Are first dates really this cut-throat?


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zloki83 is offline zloki83 Post #1  June 27,2010, 5:15pm
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So I've been on around 20 first dates with girls I've met on eharmony. Dates include everything from walking around the city to ice cream, dinner out, dinner in, and coffee shops. Most end up lasting for a few hours which I interpret as a good sign. I think I have a basic ability of knowing if she seems to be having a good time but now I don't know.

90% of the time i get two responses
1. Never hear back from them.
2. "Your a nice guy and i had a great time but I didn't feel a 'click.'"
If something happens and I do end up getting a second date it ends with #2

For a couple of the "don't click" dates I thought I had nothing to lose and would just ask if there was anything in particular. I never get a definite answer.

I'm getting the feeling that unless I have a perfect date there is no chance for a second because she has already has someone lined up in her queue for another date.

Am I over-reacting or are other people experiencing the same thing?
 
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Lebowski is offline Lebowski Post #2  July 10,2010, 1:06pm
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I would say you are pretty lucky that people are even responding to you. So far I've had about 20 women that I've made first contact with and only one has responded and then just completely stopped talking to me out of nowhere.

Anyways, don't take it personal. I know that is easier said than done, but look at it this way..if they are expecting things to be "perfect" imagine how exhausting it would be to have a relationship with them. My advice don't focus so much on them, there is nothing you can do to change them. Focus on yourself and your goals in a relationship.
 
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Sovak75 is offline Sovak75 Post #3  September 29,2010, 12:14pm
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It's not cut throat per se, but I think you are reading more into it than there is. Just because the date lasts two hours does not mean there was chemistry, often girls just want to be nice and it is easier to blow you off on he site than in person. It sucks I know but what can you do? Did you honestly sense chemistry (good back and forth in conversation, asking good questions, really listening to your responses, body language cues like leading toward you, etc.)?
 
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