Guys: Salary as a disqualifying girlfriend criteria


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TheProdigy is offline TheProdigy Post #1  July 1,2010, 3:49pm

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Gentlemen, your opinion on something. Doing research on the Peninsula part of the Bay Area, the numbers are scary. Let's say you live in a high cost area in California, where the Area Median Income (AMI) is about $112,000 / year. Say you want to continue to living in that area, and one day have a family and a home in that area (an area where family homes average $623,000 as of 2009 data). Given these factors, would you consider salary as an disqualifying criteria when determing whether or not to date a girl seriously.

Lets say you meet a girl who only makes 35-45,000/year. Would this keep you from dating her seriously?

(Please, if you don't live in a high cost area, make so much money that having a wife who doesn't work doesn't matter, or can't relate to the above scenario, don't chime in with wasteful fluff).
Last edited by TheProdigy; July 1,2010 at 4:07pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 1,2010, 3:52pm
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What is "average median?"

Isn't it one or the other?

Yes, salary is a core screening criteria. In addition to cost of living, there is the "divorce liability" accruing to the higher-earning spouse.

Why take that risk?
 
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TheProdigy is offline TheProdigy Post #3  July 1,2010, 4:07pm

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D_Lion wrote :
What is "average median?"

Isn't it one or the other?

Yes, salary is a core screening criteria. In addition to cost of living, there is the "divorce liability" accruing to the higher-earning spouse.

Why take that risk?
Typo. It should have read "area median income".
Wow, the Bay Area is ridiculous.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  July 1,2010, 4:12pm
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Every place is ridiculous.

Especially places with people in them.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  July 1,2010, 4:14pm
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TheProdigy wrote :
(Please, if you don't live in a high cost area, make so much money that having a wife who doesn't work doesn't matter, or can't relate to the above scenario, don't chime in with wasteful fluff).
Sorry, you can't ask for people to not post their opinions. Just like those who don't want children seem to think they can post in threads about kids (cause you guys know you do), those people who fit your exclusion clause can post here as well.


My opinion is that you are trying to find too many ways to not date someone long term. If you did meet a girl who made 35K, she probably doesn't live in the city or maybe is fresh out of college and it is her first job. You really have to look at so many variables when it comes to salary.

I have worked in sales. I've made anywhere from 20K to 50K. But, I live in an area where the high end of my salary is well above the average (I'm pretty sure, but haven't looked up stats). Considering the number of years in the business I was in, as well as the number of years at that job, I could very well have made 75K+ within the next few years. Unfortunately, the business closed. So now, it's starting over.

I'm sure the type of job she holds will have a big part on how much she makes. If she works in non-profits she is sure to make less than those selling high end vehicles. As would someone who is an assistant cook at a 5-star restaurant, but then being promoted to chef would get her more money.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  July 1,2010, 4:18pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Sorry, you can't ask for people to not post their opinions.

He didn't ask us not to post our opinions.

He asked us not to chime in with worthless fluff. Not that we'd ever do that.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #7  July 1,2010, 4:28pm
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I'm looking for a woman who can provide for me while I play WoW, so ... yes, income is definitely a factor.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #8  July 1,2010, 4:28pm
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I do live in the BAy ARea (or have.. and will be again). I will answer by saying NO. A person's wage is not a dealbreaker with me regardless of the cirumstances.

I say this because one should never marry for financial reasons (say.. "if i marry this girl who's making $60k, i can finally get a house on the Peninsula!!!). That is the worst way to choose a partner. And if it's coming to that and that is part of your criteria, then whomever you are asking that about is somebody you shodlnt' marry to begin with (because you are with them for the wrong reasons).

So in short-hand ~ I only purchase or live where I can handle it on my own. I will never depend on the finances of my partner.

That being said... the implications and side issues related to your question (things like.. "she's not willing to work or pitch in financially... she just wants me to fund her life" kind of stuff)... That stuff is going to rear its ugly head a lot earlier than when you'll be at the point of looking at a house for the family with her.. and if I observe those types of characteristics in her and that type of agenda in her ~ I will have broken up with her long before looking for a house with her.

Not sure that answered your question.. but that's my reaction to your question.

Richey
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #9  July 1,2010, 4:31pm
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I live in one such area & I won't screen for it.

I do think that a high earning mate could take all pressure off me BUT that pressure is not something that bothers me so losing it has limited value.

There are other ways to take pressure off of me anyway!

I would look for the greatest amount of happiness as opposed to the easier road.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  July 1,2010, 4:38pm

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I guess this is another "I live in California you wouldn't understand" thread? So the rest of us are kind of like the dirty midwesterners who you would serve on paper plates right? Too stupid and common to understand?

ok then.

ps. I've always stuck up for California and Californians. But posts like this (hint) are what makes the rest of the country hate you.

ppps. This is the reason I've never applied for the job of moderator.
 
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