When to mention my exotic pets?


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Merchanca is offline Merchanca Post #1  June 15,2010, 11:27am
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I have as pets, beside my dog, a lot of reptiles. I keep chameleons (google Panther Chameleons if you're making the "eeek" face, because they're really very beautiful) and geckos, and lets just say I have more than 10 in total. But they are confined in their own little room, in case anyone's worried that they're spread out across the entire house.

To me they are my passion, but I'm always a little worried about how friends (and potential boyfriends) might respond to them.

So when do I mention them? Because I've though about just mentioning the 4 chameleons, but I don't want to seem like a liar later. Or do I keep them all a secret until later? I obviously want to date people that would understand my interests, but I know I risk coming off as a weirdo as well.

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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #2  June 15,2010, 11:40am
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You weirdo.

Just kidding.

I'd mention it sooner rather than later, since it's an important interest of yours. I'd like to know that up front as a match or potential date, but that's just because I think lizards, snakes and other exotic pets are cool.

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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 15,2010, 12:09pm
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H'mmmm. This might be one of those things that you save as a surprise as someone gets to know you.

In early online matching, you want to be clear on the major dealbreaker stuff (marriage or no, kids or no, etc.) but you don't want to make a huge long list of why people might close you out without meeting you.

However, if you really want a man who loves reptiles, and that's a dealbreaker for you, definitely put it out there right away!

I am an animal rights person, and this is the conclusion I've come to about handling issues like this. It's a hard one to figure out!
 
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TryingHardToNotTrySoHard is offline TryingHardToNotTrySoHard Post #4  June 15,2010, 12:24pm
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If it were pets that were considered more dangerous, like boa constrictors or something, that might be something to keep to yourself until later. If you are really into your lizards, though, and it's important that your man be, too, I say have that in your "Something to Talk About" section and bring it up sooner rather than later.

I can't speak for all guys, of course, but I bet most of them would find at least the chameleons cool, make a couple Geico jokes on the geckos, and be fine with it. I know that's what I'd do. Best of luck!
 
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Antalicus is offline Antalicus Post #5  June 15,2010, 12:55pm
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Those panther chameleons look pretty cool. Even a person who doesn't care for reptiles would most likely find those interesting.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #6  June 15,2010, 1:04pm
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You need to be up front about this right from the start (by the second date...unless pets are brought up earlier in conversation).

You have an excessive number of pets so this is a deal breaker when dating so why waste your time with a date who will turn and walk when he sees your house and the zoo you have.

There will be some guys who are fine with that but this will take you longer to find.

If you are looking through dating sites where you have easily met people before mentioning. Go on your profile and mention it and see what happens..will you get more or less response.

Its your right to have the pets you want....it isnt really the exoticness of some of your pets because you would get a similar reaction if you had say 3 cats, 2 dogs, 2 birds, a rabbit, and a hamster.

Geckos arent so exotic..my sister had as pets (because I am highly allergic to animal dander and feathers) an iguana...who actually survived....unlike the fish and a few geckos who escaped from their home and we found them electricuted near the outlets.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #7  June 15,2010, 1:26pm
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In my opinion, the reptiles are not a problem. Ten really isn't that many, considering their size.

My son has had so many different types of lizards over the years. They were kept in a beautiful aquarium and didn't pose a problem. He also had an iguana that was about 4 foot long. Also, a tarantula and many snakes over the years. The snakes were a problem, though.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #8  June 15,2010, 8:23pm
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Antalicus wrote :
Those panther chameleons look pretty cool. Even a person who doesn't care for reptiles would most likely find those interesting.

6dle899 would love to put one of them on a scotch plaid and see what happened.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #9  June 15,2010, 8:28pm
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Merchanca wrote :
I have as pets, beside my dog, a lot of reptiles. I keep chameleons (google Panther Chameleons if you're making the "eeek" face, because they're really very beautiful) and geckos, and lets just say I have more than 10 in total. But they are confined in their own little room, in case anyone's worried that they're spread out across the entire house.

To me they are my passion, but I'm always a little worried about how friends (and potential boyfriends) might respond to them.

So when do I mention them? Because I've though about just mentioning the 4 chameleons, but I don't want to seem like a liar later. Or do I keep them all a secret until later? I obviously want to date people that would understand my interests, but I know I risk coming off as a weirdo as well.

Thanks!
I think most people have a tendency to lean towards negative conclusions in early dating stages. So actually I would wait on telling this information until they get to know you and can see that this hobby is just part of a well-rounded person and not some kind of weird obsession.

I think the fact that you are here asking and a little hesitant about telling it right off tells me you know this already intuitively. The thing is you're letting this one tiny little thing overshadow everything about you when you approach it like it's some kind of dirty laundry that must be aired right away. And you're making it seem a much bigger dealbreaker when you give off that vibe about it than it really is.

Handle it matter of factly in my opinion, as if it is no big deal, because really, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't. Assuming you are someone who is responsible and cares for your pets, it's actually a good factor about you. It means you are not someone likely to neglect a significant other.

I would let it come up naturally ... ie if and when he visits your home.

Well that's just my 2 fwiw.
Last edited by nightling; June 15,2010 at 8:34pm.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #10  June 15,2010, 8:56pm
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I had a gf who kept rats ... not my cup o' tea, but ...*shrugs* ...
 
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