Is it me or would you blow this guy off?


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EmergencyNurse is offline EmergencyNurse Post #1  July 12,2010, 12:09pm
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I spoke with this guy (a match from eHarmony) last night for the first time. I called him as he had given me his phone # in email. He excitedly answered my call, and we had a good conversation for about 45mins. But get this: when we close our call, he asks me, "What did you say your name was?" I respond, "You're kidding, right?" He was dead serious.

I'm sure many of us are corresponding with a couple of people at one time, but to not remember my name?! I'm all about giving people the benefit of the doubt, but to not know who you were talking to the entire 45mins? I can't help but think this a deal breaker. What are your thoughts? Thanks :-)
 
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Antalicus is offline Antalicus Post #2  July 12,2010, 12:17pm
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I forget names all the time. If he forgets your name after you have given him a reason to remember it then you have a problem.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  July 12,2010, 12:23pm
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meh...
It happens. Not everyone is good with names, I can tell you that.

Usually, when I answer the phone and it's a stranger who tells me their name, I'll say, "Hi _____, how are you!"...it's a mental trick to help me remember their name(a lot of people may just say, Hi, how are you?...)

hey, if it's deal breaker for you, it's a deal breaker..no one's probably going to talk you out of it.
Last edited by TheThinker; July 12,2010 at 12:26pm.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #4  July 12,2010, 12:25pm
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Well, it certainly isn't very nice. I wouldn't say it's a dealbreaker in and of itself. If more stuff happens, then I'd start to seriously think there's a problem.

So, just chalk it up to first conversation jitters/foolishness.
 
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Petite76 is offline Petite76 Post #5  July 12,2010, 12:29pm
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I understand how it would make you feel less than special. Besides, he could have just checked one of your earlier emails; I suppose that, at some point, you did tell him your name.

Not a terribly good end to a first conversation, but it may not be as big a deal as it first feels.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #6  July 12,2010, 12:31pm
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So, did you tell him your name? I'm assuming you introduced yourself when he first answered.

Perhaps he's given his number out to dozens of matches? LOL! I dunno. I'm terrible with names, but I'm darn sure I'd remember a eH match's name if I had already given her my bloody phone number!

That's a weird one. I'd be annoyed if I called a woman who gave me her number and she couldn't remember my name after the convo. Actually, I'd be real annoyed ... and I wouldn't call her back.

So, yeah, dealbreaker!
 
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Glimflicker is offline Glimflicker Post #7  July 12,2010, 12:35pm
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Everyone's brain is wired differently, so who knows what's going on inside of his head. Personally, I can remember numbers and the most minute details about virtually any experience–but names used to elude me. I always felt bad asking a woman multiple times for her name, but if I wasn't interested I would have simply gone without asking again. I wouldn't focus on the fact that he forgot, but rather that he admitted to an honest mistake and was intrigued enough by your conversation to make sure he got it right at the end of the call.

Also, you said that you called him last night. This is speculation, but perhaps he was adding you as a contact in his phone and wasn't at his computer (where I assume your previous communication took place). Worst case scenario, you could always ask him the details of why he had forgotten or needed your name after the conversation last night.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  July 12,2010, 12:39pm
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I once had a conversation with a "friend" from school many years ago. He called me out of the blue and we talked about old times sake.

After i hung up the phone, i was like "who was that guy?!?!?!"

I know, not the same as trying to date. Its a faux paux. But the ball is in your court. Do you forgive, or was the slight, unforgivable?

I like to think about it this way, if he's good enough to date and have a relationship, you will ALWAYS have ammo to egg him with.
 
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ltc89 is offline ltc89 Post #9  July 12,2010, 12:47pm
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I have to admit, as a single guy I could find myself in that same position. It's easy to have way too much stuff going on in your mind and simply not be able to shut it off long enough to keep details straight.

My job occupies a lot of my mind right now, my elderly parents need a ton from me, I'm caring for a sister with cancer, and on top of that I'm in the process of planning the rehearsal dinner for my son's wedding. So last night I was on the phone and said good-bye at the end of a conversation with a good friend - and called him by my brother's name.

Stuff like that can happen really easily - I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt and see how things go.
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #10  July 12,2010, 12:50pm
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*facepalm*

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I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

But then again, I sometimes get advised on here that I give them too much room....

*shrug*
 
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