HIGHLYFAVRD1 is offline HIGHLYFAVRD1 Post #1  June 17,2010, 11:57am
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So hello all, this is my first time posting, and definitely need some advice. I met this guy on EH a couple of weeks back. He is a couple years older than me, smart, cute, educated, well-rounded, and seems to be very caring. More importantly he seems to share most of the same values as me on being a Christian. Both of us believe in being celibate before marriage. Although I do have children from previous relationships. I have changed, and been celibate for years now.

Anyway long story short, he showed interest in me, and we began communicating. Well the past couple of nights have started talking on the phone via the "Secure phone" feature. Well he has been asking to call me back, and I am really interested in him. He has even mentioned about visiting Kansas where I live maybe in the future, we'll see. He lives in Virginia. However I feel like I am carrying the conversation. Both times we have had really good convo's, and have talked 2+hours. But I am mostly the one I feel asking questions. I want to know how to open him up, once I ask something he does. When I feel like I can't think of anything or convo starts winding down, I get off. We tell each other good night, and he asks when he can call again, and hang up. I don't know if he is usually this reserved or not. I don't think it is a chemistry thing. I definitely feel that there. So let me know your thoughts.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  June 17,2010, 12:46pm
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Hi HIGHLYFAVRD1 and welcome to EHA.

I think it's hard to have long phone convo's with someone I've never met. That's a problem with an LDR. Can you do Skype? That would be an improvement, creates a better connection and possibly would be easier for him to talk.

Also, if the 2 of you can manage it, meeting sooner rather than later is probably good. Email/phone-only contact can lead to a lot of fantasy.
 
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rarepearl4jesus is offline rarepearl4jesus Post #3  June 17,2010, 1:00pm
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It may be just my experience with men, but I find most of the time men wait for women to go from subject-to-subject. It is rare I find a guy who brings up topics or asks questions.

For me, I do want my next relationship to be with a man who at least asks questions.

Ask him open ended questions where he can't answer with one-liners, or short answers. For example, instead of, "How was your lunch at work today?", ask "What do you like to do during your lunch hour at work?"

~Stacey~
 
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