Starting a relationship with a man in the military...


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jeepgirl22 is offline jeepgirl22 Post #1  June 13,2010, 8:35pm
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So I've met a really great guy through eHarmony. One slight catch, he is in the army and in Iraq right now. The good news is he will be back for quite awhile in about a month or so, however, current communication is limited to chats and such for obvious reasons. I've heard so many times that you should move into an actual voice conversation after a couple of weeks, but what do you do if that simply isn't possible? I'm all freaked out now because I would like for this to work =\

If any one has any advice or experience with this or any suggestions as to what I can do, I would appreciate anything!!
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #2  June 13,2010, 8:47pm
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Skype?
 
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jeepgirl22 is offline jeepgirl22 Post #3  June 13,2010, 8:56pm
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True...very true lol. And then if it doesn't work, like literally Skype not working, on one of our ends....then what? Some people don't have webcams, and I'm not sure if he does or not...
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #4  June 13,2010, 9:01pm
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O, o. Then that wont be good.
I guess you'll have to stick with IM's and e-mails till then. A month can go by pretty fast.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  June 13,2010, 9:10pm
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I've dated a couple of guys in the military. When they were gone I wrote tons of letters and saved them up and sent them in one package every week or month. This was before cell phones, e-mails and skype. The time apart goes quickly.

Once you've met in person things might change. Just keep doing what you're doing and you should be fine.

ETA: I would send toys to them too. Remote control cars or anything that "boys" like. When they break they loved to fix them too.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #6  June 13,2010, 9:25pm
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You haven't even gone on a date yet ... why would you be all freaked out?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #7  June 13,2010, 9:56pm
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You are kinda jumping the gun here (so to speak), no? He'll be back in a month, for goodness sake...lol! If you don't speak before then, then you will soon enough.

You can go ahead and ask him if he has access to Skype, but given that he is in the process of redeploying he may be limited at this point to using computers or accessing the internet in the MWR center. You can go ahead and send him your phone number, too, if you want to as well. If he wants to call you that way, he will then have the information he needs to do it.

Re: the suggestion to send him something by mail, it's too late to do that. He already has a mail stop in effect.

Be aware that it can take them awhile to get back. He may be stuck in Kuwait for days before he can head back over here. And, once he gets back he'll have some things he'll have to do before his block leave starts.

But seriously, calm down. You are getting waaaaay too worked up about something where you don't have enough information to know if it's even an issue (and, even if it's an issue, it's not really an issue because he's almost home!).

Edited to add: Keep in mind, too, that you are not in a relationship with this man at this point. You have been getting to know each other, but you don't know each other, and you won't really get to do that until you meet in person.
Last edited by neardc; June 13,2010 at 10:00pm.
 
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