Whats age got to do with it?


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kristi89 is offline kristi89 Post #1  July 5,2010, 11:09pm
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I am a 21 year old, pretty new to eharmony. I've been matched with several men, but we never seem to get far. A lot of them have told me that I'm to young to be on here, and that I'm probably not serious. However they all have requested communication with me first. Is this just a polite way of saying I didn't like the responses to my questions?

I can assure everyone though, I am serious about it. I'm just sick of all the jerks I meet at my work or at the bars. I'm young but I am ready to find someone that I can be compatible with and have an honest conversation. Should I take my age off my profile?
 
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amused_n_confused is offline amused_n_confused Post #2  July 5,2010, 11:21pm
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Age has a lot to do with it, especially when you are joining a site where most people are looking for a life partner.

At 21, even though you think you know what you want, there is still a lot of emotional maturity and life experiences to go through before you really know what you want from life.

You are at the age where a lot of girls make the mistake of thinking they know what they want, get with a guy, get pregnant, get married, and within a few years, they are divorced and become a single mom. I am not saying that this is something you would do, since I don't know you at all, but this is the truth of our society.

These guys probably find you attractive and after guided communication, they realize you may not be at the right maturity level for a serious life-long relationship. Don't take it as an insult and definitely don't take your age off of your profile. There will be some guys out there that won't mind your age.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #3  July 5,2010, 11:45pm
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I'm 23, and have been using eHarmony & Match.com off and on since I was 21--and I agree with you that it sucks having guys close you because of your age or doubt your maturity. On the other hand, I know that divorce rates are astronomically higher for people who marry before they are 25... So it's hard to blame people. I wouldn't take my age off my profile, though, either way-- Guys who are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt are the kind of guys you're looking for, not guys you have to trick.

Frustrating as it might be, you might just have to give it time... The good thing about being too young is that it eventually fixes itself.
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #4  July 5,2010, 11:45pm
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I'm 23, and have been using eHarmony & Match.com off and on since I was 21--and I agree with you that it sucks having guys close you because of your age or doubt your maturity. On the other hand, I know that divorce rates are astronomically higher for people who marry before they are 25... So it's hard to blame people. I wouldn't take my age off my profile, though, either way-- Guys who are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt are the kind of guys you're looking for, not guys you have to trick.

Frustrating as it might be, you might just have to give it time... The good thing about being too young is that it eventually fixes itself.
 
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Johnnyguitarman is offline Johnnyguitarman Post #5  July 6,2010, 12:15am
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The answer to the question : ": Whats age got to do with it?"

Would you date a 44 year old????
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #6  July 6,2010, 12:20am
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Johnnyguitarman wrote :
The answer to the question : ": Whats age got to do with it?"

Would you date a 44 year old????
When I was 21, I dated a guy who was a few months from turning 50.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #7  July 6,2010, 4:04am
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kristi89 wrote :
I am a 21 year old, pretty new to eharmony. I've been matched with several men, but we never seem to get far. A lot of them have told me that I'm to young to be on here, and that I'm probably not serious. However they all have requested communication with me first. Is this just a polite way of saying I didn't like the responses to my questions?

I can assure everyone though, I am serious about it. I'm just sick of all the jerks I meet at my work or at the bars. I'm young but I am ready to find someone that I can be compatible with and have an honest conversation. Should I take my age off my profile?
What age are you looking to match with and how old are the people telling you you're too young to be on here? You're an adult and you know best what you're looking for. Seems pretty rude to tell you you're too young to be here.

Telling you that you're too young for them is different. Even though they started communication, they may have realized that they couldn't handle how young you are. You might not have done everything just fine during communication; they just thought they could handle the age thing and changed their mind.

Please don't take your age off your profile or lie about your age. If someone can't handle it, they're not the person for you.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #8  July 6,2010, 4:56am
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That all depends on what it is you're looking for and from whom. You didn't tell us that.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #9  July 6,2010, 6:18am

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kristi89 wrote :
I am a 21 year old, pretty new to eharmony. I've been matched with several men, but we never seem to get far. A lot of them have told me that I'm to young to be on here, and that I'm probably not serious. However they all have requested communication with me first. Is this just a polite way of saying I didn't like the responses to my questions?

I can assure everyone though, I am serious about it. I'm just sick of all the jerks I meet at my work or at the bars. I'm young but I am ready to find someone that I can be compatible with and have an honest conversation. Should I take my age off my profile?
Communicating on eharmony doesn't really have any significance. When I had an eH account I initiated communication with a lot of women without any solid idea that they'd be someone I could have a significant relationship with.

Honestly you should just be glad that they're sparing you dealing with the inevitable problems down the road - they obviously see something about you that makes them think you're not right for each other.

I'm also curious as to what age group you're experiencing this from. If it's guys as old as myself I can understand their reservation - I know it would be hard to convince myself that a normal sort of 21 year old woman is a good match for me. (regardless of how hot I might think she looks)
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  July 6,2010, 6:36am
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kristi89 wrote :
I am a 21 year old, pretty new to eharmony. I've been matched with several men, but we never seem to get far. A lot of them have told me that I'm to young to be on here, and that I'm probably not serious. However they all have requested communication with me first. Is this just a polite way of saying I didn't like the responses to my questions?

I can assure everyone though, I am serious about it. I'm just sick of all the jerks I meet at my work or at the bars. I'm young but I am ready to find someone that I can be compatible with and have an honest conversation. Should I take my age off my profile?
how old are theses guys who are telling you you're too young??
If these guy are telling you that...at what point in communication are they saying this to you?
it's possible that many of the responses are due to your profile, in general, not necessarily your age.
Could also be the types of photos you have on it.
It would be hard(for me) to imagine that someone of your age who has a reasonably well-written profile, decent photos( photos of yourself...not group shots where faces, arms and legs are cropped out, and not the "hey man...lets party! type where you are holding a Heineken bottle)would be looked at any less seriously than someone a few years older...particularly among your age group.

Is it something you are saying to them, in open communication perhaps?
Last edited by TheThinker; July 6,2010 at 6:40am.
 
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