unforgivable is offline unforgivable Post #1  June 27,2010, 2:16pm
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Thanks for all the help!
Last edited by unforgivable; June 28,2010 at 11:07pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 27,2010, 2:36pm
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Use of a dating service is essentially proof that your partner does not see a future with you. (Assuming that you have either agreed not to look for others, or have been together long enough to make this a reasonable expectation.)

I would say your relationship is probably over.

You might consider asking his intents. Though, it sounds like either their was never satisfaction, or whatever these arguments are has made him reconsider. That the arguments were not addressed and resolved is worrisome, without the fact that he appears to be on the market.
 
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bettinawindbloom is offline bettinawindbloom Post #3  June 27,2010, 2:38pm
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As my brother said to me once, "clues are clues."

You know what's going on, you just don't want to admit it to youself.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #4  June 27,2010, 4:07pm
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unforgivable wrote :

It was just odd to me because he signed on a chat messenger I asked him if I had done something wrong and he said I didn't do anything, he just didn't feel like talking. Then why did he sign on the chat messenger? Was it just that he didn't want to talk to me? If he would have told me that I would have understood..
He didnt feel like talking to you...that doesnt apply to other people....because he wasnt interested in having another fight with you.

I was like that with my marraige...I didnt want to get into another fight so I opted not to talk to her.

unforgivable wrote :
And also, he listed himself as single on here and joined single groups...why would he say he's single when he's with me..? And I know he's gotten around to editing his profile because his interests are filled out...
This all may seem childish, but I'm just very confused...your input would be greatly appreciated..
Sre you two married??????????? If not then he still single.

He is sick and tired of the fights and is ready to move on from you and this fight.

It doesnt sound to me like you are willing nor easy to communicate with.

What was the subects of these fights? Were these over small or major issues?
 
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unforgivable is offline unforgivable Post #5  June 27,2010, 4:16pm
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Last edited by unforgivable; June 28,2010 at 11:19pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  June 27,2010, 4:34pm
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Be that as it may, you can't rationalize away that he is on a dating site except to date.

That being the case, you need to plan your exit strategy now, or confront and address why he is dissatisfied (or do both.)

If you care to attempt to repair your ralationship, I would not start seeing others (that is ending it), but I would be considering my exposures should he leave abruptly.

Personally, I do not retain people in my life who cause upset or stress. It seems you, or the dynamic of him and you, is stressful to him.

In my view, if your partner decided to look elsewhere instead of confronting this problem, it is not likely you will succeed at keeping him.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #7  June 27,2010, 6:31pm
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Somewhere deep down inside there must some exit strategy on his part. You should talk with him about and get all the cards out on the table.
 
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Lookingandlooking is offline Lookingandlooking Post #8  June 27,2010, 6:43pm
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Why do you love him?

You both argue,
you feel insecure after you go out,
he doesn't talk to you to let you know what's going on,
he lists himself as single,
and you think you are in a relationship.

You need to ask yourself some hard questions. Then ask him.

It's easy for people to stay with what they know. You can put up with a lot. But what are you getting out of this?

I was in a bad relationship for a long time. I put up with a lot. My ex wound up leaving me, which I should have done years ago. I recently re-read an old journal where I KNEW that I should have packed up and left, and I DIDN'T. I went through 10 more years.

I guess I'm saying, you can put up with a lot. Do you want to be asking these questions 10 years from now, when you are 10 years older?
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #9  June 27,2010, 6:49pm
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Unfortunately...it looks like ..."He's just not THAT into You..." A man who IS in to you...wants to talk to you...wants you to listen, to hear what he has to say....and wants to listen to you as well. this is NOT just an ideal....it's a real possibility...and you should not settle for someone who is moody and uncommunicative.
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #10  June 27,2010, 7:58pm
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Lookingandlooking wrote :
Why do you love him?

You both argue,
you feel insecure after you go out,
he doesn't talk to you to let you know what's going on,
he lists himself as single,
and you think you are in a relationship.

You need to ask yourself some hard questions. Then ask him.

It's easy for people to stay with what they know. You can put up with a lot. But what are you getting out of this?

I was in a bad relationship for a long time. I put up with a lot. My ex wound up leaving me, which I should have done years ago. I recently re-read an old journal where I KNEW that I should have packed up and left, and I DIDN'T. I went through 10 more years.

I guess I'm saying, you can put up with a lot. Do you want to be asking these questions 10 years from now, when you are 10 years older?
Great post. It sounds like all of my exes. Why did I love them? In the beginning things were great. I think that people tend to hold onto the good memories.

It sounds to me like he is immature, dishonest and does his best to make her feel insecure and jealous. If I didn't know any better, I would say that he is trying to make her break up with him.

She definitely needs to ask herself those questions, why do you love him? She may care for him, but bottom line he is not receptive or willing to communicate or make things better.

Breaking up will hurt, but in time it will pass.
 
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