He canceled our 2nd date. Is that a red flag?


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prez is offline prez Post #1  June 21,2010, 7:50pm
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Hello everyone,

I met someone (not through eharmony) a few weeks back and we really hit it off right away. He asked me out on the spot but I was going out of town for a couple of weeks so our date couldn't happen right away. While I was away we spoke on the phone several times for at least 1 hour and always had great conversations.

When I returned, we went out to a nice dinner date and after dinner he invited me over to his house. I usually wouldn't go there but I felt super comfortable and went. We ended up talking and making out of the couch and things got pretty hot and heavy (just making out). This is also something I've never done on a first date.

We did speak after the date and he said he totally had a great time and wanted to do it again. He contacted me a couple days later and we set a date. He had family in town and were hosting them. Well the day before our second date he called me and canceled saying that he was really tired and didn't want to fall asleep on me. He even said he knew it was a lame excuse but it was the truth. He also implied he was a bit down about his family leaving. He said he wants to take me out later on this week. Later on that evening, I called him b/c I felt bad that I was not really present during the conversation and I told him I understood what it felt like to have family leave and if he wants to talk he can feel free to call. That was 2 days ago. He hasn't called or texted me. Of course I left it up to him but he hasn't contacted me about our date either.

So what do you think? Is he just not into me or is it something else. Should I try contacting one more time or is it totally in his court? Thanks you guys!!!!
 
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TooMuchLomi is offline TooMuchLomi Post #2  June 21,2010, 7:59pm
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I think he may be under the assumption that you were being pushy by calling him back after the initial conversation. Your reason for calling him back should not have made him any less likely to get in touch with you at a later date. I may be wrong though, as 2 days isn't really a lot of time for busy people.

Maybe just shoot him a funny text about something of no consequence to your current situation and see if he responds.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  June 21,2010, 8:07pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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It's not a red flag until later in the week he doesn't call to make that date.
 
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prez is offline prez Post #4  June 21,2010, 8:21pm
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@Toomuchloni - I sincerely called b/c I felt like I was kind of distracted during the conversation. Not sure about the funny text b/c I think he may read into that as me trying to get him to contact me.
@liveenlearn - so your advice is that I wait and not call?
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  June 21,2010, 8:42pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Yes, see if he is a man of his word.
 
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yeahitsme is offline yeahitsme Post #6  June 21,2010, 9:08pm
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is contractually obligated to say yes

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Is it typical for him to not respond for several days?
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #7  June 21,2010, 9:55pm
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This was a two days....you can wait and see if he calls. I am sure he is thinking about Friday or Saturday night which means he probably will not call you till Wednesday or Thursday night.
 
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prez is offline prez Post #8  June 21,2010, 10:48pm
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yeahitsme wrote :
Is it typical for him to not respond for several days?
If I've called him he usually responded within a few minutes, hours, or a day max. This is the longest that he did not respond. Granted I did say if you want to talk at the end of my message and that means if he doesn't want to talk he's not obligated to call, but most people would I think out of common courtesy.
 
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prez is offline prez Post #9  June 21,2010, 10:52pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
This was a two days....you can wait and see if he calls. I am sure he is thinking about Friday or Saturday night which means he probably will not call you till Wednesday or Thursday night.
That makes sense but unfortunately for him I get booked up pretty quickly especially this week. I already have 2 guys who want to take me out but I haven't set anything with them b/c I'm hoping he comes through, but at the latest these plans would be made on Wednesday.
Would it seem desperate to call him by tomorrow or Wednesday? Really all I want to know is if he's interested. I know most people just say wait and see if he calls and that will be your answer but I hate that. I think why can't people be adult about things. I mean just tell the person even if through a text that you're not interested. I mean in his case that would make him look like a liar given everything he's said to me but still I'd rather know then not know. I'm a door open or door closed kinda girl. I don't like shades of grey when it comes to relationships.
 
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seeksoulmate is offline seeksoulmate Post #10  June 22,2010, 12:54am
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Already you appear desperate! Look... MAYBE he is interested in you, and MAYBE he actually meant what he said! It's only been a couple of days...relax! If he wants to see you again, he WILL call. In the meantime go out with one or both of these guys who DO want to see you! It's better than sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. And if or when it does ring, Great! If not, maybe it won't matter. Maybe you'll make a connection with one of these other guys! Either way, don't let life pass you by waiting on a guy!! Hope this helps and good luck.
 
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