fendigal is offline fendigal Post #1  July 18,2010, 2:56pm
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I met a guy about a month ago, it was through a dating site -- we exchanged a few e-mails then exchanged phone numbers -- we had a few conversations via txt and on the phone. We decided to meet up for drinks -- the initial meet was nice not too awkward. He seemed like a down to earth guy. After the 1st date we exchanged txts, and decided to meet again a week later -- this was last Sunday. We went to watch the world cup finals together (since we are both soccer fans). It seemed like we really hit it off, at least it did to me. After the game we sat and talked, about our families, music etc. we had a lot in common. He even alluded to a "next time" -- I took that to mean another date, however we did not plan another date -- I figured this would come at a later time. I sent him a txt on Tuesday, just a normal "hi, what's up" he responded, we txted a bit and that was it. It's now Sunday and I haven't heard from him. The norm has been a txt from him every 2 or 3 days -- it's now 5 days since I contacted him. I now wonder if I had not txted him on Tuesday, would he have reached out to me at all? I guess the question is, did I completely mis-read this? I thought he was interested and he acted as though he was but his silence is telling me otherwise.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 18,2010, 3:06pm
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This sounds like he has something - or someone - else going on.

I would have arranged a second meeting for my next available weekend.

I prefer to send at least two unanswered messages before giving up on someone.

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However, if he arranged the first meeting, it is your turn to do so. That is, in my view, the best path forward.
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #3  July 18,2010, 3:07pm
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Two classic mistakes here:-

1) You did not make firm plans for a second date during the first date.
2) Texting after first date, a recipie for disaster.

Phone him up, tell him you had a great time, and suggest another date. Plan it yourself and ask him out. If he says yes, then great, if no then you know that the chemistry was not mutual.

No point in guessing! Go ask, make it happen, sieze the moment!
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #4  July 18,2010, 3:40pm
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If he balks at the plans, including firm date and time, that you come up with, you'll know where you stand with this guy.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  July 18,2010, 4:10pm
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fendigal wrote :
I met a guy about a month ago, it was through a dating site -- we exchanged a few e-mails then exchanged phone numbers -- we had a few conversations via txt and on the phone. We decided to meet up for drinks -- the initial meet was nice not too awkward. He seemed like a down to earth guy. After the 1st date we exchanged txts, and decided to meet again a week later -- this was last Sunday. We went to watch the world cup finals together (since we are both soccer fans). It seemed like we really hit it off, at least it did to me. After the game we sat and talked, about our families, music etc. we had a lot in common. He even alluded to a "next time" -- I took that to mean another date, however we did not plan another date -- I figured this would come at a later time. I sent him a txt on Tuesday, just a normal "hi, what's up" he responded, we txted a bit and that was it. It's now Sunday and I haven't heard from him. The norm has been a txt from him every 2 or 3 days -- it's now 5 days since I contacted him. I now wonder if I had not txted him on Tuesday, would he have reached out to me at all? I guess the question is, did I completely mis-read this? I thought he was interested and he acted as though he was but his silence is telling me otherwise.
Its not up to you to make plans for a date. He hasn't contacted you in this long he probably isnt interested. I wouldn't bother. Lots of guys say stuff like he did because they dont want to tell you to your face, or apparently at all. If you want to waste your time with someone that either really doesnt like you that much or you have to drag along, then contact him. I personally would be done at this point.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  July 18,2010, 4:11pm
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Oh, and he just might take you up on another date anyway.... if he has nothing better to do.
 
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fendigal is offline fendigal Post #7  July 18,2010, 4:20pm
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Nanette – I agree with you, I don't feel like I should reach out to him, I already did that on Tuesday. The only reason why I'm even stressing this is because I have an interest in him -- if I didn't he would be old news by now. I guess I just mis-read him even though he acted as if he was into it. Oh well..
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #8  July 18,2010, 4:24pm
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fendigal wrote :
I met a guy about a month ago, it was through a dating site -- we exchanged a few e-mails then exchanged phone numbers -- we had a few conversations via txt and on the phone. We decided to meet up for drinks -- the initial meet was nice not too awkward. He seemed like a down to earth guy. After the 1st date we exchanged txts, and decided to meet again a week later -- this was last Sunday. We went to watch the world cup finals together (since we are both soccer fans). It seemed like we really hit it off, at least it did to me. After the game we sat and talked, about our families, music etc. we had a lot in common. He even alluded to a "next time" -- I took that to mean another date, however we did not plan another date -- I figured this would come at a later time. I sent him a txt on Tuesday, just a normal "hi, what's up" he responded, we txted a bit and that was it. It's now Sunday and I haven't heard from him. The norm has been a txt from him every 2 or 3 days -- it's now 5 days since I contacted him. I now wonder if I had not txted him on Tuesday, would he have reached out to me at all? I guess the question is, did I completely mis-read this? I thought he was interested and he acted as though he was but his silence is telling me otherwise.
When a man is interested, trust me, you will know.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  July 18,2010, 4:27pm
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Nanette wrote :
Oh, and he just might take you up on another date anyway.... if he has nothing better to do.

Exactly why men should stop wasting time with women who don't share the effort.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  July 18,2010, 10:26pm
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Do you believe men should always do the asking? If yes, then this is probably over.

If not, ask him out, since you like him. See what happens. It's not the end of the world if he says "no" or you go out but it fizzles.
 
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