Blow me off & then text to ask how my day went? HUH?


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dakotatogo is offline dakotatogo Post #1  July 25,2010, 6:53pm
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Met a man through a dating service, first date, went decently and he asks if he can call me. Second date, goes fairly well, he calls the next day indicating he had a nice time and would like to go out again. He leaves for a business trip the next week and he texts or emails each day while he is away. The day he is heading home he texts and asks if I will be around the upcoming weekend. I text back I would be around for some of the week, what did he have in mind. He never answers but continues to text me through Friday. We speak on Saturday and he asks again what I am doing over the weekend. He finally suggests we get together on Sunday. I agree. He says he will call me later to firm things up when he is home. He never calls back... not Saturday or Sunday. Then Sunday night he sends a text asking what I did with my day and what was I doing tonight.

If he didnt want to get together, why did he ask? If he decided to blow me off, why text and inquire as to what I did while he was blowing me off? I am so completely confused by this type of behavior. Can anyone explain this?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  July 25,2010, 7:14pm
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Nope. But I tend not to text with dates except to make last minute adjustments to prior arrangements (I'm running late or need to change the time, etc.).

It's entirely possible that he just got a better offer for the day, or that he decided he didn't feel up to meeting, or whatever.

In the future, I would firm up arrangements earlier in the week and not allow myself to be a possible contingency plan. That might direct him to being more firm in his committments...then again, it might not. Either way, you'll have an answer.

Never allow yourself to simply be an option. Make the date. Set the place and time, and stick to it unless something comes up that is communicated that prevents it from going forward.

As to the text asking how your day went, my inclination would be to ignore it and then later in the week ask for a date with a set place and time.
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #3  July 25,2010, 7:15pm
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Wishy-washy guy. Don't expect anything from him. I'd suspect he is talking to other women... but that's just me. :P
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #4  July 25,2010, 7:28pm
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dakotatogo wrote :
If he didnt want to get together, why did he ask? If he decided to blow me off, why text and inquire as to what I did while he was blowing me off? I am so completely confused by this type of behavior. Can anyone explain this?
To me, it sounds like he's bad at making plans, and a bit of a procrastinator. You can either A) take the initiative yourself (and not let him be flaky) by setting up firm plans well in advance of a date, or B) drop him and date someone else. I definitely interpret that "what are you doing tonight?" as a "Do you still want to get together today even though it's last minute and I didn't call when I should've?" though. In which case he didn't really "blow you off," he just made a very flaky and last-minute effort to set up a date.

As always, you know him better than we do. If being bad at planning is his only flaw, maybe overlook it this once. But it's up to you.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  July 25,2010, 8:00pm
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I had something similar happen a few months back, except at the end of the week he sent me a pic showing he'd gone deep sea fishing. I hit the delete button quickly and got him out of my life. I saw this as a definite glimpse of what dating him would be like. not reliable and everything on his schedule. Not even an apology, he acted as if meeting up hadn't been discussed and it was his idea to meet.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  July 25,2010, 8:32pm
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Alli824 wrote :
I had something similar happen a few months back, except at the end of the week he sent me a pic showing he'd gone deep sea fishing. I hit the delete button quickly and got him out of my life. I saw this as a definite glimpse of what dating him would be like. not reliable and everything on his schedule. Not even an apology, he acted as if meeting up hadn't been discussed and it was his idea to meet.
Idiot. ( on MANY levels.)

For one, if I WANT a frigging FISH, I would go buy one at the Safeway store.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #7  July 25,2010, 8:37pm
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dakotatogo wrote :
Met a man through a dating service, first date, went decently and he asks if he can call me. Second date, goes fairly well, he calls the next day indicating he had a nice time and would like to go out again. He leaves for a business trip the next week and he texts or emails each day while he is away. The day he is heading home he texts and asks if I will be around the upcoming weekend. I text back I would be around for some of the week, what did he have in mind. He never answers but continues to text me through Friday. We speak on Saturday and he asks again what I am doing over the weekend. He finally suggests we get together on Sunday. I agree. He says he will call me later to firm things up when he is home. He never calls back... not Saturday or Sunday. Then Sunday night he sends a text asking what I did with my day and what was I doing tonight.

If he didnt want to get together, why did he ask? If he decided to blow me off, why text and inquire as to what I did while he was blowing me off? I am so completely confused by this type of behavior. Can anyone explain this?
:
"What we have here is a failure to communicate", as they say.


Here is a clue why: Texting. It is retarded, stupid and "Naff"

For the love of gad, it is not even communicating in complete words.

You have pencils, pens, computers, typewriters, and telephones. (Well maytbe not typewriters so much now!!)

Why not USE them for their intended purposes!!!??
Last edited by 6dle899; July 25,2010 at 8:39pm.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #8  July 26,2010, 5:54am
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Texting is a tool, like anything else. It's all in how you use it. I agree with you that using it to communicate dating interest is not the best use of the tool.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  July 26,2010, 6:26am
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6dle899 wrote :
Idiot. ( on MANY levels.)

For one, if I WANT a frigging FISH, I would go buy one at the Safeway store.
I can see that you are not a fisherman. The purpose of going fishing is not to bring home a fish for dinner, it is to GO fishing. If you catch a fish for dinner then that is an added bonus to having gone fishing.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  July 26,2010, 6:30am
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6dle899 wrote :
:
"What we have here is a failure to communicate", as they say.


Here is a clue why: Texting. It is retarded, stupid and "Naff"

For the love of gad, it is not even communicating in complete words.

You have pencils, pens, computers, typewriters, and telephones. (Well maytbe not typewriters so much now!!)

Why not USE them for their intended purposes!!!??
Exactly! You have to have a telephone (cell phone) to text so why not use said telephone to actually make a phone call. What a concept
 
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