and vanishes. It's a little frustrating. The thing that really gets me is that he asked me out and was the one showing interest, so I found it really odd that he suddenly lost interest. I guess everyone goes through this, but why can't people just be honest and not "poof"?? It would make me feel better to know why. I think I'd be able to handle hearing a rejection easier than I'm handling him just disappearing. It just feels like everything is in limbo.
 
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jeepflower is offline jeepflower Post #9  July 27,2010, 8:50pm
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I think his silence is telling you something.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #10  July 27,2010, 9:24pm
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Who knows, he could be extremely busy at work. I would call him up one more time. If he doesn't answer leave a message... keep it light something like just seeing what you have been up to. If he doesn't respond within a couple of days move on.
 
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