luvmontana is offline luvmontana Post #1  July 12,2010, 4:57pm
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Hey everyone, Question for you...I met a guy and we went on two really nice dates. On the second date, he asked me is I would go to a nude beach. I thought it was a weird question as we were riding down the street on his Harley(second date was a bike ride). The next day he called and we decided not to go out, I had things to do and then was going to veg out watching some TV, then he asked me if it was going to be porn. I said "NO!" So, we decided to go for another bike ride the following day and he would email me about it in the morning after he got done working out. He emailed me that he wanted to go for the ride, but I was to wear "short" shorts so he could see my legs and my a_ _ along with a halter top. I was stunned. So, I emailed him back and told him I don't have anything like that plus I don't watch porn and don't go to nude beaches. Left it in his hands to decide. He emailed me back and said that I was a "bit harsh" and that we should both move on. Was I out of line to say something back to him about his comments? I just thought it was kind of disrespectful for early on, he also said that he said those things just to be funny. I didn't think they were funny. Was I too harsh? I wasn't mean in the email or anything. Now he said that we best both move on, he had fun, but doesn't want the tension that I brought on. Wow, was I out of line by saying that I don't wear those type of clothes? Thoughts back.....Thanks
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 12,2010, 5:00pm
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You're incompatible, that's all.

He put out some ideas, you shot them down.

Nothing wrong with either of you.
 
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Tutela_Valui is offline Tutela_Valui Post #3  July 12,2010, 5:09pm
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No, you are definitely not out of line by communicating your boundaries with someone. I personally would not tell someone what to wear on a third date nor would I tolerate someone doing this to me. Well done for knowing what is and is not acceptable to you and expressing this!
Last edited by Tutela_Valui; July 12,2010 at 5:51pm. Reason: word confusing, oops
 
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annother is offline annother Post #4  July 12,2010, 5:11pm
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No, you were not out of line. If he felt tension it was not because you were rude or inappropriate in any way. He just realized you weren't looking for the same things.

This one goes in the "nice but not compatible" file.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #5  July 12,2010, 5:12pm
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These are not men in the whole sense of the word. They are just one certain part in a much larger form. They are very good for one thing. But just one thing. Use them for that thing and you will have used the proper tool for the proper job. Trying to make relationship material or even 'dates' out of them - not the right tool.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  July 12,2010, 5:13pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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D_Lion wrote :
You're incompatible, that's all.

He put out some ideas, you shot them down.

Nothing wrong with either of you.
Froggy hit it.
 
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theprincessbride is offline theprincessbride Post #7  July 12,2010, 5:16pm
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D_Lion wrote :
You're incompatible, that's all.

He put out some ideas, you shot them down.

Nothing wrong with either of you.
I think that D_Lion has given you pretty good advice. You might end up in the "wrong place" with him if you follow. He just doesn't seem to be the type of guy for you. Nothing really "bad" about what he has suggested; just "bad" for you, and that's what matters. And I'm sure that you would look really nice, by the way.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  July 12,2010, 5:17pm
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The only one who was out of line here was him. Way, way out of line.

Kind of wondering where you met this guy. Wherever it is I would suggest that you look for guys at some other place.
Last edited by Gr8Guyn2008; July 12,2010 at 5:19pm.
 
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luvmontana is offline luvmontana Post #9  July 12,2010, 6:16pm
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Gr8Guyn2008,
I met him here on EHarmony!! Thanks everyone for your thoughts back. After awhile, I was starting to think that I was too harsh after only two dates, but then again, if he was trying to be funny (as he said it), why then even bring it up? Right? I have had a few people that I've conversed with go right into the sex thing (premarital sex, etc). Maybe it's the age range, and I'm starting to feel that I'm only being used as a sex object. I get confused.....because I'm not that way, I am truly looking for a nice relationship.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #10  July 12,2010, 7:02pm
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No, you were not out of line. He was. This conversation was not appropriate for him to bring up after only a couple of dates and if he was trying to make a joke, it was a bad one.
 
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