I thought this was strange! What do you think?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Emilsmom is offline Emilsmom Post #1  July 11,2010, 9:04am
Emilsmom's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

WI

Posts: 19

See profile

Hi all,

Recently I went to OC with a match from EH. His first message to me was a request to meet at a popular spot for a drink. When I asked him if he wanted to exchange a few emails or a phone call first, he said that it was his policy not to do that because it wouldn't be an indicator of whether we would get along in person.

He steadfastly refused to make even a little polite small talk on email.

Let's just say that I really have no interest in this man. Why would I go out to meet someone that wouldn't even talk on the phone?

What does everyone else think?


Thank you!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  July 11,2010, 9:12am

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6,908

See profile

Emilsmom wrote :
Hi all,

Recently I went to OC with a match from EH. His first message to me was a request to meet at a popular spot for a drink. When I asked him if he wanted to exchange a few emails or a phone call first, he said that it was his policy not to do that because it wouldn't be an indicator of whether we would get along in person.

He steadfastly refused to make even a little polite small talk on email.

Let's just say that I really have no interest in this man. Why would I go out to meet someone that wouldn't even talk on the phone?

What does everyone else think?


Thank you!!!
Personally I think he's a little rigid for not wanting to even chat on email, but there are some people who don't want to 'waste time' and prefer to go straight to face-to-face meeting, sometimes the rationale is that they don't want to develop any sorts of fantasy and/or attachment to the matches without really knowing whether they'll jive well in real life or not.

I personally much prefer a decent amount of email conversation prior to meeting.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  July 11,2010, 9:12am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,080

See profile

I agree with him. I don't think online-only contact tells you all that much about someone, and in fact can be very misleading ... fantasies happen, people see what they hope is there, misunderstandings occur.

I personally might be a little more accomodating than he's being ... but I wouldn't really want to be! lol. I would not find what he's saying off-putting at all.

I would meet him. Unless "I'm not really interested" actually means "I'm repulsed".

Why not give it a chance? You might hit it off! and if not, oh well, it was just an hour or so.
 
  Reply With Quote
dakotatogo is offline dakotatogo Post #4  July 11,2010, 9:13am
dakotatogo's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 37

See profile

A little odd, from my limited experience most men will agree to a phone call prior to meeting. From his perspective he may be trying to avoid the process of being internet pen pals for weeks.. I think a lot of women stall moving from email to meeting. But I dont think a phone call prior to meeting is asking to much.
 
  Reply With Quote
BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #5  July 11,2010, 9:15am
BlueEyedLizzi…'s Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

Posts: 1,040

See profile

Well, he's right that you don't know if you're truly compatible until you've met but his lack of tact indicates either a. he's jaded with the dating thing or b. he's socially retarded. Either way I'd say it's a bad sign.
 
  Reply With Quote
Emilsmom is offline Emilsmom Post #6  July 11,2010, 9:17am
Emilsmom's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

WI

Posts: 19

See profile

I agree. I told him I would be happy to meet him, just maybe that we should talk first?
Then I said OK, that I would forego the phone call and he replied that we were definitely not interested in the same things....just too weird.
 
  Reply With Quote
chimerical is offline chimerical Post #7  July 11,2010, 9:17am
chimerical's Avatar

is an albino axolotl.

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2009

Arkansas

Posts: 4,154

See profile

I agree with PY and Sassafras. The first OC message I send (or, on match, my first email) usually involves immediately trying to set up a date. Emailing (and even phone calls) don't tell you much, so they're kind of a waste of time, to me. Plus, I'm not very good on the phone, so I'd rather not even go there...

In other words, his behavior wouldn't turn me off. I'd suggest considering it just an idiosyncrasy of the dating world & shrug it off----and go out with him!
 
  Reply With Quote
chimerical is offline chimerical Post #8  July 11,2010, 9:18am
chimerical's Avatar

is an albino axolotl.

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2009

Arkansas

Posts: 4,154

See profile

Emilsmom wrote :
I agree. I told him I would be happy to meet him, just maybe that we should talk first?
Then I said OK, that I would forego the phone call and he replied that we were definitely not interested in the same things....just too weird.
Ok, it's true this guy's social skills may be a big "NO"... But in the future, I say, don't be weirded out if a guy just doesn't want to phone/email. It's not necessarily something just "weirdos" do.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #9  July 11,2010, 9:22am
Dafearon's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Maryland

Posts: 2,181

See profile

His policies are fine, but i think his inflexibility is a little telling.

I would be fine with that, but even i would get a couple small talk emails/phone calls first before suggesting a meeting
 
  Reply With Quote
ravitaekwondo is offline ravitaekwondo Post #10  July 11,2010, 9:24am
ravitaekwondo's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 152

See profile

Hi OP,

I think it is perfectly reasonable to want to have an exchange of e-mails and a phone call or so before meeting. But when you guys do talk, you shouldn't wait too long to get the first date set up.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Monday, July 12 Weekend and Date roundup! | Dating | i need advice »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Marriage as Success or Failure? Gender Issue or just strange? justme27 Relationships 12 March 23,2010 7:08pm
Strange Meeting Request bahama_mamma76 Dating 50 March 15,2010 10:45pm
A Little Thought Regarding Friends meri75 Christian Singles 39 November 20,2009 4:48pm
Another thought for eharmony flippenstipper Chit Chat 10 October 25,2009 10:15am
Thought I'd say hi... Tyym AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 35 October 18,2009 7:11pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:53am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0