Is A Date Worth Dying Over? Or getting your car stolen?


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looking4u2NJ is offline looking4u2NJ Post #1  July 2,2010, 7:11pm
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You have just got through the "getting to know you phrase" and are ready to meet in person. You aren't too familar with the area where you will be meeting. How do you know if it is safe? I was about to go on a date with someone I meet online. A co-worker casually asked me "What are you doing this weekend?". I reponded I am going to such-in-such place to visit a friend. He looked at me and said "What are you crazy? You'll get car-jacked and shot in like five seconds." I had no idea that the area was so crime plagued and dangerous. Is there a way I could find out how safe an area is before I go there to meet someone?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 2,2010, 7:20pm
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I always set a first meeting on my terms.

Place I know, waitress I've flirted with before, cache of explosives under the drain culvert, etc.

Although this might seem odd to newbie persons (moderators, lay off that delete key!), everything is strange to someone, and someone is strange to everyone, so, I think I am strange to thinks you are strange to think I am strange to think it is stange to think it is strange to worry (too much) over this.
Last edited by D_Lion; July 2,2010 at 7:23pm.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  July 2,2010, 7:45pm

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looking4u2NJ wrote :
You have just got through the "getting to know you phrase" and are ready to meet in person. You aren't too familar with the area where you will be meeting. How do you know if it is safe? I was about to go on a date with someone I meet online. A co-worker casually asked me "What are you doing this weekend?". I reponded I am going to such-in-such place to visit a friend. He looked at me and said "What are you crazy? You'll get car-jacked and shot in like five seconds." I had no idea that the area was so crime plagued and dangerous. Is there a way I could find out how safe an area is before I go there to meet someone?
definitley -- google search the address and see what comes up -- go to city-data.com and search the threads in that city for the name of the place/restraunt -- go to google maps and look at the address on street viewer to get an idea of what the area looks like.

just a few ideas.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #4  July 2,2010, 7:48pm

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my post went away....

anyway...google search the restraunt or address.

go to city-data dot com and search the threads in the appropriate city about the area or establishment.

go to google maps and search the address on street view, you can view photos of the area.

all will help to determine what the area is like, just a few suggestions.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #5  July 2,2010, 8:42pm
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When ever I meet someone for the fist time when I talk to her I ask to meet her at a place that she knows and is comfortable at.

If she is nervous or unfamiliar with the area and it adds stress then that becomes an issue that can affect date success.

In erms of places to meet I will usually suggest places that are highly visited like the restaurants near a mall....or other high traffic areas. Also the time meeting is not in the middle of the night.

Even neighborhoods that can be problems and have your car stolen or broken into usually occurs overnight...not during the day. That is commonplace say in a city downtown where nobody lives but everyone works and things shut down usually early like 7pm.
 
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amused_n_confused is offline amused_n_confused Post #6  July 2,2010, 9:42pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Although this might seem odd to newbie persons (moderators, lay off that delete key!), everything is strange to someone, and someone is strange to everyone, so, I think I am strange to thinks you are strange to think I am strange to think it is stange to think it is strange to worry (too much) over this.
I am in the state of my username...
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #7  July 2,2010, 10:02pm
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If you're concerned about the safety of the place, you might bring it up to your date beforehand. Your coworker may be overreacting and/or basing his opinions on hear-say. I know, because one of my friends used to say things like that about downtown in our area, but honestly, it's just because she's always lived in rural and suburban areas, and she is a little prejudiced against people who live in the city proper. So, your coworker might not really know what he's talking about. (Unless he's had his car stolen there and gotten shot?)

Just a thought. If you're really concerned, you could always ask your guy to move the date to a different area...
Last edited by chimerical; July 2,2010 at 10:05pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  July 3,2010, 6:13am
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ami1uwant wrote :
In erms of places to meet I will usually suggest places that are highly visited like the restaurants near a mall....or other high traffic areas.

Shopping malls are actually havens for crime, though.

Half of all the auto thefts in Montgomery County, PA, happen in the King of Prussia mall.


chimerical wrote :
Your coworker may be overreacting and/or basing his opinions on hear-say. I know, because one of my friends used to say things like that about downtown in our area, but honestly, it's just because she's always lived in rural and suburban areas, and she is a little prejudiced against people who live in the city proper. So, your coworker might not really know what he's talking about. (Unless he's had his car stolen there and gotten shot?)

I checked once, and the rate of auto break-ins in Philadelphia was close to 100 times what it was in the (nice) suburban township I lived in. 100 times! That would be something that I would consider, when considering whether to comminicate with a match, based on their location.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  July 3,2010, 7:11am
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I make people come to my city. I have almost no concern over crime here.

Barring everyone coming to my city for their dates, I would suggest meeting at a place that you know is safe from your own personal experience.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  July 3,2010, 7:16am

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while maybe her date "should" have suggested something on her territory or she "should" have done something else -- I'd still want to do my own research on the place the guy suggested.

Like it or not it could speak volumes. Do the research!

And the flipside of that, yes -- some people do over react to cities and may not be that educated about areas, especially if their is a high rate of change in certain areas. Lots of trendy places used to be the 'bad' side of town.
 
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