singledd is offline singledd Post #1  July 5,2010, 4:55pm
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I need help. I met a nice lady and so far we have hit it off on the phone. She did not originally have photos of herself posted. She has no sent me some and I am no longer interested in continuing with her. Looks are not my number one priority but they are important when looking for a partner. How do I nicely tell her this.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #2  July 5,2010, 5:00pm
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Have you asked to see a picture of her yet??

She may not have realized her pics are not online.

If this was through a free weekend through EH....theen nonpayers cant see pics posted.

I am sure she would send you a pic if you asked. If she refuses than she is likely hiding something like she is overweight and afraid it will scare the men away on first looks.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  July 5,2010, 5:01pm
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singledd wrote :
I need help. I met a nice lady and so far we have hit it off on the phone. She did not originally have photos of herself posted. She has no sent me some and I am no longer interested in continuing with her. Looks are not my number one priority but they are important when looking for a partner. How do I nicely tell her this.
You could tell her, "thanks, but I've decided to pursue other matches.."
That's about all you can say, without being indelicate.

I would suggest, though... in the future, that you do NOT contact other matches nor pursue them, unless you've first seen photos, as this obviously can be a deal breaker for you.
Last edited by TheThinker; July 5,2010 at 5:04pm.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #4  July 5,2010, 5:07pm

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ami1uwant wrote :
Have you asked to see a picture of her yet??

She may not have realized her pics are not online.

If this was through a free weekend through EH....theen nonpayers cant see pics posted.

I am sure she would send you a pic if you asked. If she refuses than she is likely hiding something like she is overweight and afraid it will scare the men away on first looks.
I think he meant to type she has now sent me pictures. At least that is the only way the rest of the OP makes sense.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  July 5,2010, 5:10pm
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As someone who has met women without seeing photos, and some of that experience favorable, I have a better idea than everyone else (again!)

Pick a place with good food and drink, convenient to you, at the time you prefer, this coming Friday.

Invite her to a date then.

Any answer other than "I'd love to" means you close the match and walk away.

Some attractive women don't like being selected on her appearance. I know how to meet them - and now, you do too.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  July 5,2010, 5:35pm
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singledd wrote :
I need help. I met a nice lady and so far we have hit it off on the phone. She did not originally have photos of herself posted. She has no sent me some and I am no longer interested in continuing with her. Looks are not my number one priority but they are important when looking for a partner. How do I nicely tell her this.
This is very difficult, as she will be fairly certain why you are choosing to close the communication, regardless of how kind you are.
The Thinker's simple "Thanks but no thanks approach" - "I appreciate your time and consideration, but I have decided to pursue other matches, best wishes to you," is about the best you can do.
Then move on, lesson learned - if appearance is a dealbreaker, request photos ASAP.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #7  July 5,2010, 5:37pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I think he meant to type she has now sent me pictures. At least that is the only way the rest of the OP makes sense.

the key:

is "no"....a "now"....or "not"


Very different meanings.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #8  July 5,2010, 5:41pm
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singledd wrote :
I need help. I met a nice lady and so far we have hit it off on the phone. She did not originally have photos of herself posted. She has no sent me some and I am no longer interested in continuing with her. Looks are not my number one priority but they are important when looking for a partner. How do I nicely tell her this.

If you did see her pictures......

What I have found is that photos give you some idea but you would be suprised...both good and bad....in terms of how they look in real life. Some post really old photos.

If you liked talking to her but are unsure of her looks....meet first and then see. If you are looking for that love at fist sight based on a picture in their profile then there is no hope for you.
 
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Estarriol1138 is offline Estarriol1138 Post #9  July 5,2010, 5:56pm
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
This is very difficult, as she will be fairly certain why you are choosing to close the communication, regardless of how kind you are.
The Thinker's simple "Thanks but no thanks approach" - "I appreciate your time and consideration, but I have decided to pursue other matches, best wishes to you," is about the best you can do.
Then move on, lesson learned - if appearance is a dealbreaker, request photos ASAP.
I think this is an excellent way to word that you are no longer interested. It is never an easy thing to do as she will be fairly certain why you are choosing to end communication with her as Dropdeadredtx said but it is better to let her know ASAP. I also agree that requesting photos ASAP is essential too, this way neither of you become too invested in what might be a fruitless exchange due to a lack of attraction. I always send out photos immediately to a match whenever FCW is over and I happen to get to OC with someone because I know they are unable to see them. This way I don't get my hopes up with someone who doesn't even know what I look like yet. But please, whatever you do, if she sent you a photo of herself with a group of friends DO NOT ask if any of her friends in the photo are single because you find them more attractive...I've had this happen to me on SEVERAL occasions and it REALLY does a number on the ol' self-esteem. Not saying that you would but just some friendly advice from someone who has been there :-) The most important thing is to be polite and brief and you should be fine. Props to you for starting this thread :-)
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #10  July 5,2010, 6:02pm
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Estarriol1138 wrote :
But please, whatever you do, if she sent you a photo of herself with a group of friends DO NOT ask if any of her friends in the photo are single because you find them more attractive...I've had this happen to me on SEVERAL occasions and it REALLY does a number on the ol' self-esteem. Not saying that you would but just some friendly advice from someone who has been there :-)
No! Seriously? Wow. I can't believe this happened to you. Two thumbs up for not throwing in the towel! You must be a very centered lady.
 
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