The age thing

15 years is enough of an age difference that you could biologically be their mother. This is something that would make me cringe.

In my case, I wouldn't find a man attractive who was much younger than my own age. I think I am quite rigid on this because when I was in high school, I had a part-time job that put me around a lot middle school kids. Just a mere 5 year difference made those boys seem so immature. Boys at my school even a couple years younger seemed so immature too. That has conditioned me to see men even a few years younger than me as too young, and men in the range of 15 years younger as incredibly inappropriate (for me!) -- so I definitely have the cringe factor too.

I don't think you need to "grow up". I think it's perfectly reasonable to find it uncomfortable to date someone with such a huge age difference. You don't need to change your preferences to be someone you aren't, and this isn't something you need to get over, like shyness or insecurity.

If it is something you want to pursue, I wish you luck though.

It depends on what you're looking for. Yum is one thing. (And not to be underrated!) But compatibility is another thing. I have to feel like my match and I have similar cultural references. I mesh best with people in my same generation. I also need to feel like fertility is not a major issue for him and that he might eventually see me as a viable partner for the long haul. It's these things that make my comfort level just 5 or so years younger.

IRL I'd be more open to a slightly younger range perhaps because I could assess these things in person and be more open minded but in the cut and dried world of online dating, my age cut off is pretty firm. Yes, I am probably missing out on some people because of that but so be it.

In other words, I think you're entitled to your preferences. If you're on the fence, go for it and see how you feel in person.

It seems that the problem you have with the age difference exists on an emotional level. If you think this difference really wouldn't bother you if you meet them face-to-face then give it a shot. If it still bothers you then you can decide to spend some time to see if this emotional reaction is something you can or want to change....or you can just give up on guys who are that much younger. Best wishes.

Resistance is futile.

I should probably mention that I am 53 and these guys are 39 and 38. So I think at my age this level of gap is less of an issue from a maturity standpoint than if I was 40. I have mostly dated older. In my young twenties I briefly dated a man who was in his 50's. It was fun but the difference was too great.

Thanks for the advice...helpful thoughts.