Would anyone like to share their personal experiences with pick-up conversations?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
NJGeek81 is offline NJGeek81 Post #1  July 21,2010, 11:12am
NJGeek81's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 279

See profile

I've read a lot lately about generic tips about how to walk up to women and strike up a conversation with them, but to me it all sounds so fake and pick-up artist-y. I was wondering if others here could share their experiences with just how they first started talking with their current or former dates/partners. Of course there's the usual "just be yourself" mantra, but I don't know how that translates into having a conversation with somebody. I'm curious how these real life conversations actually go. How a guy comes up to a woman (or even worse, a women who's with her friends) and talks to her out of nowhere without her thinking "who the hell are you and why are you talking to me?". This may be a figment of my imagination ladies, but from my inexperienced POV I'd think that if I just walked up to some woman and said "Hi!", it would likely be met with an awkward "Uhh, hi. Do I know you/can I help you?" So in your past experience, how have these conversations gone?
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #2  July 21,2010, 11:29am

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

I usually go with hi. Since Buffalo (my hang out) always has the TV on CNN I have used, this effing administration is killing my chances of finding a real job, clearly the ability to do math is not required of the current administration, do you know how you can tell Obama is lying... I figure if a guy doesn't run for the hills right off the bat I have a pretty good shot.

As it is I managed to find the perfect guy for me.
 
  Reply With Quote
NJGeek81 is offline NJGeek81 Post #3  July 21,2010, 11:47am
NJGeek81's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 279

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I usually go with hi. Since Buffalo (my hang out) always has the TV on CNN I have used, this effing administration is killing my chances of finding a real job, clearly the ability to do math is not required of the current administration, do you know how you can tell Obama is lying... I figure if a guy doesn't run for the hills right off the bat I have a pretty good shot.

As it is I managed to find the perfect guy for me.
I would certainly run for the hills.
 
  Reply With Quote
zal is offline zal Post #4  July 21,2010, 11:56am
zal's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 3,105

See profile

I've posted this story before, but I have no idea what thread it was, so, just for you NJ, I start with a quote from a friend:
"The only bad pick up line is the one that isn't said." No, he wasn't suggesting that walking up to a woman and saying "If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" or something stupid. The point is that saying something is always better than staying silent out of fear. Now bear in mind that this guy is a middle-aged, balding, not overly attractive dude. Here's the context about how that quote came about.

Scene: Us in a bar. Some convention of some sort. Very attractive woman and her friends walk towards us (as we walk towards them). As our groups pass each other my friend stops in front of the woman and says "Pretty eyes" causing her to stop and stare blankly at him as if she were waiting for him to continue. He didn't. After a 1 or 2 second "uncofmfortable silence" she said "thank you" and a conversation (about 2 minutes) broke out with him introducing me and she introdducing her friends. As we split off I turned to him and said "Pretty eyes"? What? That worked? Are you flippin' kidding me?
Him: "The only bad pick up line is the one that isn't said".

If it feels awkward it's because of one of the following 2 reasons: either you are being insecure (and you know it) or you are simply uncomfortable talking to women. The former should never happen. The latter will be overcome with practice.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #5  July 21,2010, 12:01pm

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

NJGeek81 wrote :
I would certainly run for the hills.
See how well it works. Not saying you are bad by any means, just don't think we would get along. I call it Darwinism of dating. Be yourself and those that would grow to hate you just run.
 
  Reply With Quote
NJGeek81 is offline NJGeek81 Post #6  July 21,2010, 12:05pm
NJGeek81's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 279

See profile

Thanks zal. I suppose this is coming from my (probably incorrect) opinion that women out in public have their own agenda and would not respond well to somebody interrupting them by simply saying "Hi.". Assuming she says "Hi" back, I guess what to say next is what baffles me. Do you go right off with "My name's Chris, what's yours?", or do you save that for later and continue right on with, well, I don't know. The "Come here often?" line sounds cliche. "I came over here because you're very pretty and I wanted to get to know you" seems a bit forward, so I dunno. That's why I asked for examples you've lived through so I know how it -really- goes down.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  July 21,2010, 12:10pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

How about "I'm looking for a rich, beautiful woman to support me. Could that be you?" I've gotten some good laughs and broken the ice with that one before.
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  July 21,2010, 12:17pm

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

NJGeek81 wrote :
Thanks zal. I suppose this is coming from my (probably incorrect) opinion that women out in public have their own agenda and would not respond well to somebody interrupting them by simply saying "Hi.". Assuming she says "Hi" back, I guess what to say next is what baffles me. Do you go right off with "My name's Chris, what's yours?", or do you save that for later and continue right on with, well, I don't know. The "Come here often?" line sounds cliche. "I came over here because you're very pretty and I wanted to get to know you" seems a bit forward, so I dunno. That's why I asked for examples you've lived through so I know how it -really- goes down.
Just so you know I am bored at work, not stalking you.

So you say hi, what is around you? Are you at a restaurant, talk about the food, sports bar/the games, bar/the beer, mall/are you lost-find something, the biggest thing to take away from Zal is relax and the rest will come. Short of meeting someone in a confessional there is always something to talk about.
 
  Reply With Quote
NJGeek81 is offline NJGeek81 Post #9  July 21,2010, 12:26pm
NJGeek81's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 279

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
Just so you know I am bored at work, not stalking you.

So you say hi, what is around you? Are you at a restaurant, talk about the food, sports bar/the games, bar/the beer, mall/are you lost-find something, the biggest thing to take away from Zal is relax and the rest will come. Short of meeting someone in a confessional there is always something to talk about.
Lol, I'm at work too so I understand completely. Damn addictive internetz. Continuing on my point, sure there are things to talk about, but again I see me being some stranger coming over uninvited, saying "hi", and continuing to talk about [whatever] as if I had been invited. I hope that makes sense in some way, coming from somebody who has basically never walked up to a girl and started talking out of nowhere. How to transition from "Hi" to casual conversation and avoiding the "why did you come over here and start talking to me" is what I can't get past for some reason. Is it always an assumed intent that if a man comes up to a woman and starts chit chat, that he's doing so b/c he's interested in a date, therefore there's no reason to specify "I came over here because I think you're pretty" (which is about the most a man would know about a complete stranger he'd walk up to).
 
  Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #10  July 21,2010, 12:39pm

blames self-help books

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2009

STL

Posts: 4,879

See profile

NJGeek81 wrote :
Lol, I'm at work too so I understand completely. Damn addictive internetz. Continuing on my point, sure there are things to talk about, but again I see me being some stranger coming over uninvited, saying "hi", and continuing to talk about [whatever] as if I had been invited. I hope that makes sense in some way, coming from somebody who has basically never walked up to a girl and started talking out of nowhere. How to transition from "Hi" to casual conversation and avoiding the "why did you come over here and start talking to me" is what I can't get past for some reason. Is it always an assumed intent that if a man comes up to a woman and starts chit chat, that he's doing so b/c he's interested in a date, therefore there's no reason to specify "I came over here because I think you're pretty" (which is about the most a man would know about a complete stranger he'd walk up to).
How would you feel if a woman came up to you and said hi? You are after someone like you, if this wouldn't bother you then it wouldn't bother a woman like you either. I think that people get so wound up in the words and actions they forget they are just talking to another human they hope likes the same things they do.

I don't actually talk to guys at Buffalo with intent to date. I talk because I am human and I like to talk to other humans. I happen to like beers that more men like than women so I do tend to talk to more guys. I have had guys react as if I am picking them up, silly guys.

The night I met Troy he was at one end of the bar talking to the master brewer about thermal probes and I was lecturing a professor at my school about the failings of Obamacare. Does this sound like the perfect enviroment to fall in love?

Take life as it is given to you and don't forget to see the potential in everything. You may not find a girlfriend for a while but a mess of amazing friends along the way is a good thing too.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Help Im lost? | Dating | I really like this medical student guy, but I'm leaving to Canada in three days. What should I do? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Would anyone like to share any FIRST DATE online dating experiences? harmonygirl Dating 23 July 26,2010 8:02pm
Workplace violence on the rise - anyone have experiences to share? eHA_Admin_Lori Career 9 January 26,2010 8:13am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did answer and then also updated with news that I was premature - there is no relationship after all.” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Blast off...!” discussion

“For dating. I'm basically in a (lifelong) rut that I would like to get out of. Sadly, my good friends are also in the same place as I am - if not worse. The topic of women is non existent among ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “So I've been thinking about getting a coach.” discussion

“I need some advice. I'm 18, never kissed/dated a girl nor obviously had a girlfriend. I just finished my first year at a top 30 university (full ride scholarship) with a 4.0 GPA. Starting my ... ” –  jrw93

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“The point is no me seeing their photos, I can see their photos; it is them seeing my photos. This means nothing can be gauged by any interest they show to you. On FCW I've noticed the non-paying ... ” –  JohnNorthSydney

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“TD, Have you PM'd eH_Advice_Host_Eve to ask her for help? She is good at helping people tweak their settings so they are more likely to get the results they want. Please consider contacting her if ... ” –  tink333

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Did you know OT stands for on topic and off topic?” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Off -Topic” discussion

“My inner child says I am. Anastasia is intriguing. (Her name too). I like the dress she's wearing in the ad. I wonder how eHarmony picks the couples for their print and TV ads.” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “Where is Becky?!?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:04am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0