red_shoes is offline red_shoes Post #1  June 14,2010, 6:45pm
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I'd never payed attention to The Bachelor and Bachelorette tv show until this year, and I have to say I think it provides some great lessons for all of us daters.

1) You may think you are doing a sweet gesture, but it can come off as being creepy. Keep all extravagant acts at bay until it is definite that there is mutual chemistry.

2) Even though you might like the person, BOTH people have to feel the connection. It can't be explained, it doesn't mean you did something wrong or aren't good looking and kind, it's just chemistry is either there or it isn't!

3) Stay away from using suave lines and serenading anyone (at least for the first couple of dates).

I know these things seem obvious, but sometimes you need to see how it looks on tv to fully realize how actions come across to potential mates.

Stay sane and learn to accept people's decisions about whether or not they feel chemistry!

Happy dating!
 
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TryingHardToNotTrySoHard is offline TryingHardToNotTrySoHard Post #2  June 14,2010, 6:54pm
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I used to watch a show that had one guy or one gal go out with four members of the opposite sex...at the same time. Throughout the date, the others would be picked off one at a time until only one was left. I have never been the type of guy who will try to berate other men to win a woman's attention, and I don't think I'll ever understand how it was so often these guys and girls who did who ended up "winning," if you can call it that.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  June 14,2010, 7:49pm
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red, even though your assessment of what not to do on a date is correct, you have to realize it is reality TV. The show has been on long enough that these men (and women) know that it takes getting noticed to stay. So, some of those extreme action seen on TV aren't what those men would most likely do on a date sans television production crew.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #4  June 14,2010, 8:09pm
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I like MTV's Disaster Date for real life lessons in dating.

Sure it's a prank blind date, but you see the unsuspecting person's real response. The fake date acts like a total freak and the girls that are set up generally smile and try to graciously bow out of the date. They say things like "maybe we can do this another time".

Reminds me of when guys who come here and say that she smiled and said she would go out with me again, but never responded to my emails, texts and phone calls after the first date.

Yes, sometimes women are rude to say they would like to go on a date again, but sometimes it's just self-preservation kicking in to get out of a bad situation without too much added drama.

BTW: especially loved the guy who pounded back some drinks. then picked a fight with a mime!
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #5  June 15,2010, 10:01am
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In some ways the bachelor/ette show can give you some examples of personal interaction....but....

The show with its producers goose the scenes to play out the drama. Like the ask the other men to pick on someone else.

In this year they design it to have the opposite people on a 2 on 1 date so they tell her in some ways who she needs to keep for the show for a couple of dates.

For example next week Kasey and Justin---the two polar opposite who always argue just happen to go on a 2 on 1 date where one stays and the other goes. They did they same with Jake last year where they had total opposites on this date...and the way to do it is to have some control by the producers who who stays or goes.

I think Wes from the last Bacholorette was kept on by the producers because of the conflict he brought.

FYI---this year I predict the four finalists with by Roberto and Chris L, Frank, and the guy from Wisconsin (forget is name).
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #6  June 15,2010, 10:12am

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This is why I never watch Bachelor or Bachelorette when it comes to dating tips (or anything else like Temptation Island, etc).

I prefer Animal Planet!
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #7  June 15,2010, 11:13am
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PY_2 wrote :
This is why I never watch Bachelor or Bachelorette when it comes to dating tips (or anything else like Temptation Island, etc).

I prefer Animal Planet!
I guess you are in envy of the Bonobos?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  June 15,2010, 11:56am

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ami1uwant wrote :
I guess you are in envy of the Bonobos?
what kind of fruit is that?
 
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Breezy1 is offline Breezy1 Post #9  June 15,2010, 12:59pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
I guess you are in envy of the Bonobos?
PY_2 wrote :
what kind of fruit is that?
PY, don't be silly. It's the guy who played Danny on The Partridge Family.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  June 15,2010, 1:28pm

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Breezy1 wrote :
PY, don't be silly. It's the guy who played Danny on The Partridge Family.
I didn't watch The Partridge Family growing up....was it Danny Bonaduce or am I mistaking him for somebody else?
 
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