dreamspiral is offline dreamspiral Post #1  June 25,2010, 7:08pm
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When walking past a girl on the street that you find attractive; do you say "Hello/Hi" if you have eye contact with her? What if you don't have eye contact with her (she doesn't look your way)? And if you decide to say "Hello/Hi"; how do you turn that into a conversation???
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #2  June 25,2010, 7:10pm
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Throw a rock at her. That is sure to start a conversation!

That type of stuff never happens to me. It is movie lore.
 
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kimbirdy is offline kimbirdy Post #3  June 25,2010, 7:18pm
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I've had strangers say "Hi" to me, but rather than thinking, "Oh, some guy is saying Hi to me", I have a horrible moment of panic thinking they know me and I've completely forgotten who they are...
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  June 25,2010, 11:22pm
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Female perspective: if we don't have eye contact, I don't want you to say hi, and I probably won't respond if you do.

If we were walking in opposite directions and you turn around and start walking next to me, I will put distance between us.

Those are the negatives ... here are the positives:

If we do have eye contact, I do want you to say hi. That's why we're having eye contact! I might even say hi first.

A conversation may ensue. It mostly happens to me when I'm out walking my dog. The dog is a natural conversation point. Also the park that we're in, the view, the weather, etc.

However. The chances of me giving a phone number or name to a guy I met in the park are not high. Unless I meet up with him repeatedly and we start to get to know one another.

But! it's an opportunity to talk to women, and can be fun!
 
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yeahitsme is offline yeahitsme Post #5  June 25,2010, 11:43pm
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I say hi to almost everybody I make eye contact with, but I'm from MN, and you know, we're supposed to be nice
 
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morningsunlight is offline morningsunlight Post #6  June 26,2010, 12:49am
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If you look at her, perhaps she'd notice. If not, let her go. For women, being followed from behind is scary even if well-intentioned.

If you have eye contact, smile, say hi, and give her compliments.

I do not know how other women may respond, but this leads me to say hi & thanks with a smile and bye. Let her go with "Have a good day." I'd say "You, too" with a smile back.

If they initiate conversations, I am more comfortable when they talk gentlemanly, respect my space, and don't keep me long.

Some men try to ask the number or give theirs on a piece of paper or a card. But I wonder what their success rates may be. For me, this just leads to polite no. If it is on spot, I just try to go away ASAP.

So my advice is to just say hi nicely and let her go. If you talk to her, let her go shortly. The next times you naturally see her around, say hi. Chat on a friendly term. Then ask her the number only after she seems more comfortable.
Last edited by morningsunlight; June 26,2010 at 1:27am.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #7  June 26,2010, 1:41am
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Unless I was standing still, someone walking in the opposite direction starting up a conversation would be just a tad scary. Eye contact, smile, say hi, and hope that you run into her again. The second time would be a much better opportunity to start up a conversation.
 
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dreamspiral is offline dreamspiral Post #8  June 26,2010, 8:10pm
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I tried to summarize the logic I was hearing from the posts... this is what I summarized...could anyone do a code review? thanks.

if (you are passing a woman where you are going in opposite directions... ) {

only say hi/hello if you get eye contact;
don't start a conversation regardless if she is receptive;

else if (you are at a cross walk waiting for traffic to clear) {

only say hi/hello if you get eye contact;
if (you have seen her more than once and had brief conversations that went well...) {
it's possible to ask her for her number or meet for coffee for more conversations;
}
else {
it's possible to start a brief conversation;
}

}
else {

don't try to establish eye contact as it is creepy;
don't start a conversation;

}
 
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DashMN is offline DashMN Post #9  June 26,2010, 8:28pm
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yeahitsme wrote :
I say hi to almost everybody I make eye contact with, but I'm from MN, and you know, we're supposed to be nice
Yep, fellow Minnesotan, and I do the same. Hi, a nod, a smile, some kind of acknowledgement. Must be a state law, lol. I think we also have a law that says if you're driving down a gravel road and cross paths in opposite directions, you have to wave. Paved roads are somehow excluded.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #10  June 26,2010, 8:39pm
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There are regional differences as to whether or not it is appropriate to say "Hi" to strangers.

Where I live, everyone says "Hi" when they pass on park trails, but not when on downtown sidewalks. They say "Hi" at work to people they see regularly, but they only strike up conversations with people they know well.

When I lived near London, UK, people did not usually say "Hello" in the street, but they would chat with other people standing in lines (for busses, the post office, etc.).

In all cases when saying "Hi," eye contact must be made first. Lack of eye contact means "Leave me alone."
 
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