AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #1  June 23,2010, 11:03pm
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One of the men I dated a few months ago works in the auto industry. When he picked me up for out first date he drove a bit fast, braking late to stops and jerky turns. I chopped it up to nerves and the fact that we had a huge earthquake earlier that day.

On our second date he picks me up and drives in the same manner. It's like he can't get to where he's going fast enough. He was otherwise a calm mannered, responsible and even tempered person. But, he drove like he was angry. Not in his body language, but in how he handled the vehicle.

If we were in our 20's or teens I might let it slide. But, nowadays I appreciate a decent driver. Feeling like you have to hold onto the seat or handle above your head for a 2 mile drive through town on 25 mph streets isn't appealing.

So, not counting what kind of car someone drives, would you see it as a red flag (big or small) if someone had this "need for speed" or semi reckless driving habits?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  June 23,2010, 11:09pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Not too long ago on a double date I rode with a really reckless driver. Since then I've been a bit loathe to ride with people I don't know. Who knows....maybe he's thinking that his driving will impress you.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #3  June 24,2010, 2:55am
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I think a person's driving can tell you a lot about them ...how aggressive they are (which is ok, I guess, until you begin wondering what might happen if that aggression is turned on you), organized vs. disorganized, self-centered vs thinking about others, intelligence, etc.

The choice of their car, the color, and how they maintain it, in general, is a good indicator of someone's personality ...
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #4  June 24,2010, 3:23am
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I too have ridden with this kind of driver (men--friends, not dates). In my experience, it has turned out to express a hostile personality, even if the anger was not directed at me.

I know one colleague drove "angrily" when we lived in the same city years ago when he was in hi 30s and I was in my 20s. We kept in touch through the years as friends and when we met in person again about a decade later, not only was his driving fine but his overall temperament had likewise evened out.

When I went to meet my guy for the first time, I was attuned to how he drove. My sociopathic father had also been an angry driver, too. But my guy was great behind the wheel, even in some very frustrating driving situations.

So I personally think how somebody drives says something.
 
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Antalicus is offline Antalicus Post #5  June 24,2010, 6:54am
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I only drive like that when I am alone.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  June 24,2010, 6:58am
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That used to be a red flag for me, I hate aggressive drivers. Now I have a male close friend who drives like that. And is otherwise a very sweet, intelligent, sensitive, thoughtful, well-organized man with good boundaries, good morals, respect for other people.

?? I think he's very busy and he just wants to get from point A to point B as fast as he can, and it doesn't mean anything about who he is, otherwise.

His driving isn't bad enough that I won't ride with him. But if it were ... I'd still be friends, I just wouldn't get in his car.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #7  June 24,2010, 7:00am
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uh, oh... I'm one of those drivers ... but, I warn the person up front that I am a bad driver, and they "enter at their own risk!"

I just think it's more about ability than anything hidden in the personality or something like that. I don't fault other bad drivers as this would be a pot/kettle situation for me.

I really do like it when a guy knows how to drive well though... that is a major A+ in my book!
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #8  June 24,2010, 7:05am

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Iconography wrote :
I too have ridden with this kind of driver (men--friends, not dates). In my experience, it has turned out to express a hostile personality, even if the anger was not directed at me.

I know one colleague drove "angrily" when we lived in the same city years ago when he was in hi 30s and I was in my 20s. We kept in touch through the years as friends and when we met in person again about a decade later, not only was his driving fine but his overall temperament had likewise evened out.

When I went to meet my guy for the first time, I was attuned to how he drove. My sociopathic father had also been an angry driver, too. But my guy was great behind the wheel, even in some very frustrating driving situations.

So I personally think how somebody drives says something.
I agree with what you said here, though I'll add that pretty much EVERYTHING someone does says something about them.

Much the same way there's some truth in every joke, there's some part of the actor in every action.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  June 24,2010, 7:21am
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jussmile wrote :
uh, oh... I'm one of those drivers ... but, I warn the person up front that I am a bad driver, and they "enter at their own risk!"

I just think it's more about ability than anything hidden in the personality or something like that. I don't fault other bad drivers as this would be a pot/kettle situation for me and claim to be a great driver. (no accidents, tickets, etc)

I really do like it when a guy knows how to drive well though... that is a major A+ in my book!
I think there is a difference between someone who acknowledges they aren't a good driver and someone who drives like this all the time.


Interesting views on this. I will say he holds a lot of anger towards his ex wife. She cheated, drank, drugs, etc. And he had a couple of odd things he was determined to keep going in his life. But, they weren't hazardous, just odd.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; June 24,2010 at 7:37am. Reason: clarity
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #10  June 24,2010, 8:32am

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I drive fast but not reckless. Anyone who is not afraid of higher speeds will tell you I am a good driver. Those that don't like high speeds tend to keep their eyes shut so have no opinion of my actual driving skills.

My ex drives slow and reckless. I tend to think it is the reckless that is scary. Especially when you consider I have taken cars up to 140 without too much stress and five minutes in the car with him I want to jump out.

What was the question again?

Just kidding.

To me reckless driving would be a red flag. It shows a lack of respect for the power of a car. Hum, how to explain. When I am driving, fast, slow or otherwise, I am very aware of everything around me and how I can potentially interact with it. Someone who drives reckless doesn't appear to care about how their driving effects others. If they don't care about something so dangerous what else do they not care about.

Oh, I drive fast because I have too much on my plate. It was either figure out how to add hours to the day or find some time while driving.
Last edited by Can_I_just_be_Jo; June 24,2010 at 8:34am.
 
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