Angeleyes95 is offline Angeleyes95 Post #1  June 30,2010, 6:54pm
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Hi, I've got this question maybe you guys can help me with. There is this girl I've known since high school and I've always kinda had a thing for her. We started off as friends, but the more we hung out the more I liked her. I finally asked her out and we kind of tried dating, but it didn't really work out. I had a drug problem that was just devoloping and it got in the way of everthing.

So we both graduated high school and for a few years I really lost it with substance abuse. A couple years after I graduated, she called me and said she really missed me. I missed her too and wanted to see her, but I let those plans fall through and kept doing my thing.

A couple years ago I had had it and decided to get sober. I've been sober for a little over two years and my life is alot better than it was. Anyways I'm 24 now and last week I went to this outdoor concert, and I end up running into her there. We talked for little bit and said we should hang out and catch up sometime. So a few days ago I decided to text her and see if she still wanted to do something. She says yeah for sure and that she would get back to me about when was a good time. It's been a couple days and she hasn't got back with me yet... I dunno if she's not that interested or if she's busy. It seems like she's been kinda flaky in the past when we've tried to hang out. I like this girl and I hope we hang out, but since the past has been kinda unsuccessful...Should I be hoping for a different outcome this time?
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  June 30,2010, 7:19pm
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A couple of days is not very long. Give it another couple of days and then try calling her. I wouldn't text, if I were you. Texts are easier to ignore than actual calls.

Also, bear in mind that she may be suspicious about your being "clean." You may have to convince her.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  June 30,2010, 8:08pm
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Don't just ask "hey do you want to hang out some time." Give her a specific time and place.

Also, two days isn't a lot of time, as annother said. Maybe give her another day or so then CALL her with a date planned ahead. Since her time might be a factor, make it something you can do any night or day of the week.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  June 30,2010, 9:33pm
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Congratulations on getting clean, that's pretty great!

I agree with above ... give it another day or 2 then call, with a specific invitation "next friday, 7 pm, dinner" or whatever.

Bear in mind that time has moved on ... neither of you is the same person you were back in the day. Start fresh here. Good luck!
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  June 30,2010, 10:40pm
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She is probably trying not to look needy.
 
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gatorkat82 is offline gatorkat82 Post #6  July 1,2010, 8:27pm
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Congrats on overcoming your addictions!! :-) She may be questioning your "clean" status and have reservations about getting involved in someone with addiction problems-not everyone is comfortable with that situation. Who knows what she may be into herself now? Maybe she doesn't want to jeopardize your clean status...

I agree with what everyone is saying though, give it a couple of days and then call her up with a specific event to partake in; not a general "you wanna hang out?" Although, definitely look at the situation with a clear view-it's been several years and she may or may not be the same person. Don't go out with her with too high of expectations. Hang out as friends first and then ask her if you can take her out on a date if you get good vibes from your first meeting. She may just think of you as a friend.
 
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Herne_the_Hunter is offline Herne_the_Hunter Post #7  July 2,2010, 8:35am
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Just getting back into the dating thing myself and this is also something I find myself mulling over and over -- when an e-mail or txt isn't answered right away it propably means nothing more than they're busy or occupied... still if you've made a connection and sometimes you txt back and forth or chat on the phone, a day or so without hearing from them can start the old noodle looking for things - did I say something wrong? make a comment that was misinterpreted? etc. Honest and open, clear communication is key... and also don't second guess the situation...
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #8  July 2,2010, 9:27am
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Congrats on getting sober! I am proud of you. Keep up the good work!

As for the girl. Set up date with her. Give her an exact place and time. I get the line of, "We should hang out again sometime" all the time and I never really think anything about it. If you really like her you gotta go for it. Now, if you set up an exact date and time and she says, "I'll get back with you" and never does. Then forget it. But it sounds like you still have an opportunity with her.
 
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Angeleyes95 is offline Angeleyes95 Post #9  July 2,2010, 5:34pm
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Thanks for kind words guys... I guess we'll see what happens
 
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