how bored, poor or self-loathing do you need to be to consider a date just for the free meal?


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #1  June 28,2010, 4:28pm

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*there is supposed to be a poll here* feel free to vote anyway

I've never gone on a date for a free meal. In fact, like most women (yes I'm speaking for you, but I gave you a chance to vote for yourselves, and speak too with this nifty message board -- not that anoyne will beleive you because apparently the many women here are not a very good sample of women everywhere) --- sigh --- I'm kind of shy and I'm more worried about my table manners, getting sauce on my shirt or looking like a hog at dinner with an attractive man. I fear dinner dates but endure them because there is no better way to get to know someone in a *fairly* relaxed atmosphere minus that evil food, which I usually eat half off cause of my nerves. This also helps the wine to take affect...which helps to relax me enough to actually speak and make some funny jokes, too, or maybe even laugh at the guys jokes...

There is nothing worse, in my opinion than having someone you don't like around when you are trying to eat food. I like food. I like it best when I'm relaxed and can focus on the food. On a date, food is more like part of the backdrop. I taste it, but only like 50% of what I normally would because my senses are focused on other things.

If I'm irritated with a person, mostly I just want them to go away. So I'd never actually go to a meal with them on purpose. I'd even probably avoid them knocking on my hotel room door and then try to ditch them at the pool when eating my french dip and fries after they finally catch up with me (not that that happened). But if it did....I'd lay it on pretty thick that I have other plans and maybe we could talk AFTER IM DONE EATING, hint hint. no, I don't need a drink.

This is especially true when I'm really hungry...and want to focus on eating my food and not entertaining some d-bag trying to buy me drinks. There is a direct conflict of interests between hunger>eating>and living up to your expectations of me looking hot

trust me, I don't look hot when I eat like I mean it, and I like to do that occasionally, much preffered alone or with people I have established comfort with.

Anyway, sorry but I simply can't think of many things worse than mixing someone I have no interest in and trying to eat food. It's a total conflict of itnerests.

Eating with a guy for a free meal? This sentence is absurd and makes no practical sense.

Going to dinner for a date with a guy I like? Sure, but the meal is just part of the formality and if I wanted to enjoy it I'd go back and get take out for myself. A first date is a poor way to enjoy a meal -- even if I do like the guy.

I can't imagine I'd date anoyne silly enough to believe I'd go out for a free meal, but just in case....in the future I might suggest something else, but for sure I think I'll just pay for the whole thing. Or maybe I'll just show up and let him eat, and I'll get take out for later so I can enjoy the meal.
Last edited by cp30; June 28,2010 at 4:37pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 28,2010, 4:29pm
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Many things make no sense - until they happen to you.

At which point, they still may make no sense.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  June 28,2010, 4:31pm

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where's my poll!!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  June 28,2010, 4:37pm
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I ate it.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #5  June 28,2010, 4:39pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I ate it.
Well, I payed for it.
 
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TalkingTina is offline TalkingTina Post #6  June 28,2010, 4:44pm
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I've never been so desperate for food that I would use a date in order to fill my belly.

I have always paid my own way since I got my first job while in high school, and also paid my own way through college. If a man insists on paying for me, I will pick up the tab at another event and insist on paying. I'm not comfortable at all with someone else paying for me, but if he insists and then allows me to pay for things with a give and take attitude, then I am fine with that, as long as I am treating him too.

When I meet up with someone I like, I do so to spend time with them and it doesn't matter what we do. If it is someone with whom I enjoy their company, sitting in a bookstore cafe is fine with me. A lot of money doesn't have to be spent to have a good time. To me, it is all in the company and the enjoyment of it and not so much the activity.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #7  June 28,2010, 4:47pm

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to think -- some of us actually let the man pay because we were taught it makes him feel good.....who knew?
 
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CH2010 is offline CH2010 Post #8  June 28,2010, 4:49pm
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cp30 - I totally agree with your post! I would much rather eat alone than with some new guy I'm trying to impress. A first date is stressful enough already, I don't want to worry about spilling my food all over myself.

I have also never went on a date for a free meal (or free anything else), nor have any of my friends. I never even knew this was such an issue with men until reading their posts on this board. Furthermore, I can definitely afford my own food and would have no problems with splitting the bill (and always try to do this).
 
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BookGal is offline BookGal Post #9  June 28,2010, 4:53pm
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I always offer to split the bill. And I make sure I pay for things whenever I can, i.e. getting movie tickets before he arrives, taking care of the check while he's in the rest room. It's a give and take and no one needs to take care of me. If it's a tight week for me, money-wise, I suggest we do something low key.

I have never been so desperate I will go out to eat with someone I do not like just to get a free meal. There are always Ramen Noodles.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #10  June 28,2010, 4:55pm

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it's funny I never even thought about it. In fact I'm not even dating right now. To think I could be eating free a few times a week..
 
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