Dating when Unemployed . . .


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Ghost9650 is offline Ghost9650 Post #1  June 24,2010, 8:43pm
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Is it a good idea? Or is it better to wait until you have a job? How do you talk about your employment status? Have others out theres experienced this? What was it like?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  June 24,2010, 9:52pm
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There have been several threads on this over the last month or 2 ... yes, the economy isn't great. You might want to try to find them (though the search mechanism can be spotty).

Are you on EH? There have been discussions in Using Eharmony about what to put on your profile.

What I can say about it is, the best profile I saw on match.com was a guy who'd been laid off. He was upfront about it, and his profile showed a great attitude towards it. He talked about how he was dealing with it emotionally and financially, had some humor ... all in all came across as a great guy. Job notwithstanding.

Probably some matches won't like it and won't want to pursue a relationship. Others will be ok with it.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  June 24,2010, 10:46pm
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I'm unemployed. I keep myself busy though. Besides my house being close to spotless, I've started a couple new hobbies and started an online program.

As long as you can support yourself with UI benefits, pension, severance pay, etc, you should be fine. And, don't be sitting on your rear. If you aren't looking for a job at least volunteer or something.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #4  June 24,2010, 11:13pm

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Ghost9650 wrote :
Is it a good idea? Or is it better to wait until you have a job? How do you talk about your employment status? Have others out theres experienced this? What was it like?
Unemployed or not...what's more important is how healthy you are financially? Some people are employed, but living paycheck-to-paycheck and in the red by the end of every month....

If you have means to support yourself through the unemployment and don't go to extravagant restaurants, you should be ok.

Also, it depends on the kind of stuff you want to do, restaurants you want to go to....or if you're planning on going Dutch (ladies don't kill me I'm just speaking hypothetically ), etc.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #5  June 24,2010, 11:43pm
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It depends on whether the date is interested in you as a person or as a rung on the social or financial ladder. There's no reason why you shouldn't date but you may be marginalized, there are way too many people out there who think that because the only thing you bring to the table is you then you're automatically a loser.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  June 25,2010, 8:58am
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Being unemployed can be stressful. I'd wonder if the person is emotionally ready to engage in a relationship. Their energy should be focused on finding a new job. I just don't think it's a good time for two people to get involved.
 
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gummibearlover is offline gummibearlover Post #7  June 25,2010, 1:29pm
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i dont think it makes a difference if your employed or not. i would suggest that you just list your normal profession in your profile and dont bring up that you are unemployed until the 3rd date. This way it isnt putting too heavy of a topic out there initially--you dont want sympathy or mommying you want the woman to be attracted(at least thats what id want if i was on a date with a guy--just be cute and charming). If someone likes you they like you and if they are worth anything they will stick with you.

good luck. I also think you will be a better job candidate if you are relaxed and happy with your life.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #8  June 25,2010, 1:32pm
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I am unemployed and I have been dating someone who was also laid off prior to our starting to date. We were both up front with each other from the beginning. We both spend a good part of each day looking for work, attending job fairs and networking events...all in an effort to find jobs.

I don't think that just because you are unemployed that you should not consider dating. You just have to be creative. I live in a big city where there are museums, events, zoos, etc. and there are lot of free days at different places. So we search around for things that we can do for free or very, very cheaply. Also, you can rent movies very cheaply, play board games, cook at home - whatever - and just make your own fun. Again, you need to be creative.

What we have learned is that you don't need to have a lot of money to have fun. Also, instead of doing a lot of things we spent a lot of time talking and really getting to know each other.

Does anyone know how romantic it is took cook a meal at home together?? Or make some sandwiches and pack a picnic basket and sit out in the park on a blanket?

Being unemployed is depressing enough. Why should the unemployed have to suffer, be miserable, and not have love because they don't have a job??? There are days when the only thing that keeps me sane is that I know that at the end of the day I will see this man or speak with him and some how, some way I will feel better. So get creative, use your imagination and try to have some fun!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  June 25,2010, 1:45pm
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I consider it best to continue to list an occupational title of your last position (at least, if you intend to remain in the same career.) I would not list "unemployed" - since on online dating site customarily askes for occupation and not job.

It does not bother me to get this in matches, and I will communicate with them regardless. I look more at occupational intents, and anticipated lifetime earnings, along with compatible values and lifestyle, than I do at momentary employment status.
 
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amused_n_confused is offline amused_n_confused Post #10  June 25,2010, 2:19pm
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I am one of those people who's company basically tanked due to the economy and I loss quite a stable job. It's funny, because when I was working, I had too many other things going on to concentrate on getting into a relationship. It's only now that I've been unemployed, I've had some time to work on myself and think about finding the right person.

I've been pretty upfront with my matches. If they ask during open communication, I tell them the truth. I don't think it is something that should be completely shocking due to the current state of the economy. I also let them know that I am actively searching. I've also left what I did on my profile because that is my career path, even if I am not currently employed.

Thankfully, I am still secure financially, due to the fact that I was a pretty good saver while I was employed, so money isn't too huge of an issue as long as I am practical about it. It shouldn't affect anyone I'm dating in any way, since I insist typically on going dutch anyway.
 
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