ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #1  June 23,2010, 5:05pm
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This is from a topic recently posted about someone having the last names.

There was a real story I recall from about 10 years ago from North Carolina where after doing some research a husband and wife discovered they were actually siblings (not sure if they were full or half--mom was the same). The mother had the boy when she was young and put him up for adoption in a small town. Then a few years later she had another child who she decided to keep and raise. When they were teenagers the two kids went to the same school and had a relationship. After high school they got married and had a child of their own. Only after did they discover that they were actually siblings.

My ex-wife parents did something similar where they had a baby before marriage (a sin then) and put the baby up for adoption. Later got married and had her. When she discovered this and asked her parents they refused to say anything to her.

My Aunt did something similar where in the late 60s she got pregnant when she was single. She went into hiding to have the baby and put the child up for adoption. It was a family secret.

If you just meet someone in a traditional way where you meet through friends and live in a large metro area. The relationship is great. Only after 6 months in after doing some family history stuff you discover you two are distant cousins.

What would you do ??? Would you stay together?

How close would be two close for you? 1st cousins have the same grand parents.

Would it not matter as much if this is a cousin you never knew before vs a cousin you knew well growing up or saw regularly at family functions?

I remember when I was little (like 6 or 7) I had a crush on a 3rd cousin of mine (same great grandmother). She was around the same age as me.

In all state marrying first cousins is illegal. The reason is because it can accelerate rare genetic disorders. There are numerous diseases out there that developed due to isolated populations with little movement of people in or out. They are currently finding such things with Amish and Mesonites in Pennsylvania and the Ohio Valley.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 23,2010, 5:09pm
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Legality is a pretty good reason to leave someone.

I have to say though, of all the reasons to end a relationship, this just might be the least of my concerns.

If the situation invited scorn, that would probably be a reason, too.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #3  June 23,2010, 6:23pm
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Are you sure most states recognize marriages of 1st cousins as legal? That doens't sound right to me.

For me... I would end the relationship according to whether there it is safe or not for potential offspring (the genetic complications you mentioned before).

Sorry, but reality is not like the movies. Love s NOT enough.

Richey
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #4  June 23,2010, 6:28pm

blames self-help books

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As someone who is adopted, welcome to my he!!. So far I haven't hooked up with any sibs yet.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #5  June 23,2010, 7:31pm
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State Laws Regarding Marriages Between First Cousins

Unless I counted wrong, 25 states forbid first-cousin marriage and 6 more allow it under certain circumstances.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #6  June 23,2010, 8:03pm
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This is why men should only date women significantly more attractive than themselves ... to ensure they aren't related!!!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  June 23,2010, 8:16pm
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You got me curious enough to google it. I won't vouch for how accurate this site is, but it seems to have good data:

Facts about cousin marriage - CousinCouples.com

It is legal to marry a first cousin in 26 states. The US is the only western country with any marriage restrictions on first cousins. The rate of birth defects for non-related couples is about 2 - 3 %; for first cousins it is about 4 - 6%.

Interesting. Unless there are known genetic difficulties in a family (and the couple wants to have kids), there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it... except for some families' sense of "ick."
 
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annother is offline annother Post #8  June 23,2010, 8:34pm
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...and then there's the royal family. Not first cousins, but, hey...
 
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richey is offline richey Post #9  June 28,2010, 3:10am
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wow that's shocking to hear for me ~ that the usa is the ONLY Western country that has any laws forbading 1st cousin marriage (and it's not even consistent in 1/2 the states!). Especially when the likelihood of complications DOUBLES from such marriages!

Then again, when a website is named CousinCouples.com ~ I would sort of expect them to lean on the side of "no really, it's okay".

But interesting nevertheless!

Richey
 
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