Cant tell if I earned a second date; your opinion please?


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Sweatdog is offline Sweatdog Post #1  June 27,2010, 12:10pm
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Let me give a quick summary:

I met Laura in a clinical setting of a sleep study center I was visiting. She was my contact at the center, so she emailed me the study information, etc. I flirt-mailed back a bit then I asked if she would like to meet for lunch in Boston and I got a yes. She also volunteered her cell phone # which I had not yet asked for. She is about my age, 26-ish, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous, more of a "woman" than I have ever been involved with. Shes gung-ho about her education right now which I love, but that keeps her super busy.

The lunch date went great, lots of conversation and smiles, very smooth. I think I played my cards right, dressed appropriate, etc. We got done around 1:30pm and I asked if she wanted to check out the MIT museum right down the street (lots of interesting displays of art and technology). She told me she had alot of school work to do because she recently came back from a family wedding in Mexico and had to play catchup with classes. I didnt doubt her one bit, but I feel like I made my first mistake right here: We walked to her car but I didnt give her a hug or make any other physical gesture, I just told her I would call or text her sometime soon.

Ive got some reasons for hope, but I really thought she would say yes to a few more hours of hanging out.

What are your thoughts? I will happily reply to your threads, just leave the URL link in your post!
 
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metjodes is offline metjodes Post #2  June 27,2010, 12:22pm
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She was probably just really busy (I can totally relate!). I would not take this personally. If I were you, I would just make sure to call her when you say you will. (Did you call her the next day?) And when you speak, ask her if she can give you a bigger block of her time, maybe on a weekend, because you'd like to take her out on a "date" date. Maybe once she has blocked the time away for you she can relax and won't have to rush anywhere...
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #3  June 27,2010, 12:23pm
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It sounds like everything went well. You should give her a call and see if she would like to do it again. She sounds like she is busy between work and school, but not too busy since she said yes to lunch.
 
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Sweatdog is offline Sweatdog Post #4  June 27,2010, 12:27pm
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Our lunch was today and I wasnt planning to call her until mid week. I think its important I dont threaten her busy schedule but I know I have to keep my foot on the gas or the ride will end (as bad as that sounds).
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  June 27,2010, 12:29pm
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Sweatdog wrote :
.... I just told her I would call or text her sometime soon.
How long ago was this date, and have you called or at least texted her yet?

The surest way to lose your chance at a second date is to wait too long to contact her again.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  June 27,2010, 12:32pm
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Sweatdog wrote :
Our lunch was today and I wasnt planning to call her until mid week. I think its important I dont threaten her busy schedule but I know I have to keep my foot on the gas or the ride will end (as bad as that sounds).
Your post showed up while I was composing mine.

Do NOT wait until mid-week.... that is too long and she will think you've lost interest. If you have reason to believe she is too busy for a phone call, send her a text. That doesn't take hardly any time at all to respond to, and if she starts responding a lot you'll know she has time for a phone call, too.
 
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metjodes is offline metjodes Post #7  June 27,2010, 12:39pm
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I agree. Don't wait. If she sees that you are pursuing her like that, she'll be more curious about you, and you'll be on her mind even though she is busy. If she liked you, she'll make time for you. You can text her and if she texts back, maybe ask when she has time to chat on the phone.
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #8  June 27,2010, 12:40pm
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Sweatdog wrote :
Our lunch was today and I wasnt planning to call her until mid week. I think its important I dont threaten her busy schedule but I know I have to keep my foot on the gas or the ride will end (as bad as that sounds).
I understand you not wanting to threaten her schedule, but I would call when you want to. Knowing when to call is tough though. I like to be called the next day after of a great date, but I know others that like to be called a few days later. I guess stick with what you feel comfortable with.
 
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Sweatdog is offline Sweatdog Post #9  June 27,2010, 12:40pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Your post showed up while I was composing mine.

Do NOT wait until mid-week.... that is too long and she will think you've lost interest. If you have reason to believe she is too busy for a phone call, send her a text. That doesn't take hardly any time at all to respond to, and if she starts responding a lot you'll know she has time for a phone call, too.
Ok I see your logic. Date was today so I will call her tomorrow night so the window doesnt close on my fingers.

Texting is easier in all respects so I purposely want to call her and give the impression shes worth more than a text message.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #10  June 27,2010, 12:44pm

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Sweatdog wrote :
Let me give a quick summary:

I met Laura in a clinical setting of a sleep study center I was visiting. She was my contact at the center, so she emailed me the study information, etc. I flirt-mailed back a bit then I asked if she would like to meet for lunch in Boston and I got a yes. She also volunteered her cell phone # which I had not yet asked for. She is about my age, 26-ish, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous, more of a "woman" than I have ever been involved with. Shes gung-ho about her education right now which I love, but that keeps her super busy.

The lunch date went great, lots of conversation and smiles, very smooth. I think I played my cards right, dressed appropriate, etc. We got done around 1:30pm and I asked if she wanted to check out the MIT museum right down the street (lots of interesting displays of art and technology). She told me she had alot of school work to do because she recently came back from a family wedding in Mexico and had to play catchup with classes. I didnt doubt her one bit, but I feel like I made my first mistake right here: We walked to her car but I didnt give her a hug or make any other physical gesture, I just told her I would call or text her sometime soon.

Ive got some reasons for hope, but I really thought she would say yes to a few more hours of hanging out.

What are your thoughts? I will happily reply to your threads, just leave the URL link in your post!
Your not trying to earn or qualify for a second date. That tone infers a lack of self confidence. You compromise yourself and your position when you phrase the relationship that way. What your hoping for is that during the course of lunch she decided that the two of you had enough common interests to move forward.

Calling is better than texting. If I want to see someone again I call them the following day and let them know I enjoyed their company and discuss a second date and time to meet.
 
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