Wow ... What A Great 1st Date!


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CreativeGemini is offline CreativeGemini Post #1  June 13,2010, 2:35pm
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Well not really since it didn't occur.

One of my eH matches and I have been communicating for the past 2 - 3 weeks, initially via email and them by phone. Most recently we decided it was time to meet up in person and take that next step. We set up our 1st date for a weekend afternoon where we'd go do a fun activity (think bowling, mini-golf, billiards, etc) which was a good idea and it left the opportunity open to get a bite to eat afterward.

To cut to the juicy details I arrived for our date on time and since she was driving in from a city an hour away I figured she maybe a few minutes late which I'd pardon. 30 minutes later I receive a phone call from her exclaiming how her pet had taken off away from her and that she'd finally managed to catch it when she called

What troubles me the most is that she could of called well before to let me know about the situation, but instead she opted to leave me hanging for half and hour.

Now I'm faced with a few decisions. Should I cut it off completely or reschedule and give her a second chance? Should I call her out on her actions?

What are the communities thoughts?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  June 13,2010, 2:44pm
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Seriously? If you like her, then call her again. Consider it special circumstances.

And if someone "called me out" on that, that would be it.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  June 13,2010, 2:46pm
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Dang it. I thought you really did have a good date!
I was hoping for a positive post.

Do you really need to call her out?
I agree that she could have called before hand.

I think it all depends on how much you really wanted to meet her after all the other communications you two have had.
 
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CreativeGemini is offline CreativeGemini Post #4  June 13,2010, 3:00pm
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I apologize for the tease, just being a bit sarcastic. I do have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that we couldn't meet up since we both gel pretty good and I was looking forward to meeting her.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and reschedule.
 
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slavonka37 is offline slavonka37 Post #5  June 13,2010, 3:03pm
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maybe she was testing your patience or wanted to see if you are interested or how would you react but still first date????
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #6  June 13,2010, 3:04pm
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CreativeGemini wrote :
I apologize for the tease, just being a bit sarcastic. I do have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that we couldn't meet up since we both gel pretty good and I was looking forward to meeting her.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and reschedule.
YEA! Now thats a positive note.

Yea, there is a lot of sarcasm on the boards lately. (whistling icon goes here)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  June 13,2010, 3:32pm
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CreativeGemini wrote :
I arrived for our date on time and since she was driving in from a city an hour away I figured she maybe a few minutes late which I'd pardon. 30 minutes later I receive a phone call from her exclaiming how her pet had taken off away from her and that she'd finally managed to catch it when she called

What troubles me the most is that she could of called well before to let me know about the situation, but instead she opted to leave me hanging for half and hour.

Now I'm faced with a few decisions. Should I cut it off completely or reschedule and give her a second chance? Should I call her out on her actions?

So, she actually failed to call you for about 1.5 hours (since she would have had to leave 1 hour prior to your meeting.)

While I suppose it is conceivable she may have been without her phone when things got started ... though, I think a person would not likely chase an animal around for 1.5 hours (probably be best to wait for it to get hungry and come back, anyway.)

Therefore, I think you got "stood up." (I would not miss a date for something like this.)

While it is always tempting to "call out" rude, disrespectful behavior, that gains you only a fleeting sense of moral superiority, but nothing of practical value (and guarantees you lose her, if she was genuine.)

It is now her responsibility to reschedule your meeting. She should also pay for this meeting, to compensate you for your wasted time and travel.

If she fails to make such a plan, and you are generous, then perhaps you can try arranging one more. (If it were me, I would not drive after getting stood up once.)

***

I have had only one woman miss a first meeting (traffic delay), that did not subsequently prove to be playing me for an idiot.

Personally, I think unless she reschedules, I would give up.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #8  June 13,2010, 3:45pm
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I think you should let her reschedule. If she calls, be polite (ask her how her pet is doing), but let her know she can set it up this time.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #9  June 13,2010, 3:53pm
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if you want to be a jerk to someone for what is probably an honest oversight, make her reschedule with you.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  June 13,2010, 4:03pm
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Was she bringing her pet along and maybe let it out to do its thing? Just a thought that if she was driving in from somewhere and had to stop for her pet's sake, she might not have had cell service. Of course, that's assuming you live in an area that has spotty service, like I do.

If she just let you sit for an hour plus I'd be thinking she was a bit of a flake and would leave it up to her to express more interest in meeting.
 
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