How To Date Smart For Lasting Love

How To Date Smart For Lasting Love

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How To Date Smart For Lasting Love


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Jilleen is offline Jilleen Post #1  July 1,2010, 8:22pm
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The first man i met on eharmony. Well, before we even met, did not want me having any communication with any man that was romantically or even as a friend, interested in me.
Gave me a difficult time, and told me I was 'the one' for him, and I shouldn't be seeing any other man. He was extremely threatened by any other man on the scene, which I found VERY  strange, as we hadn't even met yet, only exchanged photos.
Why do some men act so threatened?
The advice to see other men to make one's self more 'attractive' only caused this man to be even more insecure and jealous!
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  July 1,2010, 8:34pm
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Jileen, welcome to the boards.

It sounds like you took some advice given to someone else on the boards and applied it to your dating life, am I correct?

First, this man, if you are dating him, is throwing some major red flags. Who is he to get "jealous" when you haven't even met? And, why would you put up with it? If you haven't met you have no obligation to this man in any way, shape or form.

ETA: Oh, gee, maybe I should actually post about the article, huh? I see it as a clear use of reverse psychology, which, is the basis of every dating book I've ever seen.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; July 1,2010 at 8:40pm.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  July 1,2010, 8:38pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Dont meet him.
Close, fast.
 
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Jilleen is offline Jilleen Post #4  July 1,2010, 8:45pm
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i did meet him. we had the most amazing chemistry and he was very attractive.
needless to say it ended not long after. he wouldn't stop texting me, calling me, wanting to control almost every aspect of my life, and i let him.
only because I was sooo enamoured of him, and really taken in by his charisma. sucha shame. he had other great attributes that it could have 'the one' if only he could have acted more normal.
 
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Jilleen is offline Jilleen Post #5  July 1,2010, 8:52pm
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Are 'normal' men (who will allow women to still have 'a life')hard to find these days?
 
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richey is offline richey Post #6  July 1,2010, 8:53pm
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Actually.. the point is he is not NORMAL. What ou just experienced is the classic case of a BAD MAN putting on a very good act to charm you and convince you he's a good man.

Do you know how you can tell? Whirlwind romantic stuff and overwhelmingly sweep off your feet early experinces with him. Almost overflowing "charisma".... These are all classic signs of the man who knows how to put on a good show to convince women to be with him... only for his true colors to show later (the possessiveness, the extreme jealousy and need for controlling you, etc.)

Be glad he did enough for you to leave him ~ otherwise you'd be going down a very long, torturous road of the worst relationship you can imagine.

LASTING ADVICE: if somthing comes off as odd and strange and a bit off (like extreme jealousy and possessiveness of ou before you've ever even met! or statement slike he knows you're the one for him and has lifelong plans being made before you've spent 1 second in person together!)...

IT IS ODD AND STRANGE and not to go unnoticed. In fact, you shoud take them to heart and not continue with the man.

Richey
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #7  July 1,2010, 8:53pm
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Jilleen wrote :
i did meet him. we had the most amazing chemistry and he was very attractive.
needless to say it ended not long after. he wouldn't stop texting me, calling me, wanting to control almost every aspect of my life, and i let him.
only because I was sooo enamoured of him, and really taken in by his charisma. sucha shame. he had other great attributes that it could have 'the one' if only he could have acted more normal.
That'll teach ya!
 
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richey is offline richey Post #8  July 1,2010, 8:55pm
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Jilleen wrote :
Are 'normal' men (who will allow women to still have 'a life')hard to find these days?
No they arne't. You just can't find or see them cuz you get all caught up ane enamored with certain charactersitics of men that actualy tell you, or should tell you, he is NOT a normal man!

Learn this.. and train yourself to look for the OPPOSITE attributes, and you will easily fine all the normal men.

Richey
 
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Jilleen is offline Jilleen Post #9  July 1,2010, 9:18pm
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Thank lyou richey! u make great sense!

u dont happen to live in my area of the world do you, AND BE single?

I am new to this dating world, and wow, he did sweep me off my feet. very romantic, took me out for dinner at a fancy restauarnat, and i was very taken in.
I still am. thats the stupid, stupid part!
but getting over it now.
i think most women want that attractive, charismatic man, who seems to be the knight in shining armour.
such a stupid fantasy, but nonetheless attractive.

I WISH he had been normal, with his good looks and charm. but then if he had, he would have most prolly been off the dating market by now!!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  July 1,2010, 9:20pm

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Jilleen wrote :

u dont happen to live in my area of the world do you, AND BE single?
lol you do move pretty fast!
Last edited by PY_2; July 1,2010 at 9:21pm. Reason: which is understandable, richey is a handsome, young, hawt, 'n sexy man!
 
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