Mis Representing oneself


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NanaAnna is offline NanaAnna Post #1  June 25,2010, 2:20pm
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I am new to online dating, and while I understand most of us want to put our best foot forward...why oh why would anyone put a picture 10-15 years old on their profile?

One of my "meets" posted 4 different pictures of himself all depicting a pleasant looking gentlemen with blonde hair and no beard. When he arrived at our "meet" had he not introduced himself...I wouldn't have guessed it was the same person. This man was bald with a beard. Now I don't have a problem with the baldness...he confesses the pictures were 10 years old on the site. Now why post those pics?

Another example. I emailed and talked by phone for a few weeks and things seem good. We make arrangements to meet and he tells me...oh by the way since we are going to meet those pictures are from 1998...yes 1998... There were 3 on the site. The new ones depicted a significantly older man, which that in itself was not a proble...it was the lying that bothered me.

If a person lies so much about what they look like...what else are they hiding???
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 25,2010, 2:23pm
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You are right.

You can ask the date a match's photos were taken - especially useful if they seem odd, you're paying for dinner, or the meeting is far away.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 25,2010, 2:29pm
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Either they have no new photos and are too lazy to get some, or they are insecure about their age/looks. I also think a lot of people don't realize how they actually look in person ... don't realize how different it is from their ancient photos.

Oh well! I guess if you like them you can get to know them better, to see if this was just a one-off oddity of online dating, or it's an indicator of a deceptive character!
 
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NanaAnna is offline NanaAnna Post #4  June 25,2010, 2:31pm
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Good idea, asking when the photos were taken. Who would think someone would put up something so dated...

Makes me think about a lady I worked with a few years back. She had a lovely personality, but was not the most attractive lady and went to the "Then" popular "Glamour Shots" and had these amazing photos of herself taken. I'm sure her suiters were quite surprised upon the first meeting...LOL

Everyone "SAYS" they are looking for sincerity, honesty, and truth but I would think common courtesy of expecting the same in oneself.

True??
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  June 25,2010, 2:38pm
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Yep.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #6  June 25,2010, 4:27pm
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Personally....I value honesty. If the pictures are accurate to how they look currently then I will not have an issue with them being slightly dated.

Of course there is a difference with being slightly aged and totally different.


The same issue is lying about your age. I have had women who fudge on their age too by putting their age a few years younger. If I find out and they didnt confess up front then its over. To me trust is something I value so lying about age calls into question everything else they told me.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #7  June 25,2010, 4:28pm
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He was obviously hiding some of his hair...
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #8  June 25,2010, 4:48pm
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I don't get that. It's nerve wracking enough to meet someone for the first time. Why set yourself up for surprising someone with your true look?

Unless, you just want to talk to someone......but if you want to meet them, it doesn't make sense.

Lord knows I would like to look like I did in my 30's, but I am not in my 30's anymore. I do, however, feel like I look ok for my age. It is what it is. Whomever I become involved with will need to feel attracted to what I am now.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #9  June 25,2010, 5:12pm
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Putting date captions on your own pictures sends the clear message that you expect your matches to do likewise.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  June 25,2010, 7:17pm
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I've said it before I'll say it again: Online Dating Blows
 
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