theweave is offline theweave Post #1  July 10,2010, 8:21pm
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After a long absence from the dating scene, I went on a first date with a match from last weekend. Turns out that she was a paying member and I was not so she had already saw my photos and still went out with me anyhow!

Anyhow, I made the one hour drive to her city and picked her up right at her house. We drove to the restaurant and had a great meal and conversation, well except for the every two minutes the server interupted us! *LOL*

When the bill came, she blew me away by asking if they take debit, I told her that I was the one who asked, so I was paying, she was like "No, I got it..." I told her she could pay for the mini golf that we were going to, she said okay to that one!

So we went for mini golf, than went for a coffee, and again she insisted on paying for that too. I paid for the second round of golf.

Maybe I am just not used to this after my last relationship was me taking out the wallet everytime! She said she had fun but gave no indication on a second date.... we shall see... maybe she is just sharing the load as she knows I also had the gas bill driving there too! That is not cheap in Canada now! *LOL*
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 10,2010, 8:24pm
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Do you have a question or should I ask it for you?
 
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theweave is offline theweave Post #3  July 10,2010, 8:46pm
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Sorry it is late D! I guess the question here is... we never really said anything about going out again.. so I did not really get a read on her. There was not much physical contact either, but that can be a good thing too, don't wanna be too aggressive and scare her away either right?

I just want reactions and advice, I know in the back of my mind I am comparing her to my ex, which is unfair but I can't help it! I did text about a second date so she will probably reply in the morning when she gets it.

Hoping for a second date, got the nerves out of the way now!
 
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winn is offline winn Post #4  July 10,2010, 8:48pm

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I think you should ask.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  July 10,2010, 9:01pm
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theweave wrote :
I did text about a second date so she will probably reply in the morning when she gets it.

You invited / designed a specific second meeting, or you gave a vague "we should get together again?"

If the former, it is on her to reply.

If the latter, I think you should make a clear invitation.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #6  July 10,2010, 9:24pm
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Don't text. That's no way to comunicate in a dating or would be dating situation.


Call her up on the telephone and have a definate time place and date for an activity.

Then you will know where you stand.
 
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Cali_Gal is offline Cali_Gal Post #7  July 10,2010, 9:33pm
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6dle899 wrote :
Don't text. That's no way to comunicate in a dating or would be dating situation.


Call her up on the telephone and have a definate time place and date for an activity.

Then you will know where you stand.
Ditto. No text next time
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #8  July 11,2010, 2:44am
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theweave wrote :
Sorry it is late D! I guess the question here is... we never really said anything about going out again.. so I did not really get a read on her. There was not much physical contact either, but that can be a good thing too, don't wanna be too aggressive and scare her away either right?

I just want reactions and advice, I know in the back of my mind I am comparing her to my ex, which is unfair but I can't help it! I did text about a second date so she will probably reply in the morning when she gets it.

Hoping for a second date, got the nerves out of the way now!
I think you did everything in the wrong order! and too much at once.

Date 1= meet for coffee
if that goes well- a few days or a week later
Date 2= Mini golf and a cup of tea
if that goes well- between three days and 1 week
Date 3= dinner

It is usual to make plans for the 2nd date during the first. If this did not happen then it is likely that the other person does not want a 2nd date.

What you should do now is wait three days and then phone her and talk about the 2nd date.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #9  July 11,2010, 6:26am
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theweave wrote :
Sorry it is late D! I guess the question here is... we never really said anything about going out again.. so I did not really get a read on her. There was not much physical contact either, but that can be a good thing too, don't wanna be too aggressive and scare her away either right?

I just want reactions and advice, I know in the back of my mind I am comparing her to my ex, which is unfair but I can't help it! I did text about a second date so she will probably reply in the morning when she gets it.

Hoping for a second date, got the nerves out of the way now!
There are a few things that caught my attention in your initial post and this one.

The issue of "who pays?" is widely debated here and so far there is no clear concensus. Increasingly, though, daters are sharing costs. Sometimes they split the bill, sometimes they take turns, sometimes whoever doesn't drive to the date pays. We all agree that dating isn't cheap, so it helps if both parties are willing to contribute.

I agree with the others that you should call to see if you can arrange another date. Texting is ok for last minute kinds of things (Are you at the south entrance or the north?) but not for messages that convey important meanings.

Since you have already texted, I think it's ok to wait and see how she responds, then call. If you don't get a response in the next day or two, I'd call anyway just to see how she feels about getting together again.

Go slowly with physical contact. If you put your arm around and she flinches, you know it's too soon!

Try not to compare your date to your ex. I know it's a temptation, but we are each unique and like to be thought of that way.

Good luck with this. I hope you get that second date.
 
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