collegegirlie1107 is offline collegegirlie1107 Post #1  June 28,2010, 1:19am
collegegirlie…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2010

Central California

Posts: 2

See profile

Hi!

I'm new to eHarmony, I've been on for only 2 weeks, and I've gotten to the mail stage of the guided communication with a few guys. There's one guy I'm really into, but I'm starting to question if this went too fast. Our mailings have been short, here's the gist:

hey how are you? - i'm good, you? - you're in the military, how's that been? - not bad, what do you think of military guys? - they're sexy and admirable, great family guys - you're cute, here's my number, text me

tell me this: am i over analyzing or was that a quick conversation? I was excited at first cause I like the guy and want to get to know him better, but this is the first guy who's given me his number. i've been talking to a few and we've been taking it much more slowly. what did i do wrong?
is it a good sign he gave me his number so quickly? could it just be that he's that into me? or is this the equivalent of an eHarmony bootycall?...i joined eHarmony to avoid those, so I might be a little paranoid.

I do understand that ive only been on for a short time and this is one of my first encounters, but i want to get a feel for the site. how often do people come on this site not to find someone they want to spend the rest of their life with?
but back on point:
should I text him? what do yall think? i think i just want a hug and reassurance, but don't let me down that easy!
Last edited by collegegirlie1107; June 28,2010 at 1:32am.
 
  Reply With Quote
amused_n_confused is offline amused_n_confused Post #2  June 28,2010, 1:41am
amused_n_conf…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2010

California

Posts: 80

See profile

I think you should move at a pace you are comfortable with. If you don't feel like you've communicated enough yet to let the guy know your phone number, then don't.

At the same time though, from what I see, the goal is to always try to meet a potential match after you get over your initial concerns and if you feel like you guys can get along. If you like the guy and haven't noticed any red flags, I don't see why you guys can't move to the text/phone stage or even a first meet in a public place.

When I first joined, I spent a lot of time back and forth just bantering through eharmony and most of those matches just sorta fizzled out because I was initially afraid to take it to the phone stage so soon. When I finally decided to stop bantering and actually text the guy when he offered a number, it really wasn't so bad.

You'll find out much more about the guy and his intentions once you've spoken to him on the phone.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  June 28,2010, 8:24am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

I can't say that your side of the conversation was any more in-depth than his. Personally I try to ask questions that require a bit more than a one word answer and I answer with much more than a one word answer.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  June 28,2010, 9:44am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,080

See profile

Some perfectly legit people don't want to spend a lot of time online chatting ... they want to meet and see if there's anything there.

Other people are looking for a hookup.

Go at your own pace, but don't be suspicious purely because someone wants to move things forward.
 
  Reply With Quote
collegegirlie1107 is offline collegegirlie1107 Post #5  June 28,2010, 10:55am
collegegirlie…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2010

Central California

Posts: 2

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I can't say that your side of the conversation was any more in-depth than his. Personally I try to ask questions that require a bit more than a one word answer and I answer with much more than a one word answer.
that is a really good point..
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #6  June 28,2010, 1:07pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,639

See profile

Your profile says you are 20 and this guy is likely in his early 20s.

At that age is quite common to get to Open Communication and just jump to the phone to talk or plan a meet.


If the person is local to you from the time it takes to get from Open Communication to face to face meeting should only take about 2 weeks (could be shorter or longer depending on individual circumstances).

Just a piece of advice since you dont know the guy...plan on meeting at someplace pretty basic like a coffee shop, bookstore, or meet for lunch or dinner where each of you drive your own way and meet. Then you have an easy out if for some reason either of you dont like each other, arent attracted, or just dont have that good feeling when meeting each other.
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is offline richey Post #7  June 28,2010, 5:26pm
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,764

See profile

Yeah.. there didn't seem to be a whole lot of substance there, but there's nothing wrong with meeting in person to figure out if something is there.

Also I agree with another respondent ~ relatoinsihps require BOTH people to participate.... So don't just sit there without putting in effort and expect the other party to do all the work.

Good luck. I hope it goes well!
Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  June 28,2010, 5:31pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

I agree with the advice to meet quickly.

The more experienced I became, the less value I found in trying to e-mail before meeting.

Attraction, and in-person conversation, are where things start.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« I think I prefer them a little shorter. | Dating | Too Much Too Soon? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Dating newbie needs help! :-) TSN419 Dating 19 April 6,2010 2:33pm
Saturdat Night Roll Call - Newbie Edition !!! D_Lion Dating 163 March 22,2010 7:13am
Hey There, Newbie Here! andforpoise 20ish and proud to be... 2 January 25,2010 8:25am
Assessing the Newbie Dater LavenderFields Dating 42 December 6,2009 11:09pm
Any worries, concerns or fears about having a "relationship"? ming_on_mongo Intelligent Conversation 21 October 31,2009 10:16pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Sometimes it is better than going on a so-so date just to fill your calendar.” –  sun73

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion

“When a man dates women, especially exclusively, who are much more physically attractive, I think he gets exactly what he's asking for and what he deserves - a woman who is not physically attracted to ... ” –  Bluskies4ever3

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“Always trust your instincts.” –  sun73

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“ I was never into David Cassidy. Now, Shaun Cassidy... loved him! (And he was such a girl, too. So pretty!) I still have his album, too. I think it has my sister's name sticker on it, too. ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“I enjoy walking my german shepherd.” –  sun73

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“Hmm. I think we are using the term 'preference' differently. Anyway, you can choose 'not important' for everything if you want the widest range of choices possible. If you do that and still don't get ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Seriously? That cloud looks nothing like George Clooney!” –  mitchell175

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:46am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0